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A Message from Michele
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Re: T0324 continued part 2 [Re: JCred] #2526378
01/13/15 03:47 AM
01/13/15 03:47 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,680
Sunny Florida
T
T384 Offline OP
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T384  Offline OP
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Posts: 1,680
Sunny Florida
I won't know if he goes there unless I ask


M 31 H 34
S 6 S 9
BD 2/14 Piecing 8/14
Re: T0324 continued part 2 [Re: T384] #2526381
01/13/15 03:56 AM
01/13/15 03:56 AM
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,433
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Train Offline
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Train  Offline
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Wait to see what he does tomorrow.

Or at least wait to see how you feel tomorrow.

Just wait until tomorrow.

And don't say anything until you've come here to "dump" first.

Can you agree to that, T0?


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
Re: T0324 continued part 2 [Re: Train] #2526384
01/13/15 03:58 AM
01/13/15 03:58 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,680
Sunny Florida
T
T384 Offline OP
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T384  Offline OP
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Posts: 1,680
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Yes. I've been in bed and he's been on the couch. I told you the only interaction we had was him saying goodnight to the boys and ignoring me. Me saying goodnight H.

I will wait until tomorrow

I can guarantee he won't say anything. That's why he told me this via text while I was at work. To avoid confrontation. He won't bring it up again. I will just be waiting to hear from my lawyer or his and him to leave.

My gut leads me well.

Last edited by T0324; 01/13/15 03:59 AM.

M 31 H 34
S 6 S 9
BD 2/14 Piecing 8/14
Re: T0324 continued part 2 [Re: Train] #2526385
01/13/15 04:01 AM
01/13/15 04:01 AM
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Train Offline
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THIS is why you need strong intel and a full transparency plan *as soon as they come back*.

But lacking that - even though, okay, you shouldn't have put yourself in that position - you CAN find out if he goes there tomorrow if you want to (and without asking him). You're a smart cookie and can find out anything you want to, if you really WANT to.

(And if it's a non-negotiable for you, then you SHOULD find out if he's there. But you know the consequences for stating a non-negotiable ... or for "sliding" on one ... )


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
Re: T0324 continued part 2 [Re: Train] #2526443
01/13/15 12:24 PM
01/13/15 12:24 PM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
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gan Offline
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Wishing you BIG HUGS today T0 as I am off to bed. I hope you managed to get some zzzz. Train has given you some very sage advice and I am sure she and everyone else will help you get through this. Remember to breathe......


H 37 Me 36
Together 15 years
Married 5 years
No kids
BD Apr 2014
H moved out 2 Jun 2014
Re: T0324 continued part 2 [Re: gan] #2526452
01/13/15 01:16 PM
01/13/15 01:16 PM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,680
Sunny Florida
T
T384 Offline OP
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T384  Offline OP
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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,680
Sunny Florida
Thank you everyone. Thank you for last night.

No news here ... H slept on the couch and we had no interaction besides me saying good night.

Trying to figure out my next move. I don't want ad but I also don't believe me conceding to his wants will be fruitful for me either.

I'm tired of this. I am just tired period. I don't want to go back to the life the boys and I lived without him. I want him to be fighting for us not against us

Again, thanks for listening to me ramble.


M 31 H 34
S 6 S 9
BD 2/14 Piecing 8/14
Re: T0324 continued part 2 [Re: Train] #2526589
01/13/15 06:13 PM
01/13/15 06:13 PM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
CA- now East coast
2
25yearsmlc Offline
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Originally Posted By: Train
THIS is why you need strong intel and a full transparency plan *as soon as they come back*.

But lacking that - even though, okay, you shouldn't have put yourself in that position - you CAN find out if he goes there tomorrow if you want to (and without asking him). You're a smart cookie and can find out anything you want to, if you really WANT to.

(And if it's a non-negotiable for you, then you SHOULD find out if he's there.
But you know the consequences for stating a non-negotiable ... or for "sliding" on one ... )


Whereas DB usually advises against snooping, this^^ is the exception.

Meaning, if you KNOW that a specific behavior will absolutely mean a divorce,

then it seems like something you would want to verify.


IF not, then there are valid reasons Not to snoop...and just become the better choice; i.e. a woman only a fool would leave.

But issuing another ultimatum will fall on deaf ears. And as Train said, the more you repeat your wants that he already knows, and the more you repeat your boundaries, the less powerful they'll look.

It sounds as if an affair at this point, is a deal breaker. I totally get that.

What do you think?

IOW, Given the givens, (= no option is very appealing)

what do you want to know and or, do? And, are you ready?


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
Re: T0324 continued part 2 [Re: 25yearsmlc] #2526606
01/13/15 07:05 PM
01/13/15 07:05 PM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,680
Sunny Florida
T
T384 Offline OP
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T384  Offline OP
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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,680
Sunny Florida
Hey 25

I made a new thread I think this one will lock soon

I don't want a D BUT I do not want this M. I don't want to be married to who he is right now


M 31 H 34
S 6 S 9
BD 2/14 Piecing 8/14
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