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Originally Posted By: LisaB
Maybe she was the fiancee stealing OW...hmmm.... wink


This never occurred to me. Thank you so much for that perspective. Seriously, that's...wow. I feel silly.

Who knows, in the end, but you're right. Grain of salt.


ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
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Originally Posted By: Little
Stopped by a liquor store today to get some booze. I don't often drink and find that alcohol in and of itself is gross. I like "girly" drinks if they're made so I can't taste the alcohol.

Anyway, I was talking to the clerk about how I was just out of a long relationship and wanted to do a little drinking with "the girls", and asked what she'd recommend. She pointed me in the direction of some mango pineapple flavored vodka and then told me the story of how her husband kept bringing up his ex-fiance very frequently and in the end he left her to go back to said ex-fiance.

I'm starting to feel like there are no stories of people working out relationships and going from crisis to "we're stable now and it was so worth it". All I hear are stories of cheating, lying, putting people's own feelings and the desires of the moment first.

It makes me sad.



For those of us who do reconcile, most of us don't come back to sites like these to recall the hardest or worst times of our lives. And it's not easy to revisit so many things that remind me of it.

My point is that you are hardly getting a representative sampling. I DO know several happily married couples and some semi happy couples.

Mind you, a lot o individuals are not very happy people, so I am not sure how much of it is relationships or marriages, or just how our society can be a bit depressive or negatively programmed.

No, everything is not perfect in my life OR my marriage, But yes, making it is worth it.


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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Little,

why didn't you two ever marry? Sorry if you explained this already &I missed it, but your comment about a lack of commitment seems a tiny bit ironic, given that you yourself never married.

Did you ever want to? If not, why not? Do you now, someday want to?

Last edited by 25yearsmlc; 11/02/14 01:55 AM.

M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 3,500
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Thank you, 25, for saying it's worth it. Sometimes I doubt that.


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
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Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
Little,

why didn't you two ever marry? Sorry if you explained this already &I missed it, but your comment about a lack of commitment seems a tiny bit ironic, given that you yourself never married.

Did you ever want to? If not, why not? Do you now, someday want to?



He was engaged before to a woman who would never set a date. He asked her to marry him, she said yes, and the years dragged on without a date set and no marriage forth-coming.

After they broke up, he decided marriage wasn't for him and he didn't want to marry ANYONE, ever. He just didn't feel it was necessary to a committed relationship.

I'm a "take it or leave it" kind of a woman. That is, I don't need a marriage to feel content and secure in a relationship. If he had asked me, I would have said yes without hesitation, but it didn't bother me he didn't want to be married. It wasn't something I needed.


ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,011
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Maybell,
I want to add my words of encouragement to those of my dear friend 25MLC. It is ABSOLUTELY worth it. I say that even though there have been (continue to be) challenges even since we began reconciliation 7 years ago. As MLC said, I don't often come back here other than to encourage others. Even though our marriage has been way better BECAUSE of our struggles during that time, it is still painful to put myself back in the middle of the emotions I felt during that time. I am amazed and so grateful that 25MLC has remained committed to helping others through this terribly difficult process. Best wishes to you and your BF that you can work through this!


Praising God Daily, Remaining "FaithfulH"
Me: 62
W: 62
D:33 S:30 & 31
Married: 40 Years
BD: Sep 2006
Piecing: May 2007
2nd BD: May 2014
Working On It: Today
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OK, I'm adding FaithfulH to my list of success stories.

Crimson - ?
Labug - March 2011 to December 2013
Train - reconciled in 2014
HopefulStill - reconciled in 2012
Starsky309 - reconciled after dated another woman
minkerman - Reconciled in 2008 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2310037&page=1
FaithfulH - Reconciled in 2007 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2503128#Post2503128
sandi2 - ?
25yearsmlc - 2005 to August 2008 (signature)

If you have the link to their story, let me know. I really wish we had room in our profile to tell our story so that the vets and other successes could give us a quick summary! But in the meantime, if you follow the posts, you'll see that all of them had truly detached, almost given up when the reconciliation happened. Also, at least two of them waited almost 3 years.


M39 D6 D3 (at S)
S 2014-09
D 2016-09

"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
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thanks, that's really helpful.


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 471
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Mozzarella! Awesome! Thanks! smile


ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 471
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Little Offline OP
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Posts: 471
I replied to that on my phone and just now realized it auto-corrected "Mozza" to "Mozzarella". Sorry about that. LOL


ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
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