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I have been reading your posts. I am very sorry that your relationship turned out the way it did Little. You sound like a much better and more mature person than your BF.

I have faith you will survive and do even better in your next relationship. You have made a lot of insight into your psyche and that is a good thing.


Was made a better person by DB'ers
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Originally Posted By: NAJ1964
I have been reading your posts. I am very sorry that your relationship turned out the way it did Little. You sound like a much better and more mature person than your BF.

I have faith you will survive and do even better in your next relationship. You have made a lot of insight into your psyche and that is a good thing.


Thanks. I've been delving into fixing myself, up to and including trying to get my detachment techniques from Buddhism. "Be here now" and all that.


Originally Posted By: u-turn
HOW COULD SOMEONE TREAT SOMEONE ELSE LIKE THIS"

I'm sure, even if he explained it to you, it probably would not make sense or be of any comfort.

Yuck


This. I know it. It's hard when you're intellectual and constantly seeking answers and solutions. I have to accept that there are some things I can't control, won't know the answer to, or don't make sense. And be okay with them.


ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
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Hey Little! I just wanted to say congrats on the new place! I just moved into a new place myself and it is fun decorating and organizing just how you like it. And as Ganb8te said earlier, it also seems to help with the "moving on" bit so to speak.

I'm not really a girlie girl but I want to make my bedroom all pink and fluffy because I can! And it's satisfying to carry heavy stuff and build furniture and drill holes and hang lights - all by myself. Well, it's not exactly fun but when it is all done and I did it myself I will be proud.

And someday maybe I will have my WAH over, if he is nice, and he will gasp at how amazing I am. Or not. Who cares, he's an a-hole.

Hugs to you and congrats again!

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LISA!!! I was reading your reply as I sipped my coffee and literally spit it out while laughing at "Or not. Who cares, he's an a-hole." ROFL! You got it, chicky!

I bought all new bed stuff when I moved out of my apartment with BF. Purples and colors I like. BF has a slight hoarding problem; not like you'd see on the scary TV shows, but he's very attached to "things" and has more than one of nearly everything. We had 16 guitars and two amplifiers in our living room (not an exaggeration!) and he's not even a musician. He can't play the guitar other than strumming to make noise. With those habits, our apartment never really felt like home because there was no room for my things to be woven into the scenery. It will be good to have total control over my environment and let MY whims dictate the space I live in! No more clutter if I don't want it! WHOOO!

You guys, I wish we could all go GAL together. Your support here has been invaluable to me moving on. Even if I'm just blabbing about a new apartment.


ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
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Are you going all minimalist then?


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
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WELL, seeing as the only thing I took with me when I left was bedroom furniture and my computer desk, I guess yes. But not on purpose. ROFL.

Since the kitchen is upstairs and a shared space, I only need to purchase a couch and maybe a living room chair of some sort.

BUT, the good news is that I can arrange everything I do buy to my tastes and I can be more decorative than the other apartment, which fell toward "every available inch of space has something in it."


ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
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Posts: 471
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I found a funny little Santa picture on Facebook that's filled with potty humor. I want to text it to BF, because he'd find it hilarious, but I'm resisting.

He's made it clear he doesn't want to talk to me and I should stay dark anyway.

Stupid twitchy fingers.


ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
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Originally Posted By: Little
I feel weird here too. BF is not going to want to R with me in the future. Can I stay?



As long as you need to and want to. Its not weird to want to put your life together and learning the DB principles moves you to the next phase.

Besides we love having you around

Vanilla


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Thanks, Vanilla, I like being here! Isn't the saying that DB is for "you" (us?) and not the WAS? YAY!

While the logical side of me knows that BF has made his choice and will never want to R with me again, the hopeful mushy heart of me hopes that some day we'll have another chance and no one knows what will happen or how they will feel in the future -- not even BF.

But I'm disgusted by his choices and actions right now. I want no part of that man. For us to EVER R again, he'd have to be split from OW, WANT to R, AND be willing to work on himself, so that we could successfully work on the OTHER chit we need to work on. I'm working on ME. THAT would take a miracle.

Which I'm typing out to remind myself of. :P


ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
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Little

That would make a great poster for your wall.

Split from OW
Want an R
Work on himself whilst I work on me.


We could do place mats, t shirts and car bumper stickers as well.
Sounds like a real buy in plan.
Getting with the merchandising at ground level, we could make a lot of LBS very happy.

Vanilla


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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