Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 5 of 11 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 10 11
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
UC,

I am sorry to read about this. Just let her go and do your thing. Yes, I think it is wise to proceed with drawing up a SA soon to protect your own financial interests.

Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 177
U
UpperCu Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
U
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 177
Intel from a recent convo W had with one of her friends is worth a look...

"i'm leaving H because i stopped loving him the way he loved me. and i just wasn't in a place where i should be married. and, i wasn't acting like i was married. lots of problems."

Sounds like we didn't have "lots of problems," apart from the fact that her feelings changed and she is chasing them wherever they will lead her.


UpperCut
Me: 28 W: 25
Married: 4 yrs Together: 7 yrs
Dday: 9/14 (W ends affair & comes home)
S: 12/14 (W restarted affair 1/15; moved near OM 2/15)
No kids
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 177
U
UpperCu Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
U
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 177
Starsky, I may need your creativity on my next move.

I'm heeding to the advice to go pitch black and also proceed with the S agreement. W left her stuff at the house with plans to pick up in late January at her convenience. She also asked that the locks not be changed, but I told her that was up to me once she moved out and that if she were to visit she would need to call in advance to schedule a time that worked for me.

My plan, to avoid contact with W, is to have the attorney make all contact with W for the remaining items we need to be in contact regarding: transfer of cash for sold vehicle, her signing the S agreement, and I plan to move all her stuff to a storage unit and have the atty give her the key. Then when she calls or texts to freak out on me, no response, just darkness. Thoughts?


UpperCut
Me: 28 W: 25
Married: 4 yrs Together: 7 yrs
Dday: 9/14 (W ends affair & comes home)
S: 12/14 (W restarted affair 1/15; moved near OM 2/15)
No kids
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
I agree. Having a trusted third party act as intermediary helps keep the emotions out of it, and helps protect your heart.


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 177
U
UpperCu Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
U
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 177
W changed her name on one of her social media profiles back to her maiden name.

Here comes the publicity...


UpperCut
Me: 28 W: 25
Married: 4 yrs Together: 7 yrs
Dday: 9/14 (W ends affair & comes home)
S: 12/14 (W restarted affair 1/15; moved near OM 2/15)
No kids
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,104
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,104
Geez. So dumb. Like that erases everything.


Me 47 - W 35
M 9 - T 10
2 Daughters - 7 & 9
Discovery of EA- 8/4/14
S - 8/5/15
D mentioned - 9/11/14
R & Piecing - 3/17/15
Regard one another as more important than yourselves.
- Philippians 2:3
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
CALLING STARSKY....could you please help out UC as he's asked for your guidance? Thanks much. smile

Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
Originally Posted By: Wonka
CALLING STARSKY....could you please help out UC as he's asked for your guidance? Thanks much. smile


I already answered him, above ?? confused


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
Hey UC,

How are you doing? What's happening with you lately?

Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 177
U
UpperCu Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
U
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 177
Hey Wonka, thanks for checking in. I have been in the weeds at work this past week. Weekend has been good, a friend and I got a good workout in this morning and then we played some basketball this afternoon. We are planning to work out in the mornings a few times each week and we are on a church basketball team so games are starting up next week also. Had dinner with a few close friends tonight. I live a long way from my family so I'm fortunate that I have a great network of friends through my church.

I have had little contact with W, but the other day I did text her to coordinate a meeting with a mediator to discuss terms of our SA prior to meeting with the atty to draft the agreement. That's scheduled for Thursday of next week. She also had lost her credit card at the bar the other week so she has been checking in to see if it has shown up in the mailbox at the house.

I changed the locks on the house earlier this week. Have been too busy to deal with moving any of her stuff. I have been buying stuff for the house to replenish what W is taking: dishes, silverware, glasses, decorations, furniture, etc.

After next week she will be out of town for a month for school related training, a conference, and visiting family/friends for the holidays. She may cross paths with OM at some point during that time...

Basically just been focusing on myself and staying pretty dark. Life is good.


UpperCut
Me: 28 W: 25
Married: 4 yrs Together: 7 yrs
Dday: 9/14 (W ends affair & comes home)
S: 12/14 (W restarted affair 1/15; moved near OM 2/15)
No kids
Page 5 of 11 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 10 11

Moderated by  Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard