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UpperCu Offline OP
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Haven't responded and got another text:

"Upppppppper. Why am I getting the silent treatment? It's starting to worry me...."

Obviously she wasn't just texting about the credit card.

My guess is she's really thinking "is H still my plan B?"

Silence = NO I'm not your plan B. I'm busy and I'm moving on with my life.

My guess is the next text will consist of spew.


UpperCut
Me: 28 W: 25
Married: 4 yrs Together: 7 yrs
Dday: 9/14 (W ends affair & comes home)
S: 12/14 (W restarted affair 1/15; moved near OM 2/15)
No kids
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
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Originally Posted By: UpperCu
W broke the silence after 10 days of no contact. She text me asking about when a credit card is due which she agreed to begin paying on. I gave her the most recent statement last week so she has the info. She is out of town for the next month so I assume she didn't bring the bill with her. Durrrr.

Looks like she blocked me on one of the social media sites tonight too.

So she is thinking about me tonight, and they probably aren't good thoughts.

I dont plan to respond to this one.



Good instincts. smirk


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
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UpperCu Offline OP
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I ended up texting my W back the other night to let her know I'd made a payment in the credit card she was asking about. I'd bought a plane ticket on it and told her I'd pay for that portion of the remaining balance.

She responded apologizing for pestering me and thanking me for the response.

Then while I was praying for her yesterday, she randomly text me about her holiday travel plans. Maybe it was an accident that she sent me that, as the text didn't really make sense as part of our credit card convo and I hadn't asked what she was up to. I didn't respond.

She has been on my mind a lot today and I've been praying for her and our sitch.

My prayer right now is this:

"Lord, thank you for the strength you've give me. I trust you are continuing to work in me to make me a strong, independent, and stable man. I trust that you are in W's face right now, confronting her on her sin, a place where I cannot and should not be right now. She is YOUR creation to work on and what I'm praying for is work only you can do. I know you work things according to your own plans and I submit the outcome of our sitch to you. You have heard my pleas for our M to be made whole again, for our R to be restored, and for W to have the strength and desire to keep her vows to me. But I know I'm going to be okay if that doesn't happen because you will provide for me what I need, even if it is something I cannot see now. I trust you will provide for me good things if I obey and rest in your comfort. Thank you father for the peace you lavish over me each day. Thank you for the beautiful aspects of life you have shown me over the past few months. I really was lost in my M and I now see that I CAN have an identity in you outside of my M, or inside my M, or in a new M, if that is your will. Please continue to carry me along through each day. I'm poor and needy and your word and your righteousness sustains me God."


UpperCut
Me: 28 W: 25
Married: 4 yrs Together: 7 yrs
Dday: 9/14 (W ends affair & comes home)
S: 12/14 (W restarted affair 1/15; moved near OM 2/15)
No kids
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,807
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I will pray for you too.


Was made a better person by DB'ers
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UpperCu Offline OP
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Thanks NAJ.


UpperCut
Me: 28 W: 25
Married: 4 yrs Together: 7 yrs
Dday: 9/14 (W ends affair & comes home)
S: 12/14 (W restarted affair 1/15; moved near OM 2/15)
No kids
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 29
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In Jesus mighty name, i receive that prayer for my situation as well, Amen

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UpperCu Offline OP
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Made it through Christmas Day without contacting W. She was on my mind like crazy all day, but I'm staying dark right now, so I had to tough it out. W and I usually split Christmas eve/Christmas Day between both families. This year I just spent time with my mom and dad. Picked up a new hobby recently that my dad is also into - gun collecting/building. Spent the day target shooting and learning to build AR-15 rifles. Fun stuff!

Day was pretty good, but with W on my mind, and Intel revealing she has continued to stalk OM's profile online today, it hurt my PMA throughout most of the day. smirk But, as I write, it looks like W just recently looked up my mom online. Prob to see my moms pics of our day, and there is a good pic of my smiling face on the front of mom's page (W and I are no longer friends online)

And... there is now a morsel of hope that she had me on her mind too.

Baby steps.


UpperCut
Me: 28 W: 25
Married: 4 yrs Together: 7 yrs
Dday: 9/14 (W ends affair & comes home)
S: 12/14 (W restarted affair 1/15; moved near OM 2/15)
No kids
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 786
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UC, you need to ditch the Intel right now. I used to look at the joint checking account and cell phone logs (could only see calls not texts) multiple times per day. It didn't do anything but bring down my spirit. As long as she can't hurt you financially then not looking at this stuff will help you detach.


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction



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UpperCu Offline OP
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Calling Starsky!

I'm hijacking my own thread. MVG over in newcomers needs some help growing a spine and setting boundaries. WAW is meeting with attys & is threatening to file for D one month after DDay and she is in an active affair... Right up your alley.

Here he is: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2520174&page=2


UpperCut
Me: 28 W: 25
Married: 4 yrs Together: 7 yrs
Dday: 9/14 (W ends affair & comes home)
S: 12/14 (W restarted affair 1/15; moved near OM 2/15)
No kids
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 561
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Hey UpperCut,
Finally read through your story. It's a tough one, because it's very hurtful if a person we love is moving to the "dark side". Part of growing up I guess and you got to have so much endurance, I can't even imagine.
I hope your new year will bring more happiness to you and I'll pray for your wife. And since recently I didn't pray in 20 years.

Regarding the drug use possibility:
It sounds like she's going through the things a teenager/young adult will go through.
I wouldn't over rate the pot use, it's for sure better than drinking. The adderall might have caused weight loss because you lose a lot of appetite. The pot will cause munchies on the other hand, and red eyes plus munchies is a clear sign she smoked weed but then you should be able to smell it at some point, or she's very smart covering it up.. Adderall is very bad for you, it's basically speed.
It's hard to give advice, seems like you are in a situation of a parent rather than a husband. If she is losing more weight be alert. Weight loss is a sign of using too much Adderall plus her mental issues and the stress too.
Just stay alert and if things get weirder seek some advice from an expert how to deal with this. Drugs can't be the solution, ever.
Speaking from experience, my own when I tried to figure out who I am wink


Me 32 (German) Wife 28
T 3yrs M 2yrs
Moved to US for W
No kids
BD 6/2014
In house separation
Confirmed EA 1/2015
(ongoing since BD)
OM not ready
Real D talk started 1/27/15


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