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A Message from Michele
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Need help. Jefe's confused pt 4 #2502415
10/31/14 12:25 AM
10/31/14 12:25 AM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,102
Dallas, TX
J
Jefe Online OP
Member
Jefe  Online OP
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,102
Dallas, TX


Me 47 - W 35
M 9 - T 10
2 Daughters - 7 & 9
Discovery of EA- 8/4/14
S - 8/5/15
D mentioned - 9/11/14
R & Piecing - 3/17/15
Regard one another as more important than yourselves.
- Philippians 2:3
Re: Need help. Jefe's confused pt 4 [Re: Jefe] #2502419
10/31/14 12:29 AM
10/31/14 12:29 AM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,102
Dallas, TX
J
Jefe Online OP
Member
Jefe  Online OP
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,102
Dallas, TX
Originally Posted By: Jefe

Ok, opportunity presented itself today for me to talk to the wife. We were having a little bit of a sweet moment on the phone and I told her that I knew how important om1 and d7's relationship was to her. I told her I understood what she was trying to do and that I wanted to move that direction and maybe more. I said I don't want to fight about om1 ever again. It's just not worth it.

I prayed and prayed about what I was supposed to say and that God would help me form the words and present an opportunity for me to say it and for her to hear it. God delivered in less than an hour. My wife received it well.

Hope,I do love my wife like that I just need to get a whole lot better at showing it. This makes me so uncomfortable to make the phone call that I made but I know it's what's right for my wife.

Originally Posted By: Jefe

I just went back through our portraits spanning the years since D7 was born and gathered several poses from each year and made him a package. I can't believe I just did that.

Hope, after you got done tearing me a new one, I turned Joyce Meyer on and her message basically hit me between the eyes as well.

7 times 70 times, right?

Originally Posted By: Hope

Jefe,

Did you just say you made OM1 a package of photos of D7 spanning every year from when she was born until now?

If this is what you did...this is an amazingly unselfish act of empathy to the biological father. Especially knowing how you feel about him.

I can't imagine how difficult this was for you.

Wow.

70 x 700.

Originally Posted By: Jefe

Yes, that is what I said. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. I was guided and led, that's all I can say.

They are supposed to go visit that family next weekend at the park. I'll send them then. I haven't told my wife yet. I figure I'll tell her when I give them to her.


By the way, forgot to mention. She was off today and stopped by the house to start some of her laundry and LOTS of little acts of service all over the place here and elsewhere. Crazy.

I mirrored.


Me 47 - W 35
M 9 - T 10
2 Daughters - 7 & 9
Discovery of EA- 8/4/14
S - 8/5/15
D mentioned - 9/11/14
R & Piecing - 3/17/15
Regard one another as more important than yourselves.
- Philippians 2:3
Re: Need help. Jefe's confused pt 4 [Re: Jefe] #2502449
10/31/14 02:40 AM
10/31/14 02:40 AM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,516
California US
C
CaliGuy Offline
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CaliGuy  Offline
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C
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,516
California US
Jefe

Thats an amazing act of kindness ... THAT is what a true Christian would do .. and it paints you into being a very strong individual. This is an excellent move


M: 44
W: 44
M16 T26-S8
BD Sept13



Re: Need help. Jefe's confused pt 4 [Re: CaliGuy] #2502450
10/31/14 02:41 AM
10/31/14 02:41 AM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,102
Dallas, TX
J
Jefe Online OP
Member
Jefe  Online OP
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,102
Dallas, TX
I don't feel strong.

Thank you, CG. I value your support more than you know.


Me 47 - W 35
M 9 - T 10
2 Daughters - 7 & 9
Discovery of EA- 8/4/14
S - 8/5/15
D mentioned - 9/11/14
R & Piecing - 3/17/15
Regard one another as more important than yourselves.
- Philippians 2:3
Re: Need help. Jefe's confused pt 4 [Re: Jefe] #2502481
10/31/14 03:59 AM
10/31/14 03:59 AM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 485
Ontario, Canada
P
PeterV2 Offline
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PeterV2  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 485
Ontario, Canada
I see some growth happening here. Good move.


M: 59 W: 53
M: 9 yrs
T: 14 yrs
No kids together but D30(hers), S27, S24, D21(all 3 mine)
W moved out 11/18/2013
D-Day 12/14/2013
W moved back home 12/1/2014
Re: Need help. Jefe's confused pt 4 [Re: PeterV2] #2502485
10/31/14 04:08 AM
10/31/14 04:08 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 177
U
UpperCu Offline
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UpperCu  Offline
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U
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 177
Sounds like you're going strong. You'll continue to slip up sometimes, I do often, but remember to dust yourself off and get back up. You've got momentum based on reality and a clear mind focused on yourself.

The affair fog is based on fantasy and can't hold up forever....

Proverbs 24:16 for the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.


UpperCut
Me: 28 W: 25
Married: 4 yrs Together: 7 yrs
Dday: 9/14 (W ends affair & comes home)
S: 12/14 (W restarted affair 1/15; moved near OM 2/15)
No kids
Re: Need help. Jefe's confused pt 4 [Re: UpperCu] #2502489
10/31/14 04:11 AM
10/31/14 04:11 AM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,102
Dallas, TX
J
Jefe Online OP
Member
Jefe  Online OP
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,102
Dallas, TX
"Proverbs 24:16 for the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.".

Wow, that's a good one and one that I am not that familiar with and I've read Proverbs many times.

Good job.


Me 47 - W 35
M 9 - T 10
2 Daughters - 7 & 9
Discovery of EA- 8/4/14
S - 8/5/15
D mentioned - 9/11/14
R & Piecing - 3/17/15
Regard one another as more important than yourselves.
- Philippians 2:3
Re: Need help. Jefe's confused pt 4 [Re: Jefe] #2502559
10/31/14 01:36 PM
10/31/14 01:36 PM
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 151
F
FunDad Offline
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FunDad  Offline
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F
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 151

Hey Jefe - Someone at church recently told me that I've been a source of inspiration to others. He said that I have stood up like a wall. I see the same thing in you. But - I know it's our savior standing us up, so we can be strong in him. Keep giving it over to him when you feel weak.


Me:40
W:39
M:Dec 95
Split: Jul 14
W Filed: 9/16/14
Several Children
(including adopted)
Re: Need help. Jefe's confused pt 4 [Re: FunDad] #2502591
10/31/14 03:19 PM
10/31/14 03:19 PM
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 216
USA
N
Nitty Offline
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Nitty  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 216
USA
Jefe, you called me "strong" but whoa, I think you're doing way better than I am! That was a true agape action and showed great strength of character.

UpperCut, what a wonderful verse! I never saw that before. Thank you for that!


M:54, H:55
T:33, M:27
12/13 BD: EA
01/14 BD: PA, H leaves
03/14 H & OW break up
05/14 H says he will file for D
08/14 H initiates D
09/14 H wants to R
12/14 Still bungling our way through R
Re: Need help. Jefe's confused pt 4 [Re: Nitty] #2502620
10/31/14 04:04 PM
10/31/14 04:04 PM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,102
Dallas, TX
J
Jefe Online OP
Member
Jefe  Online OP
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,102
Dallas, TX
Thank you guys.

It's not me. God's got this. I'm just along for the ride at the moment.


Me 47 - W 35
M 9 - T 10
2 Daughters - 7 & 9
Discovery of EA- 8/4/14
S - 8/5/15
D mentioned - 9/11/14
R & Piecing - 3/17/15
Regard one another as more important than yourselves.
- Philippians 2:3
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