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Recommended Reading Material #2483893
09/01/14 05:32 PM
09/01/14 05:32 PM
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 246
Kentucky
A
Atsbaby Offline OP
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Atsbaby  Offline OP
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I managed to copy most of the books and authors. Don't have what the posters recommended them for, but here's a start!


Love at midlife- Richard a. Osing

Women in midlife crisis- Jim and Sally Conway

Loving solutions- Gary chapman

Winning your wife back before it's too late- Gary smalley

Renew your marriage at midlife- Steve Brody and Cathy Brody

Stop blaming start loving- bill o'hanlon and pat Hudson

Love must be tough- dr James Dobson

Grow up- dr frank Pittman

Private lies- dr frank Pittman

Love is letting go of fear- Gerald g. Jampolsky

How to heal a painful relationship- bill ferguson

How to win your lover back
Love tactics
More love tactics

After the affair-Janis spring

The lost art of listening- Michael Nichols

Nonviolent communication:a language of life- Marshall Rosenberg


Atsbaby
M:36 H:35
T: 19 M:12
S:11
D:9
BD: 5/4/14
Proof of OW 8/13/14-love note from her
8/19 admits OW
8/22/14 files D w/o telling me
9/20/14 Says he wants to reconcile
Re: Recommended Reading Material [Re: Atsbaby] #2483908
09/01/14 06:38 PM
09/01/14 06:38 PM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 27,001
Southern Maryland
job Offline

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Here are recommendations from a thread that I posted back in 2003 that are still good today:

Depression:

The Depression Source Book by Brian P. Quinn, C.S.W., Ph.D.
Understanding Depression by Raymond DePaul, Jr., M.D.
The Secret Strength of Depression by Frederic Flac
I Don't Want To Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression
by Terrence Real
Unmasking Male Depression by Archibald Hart
The Pain Behind The Mask: Overcoming Masculine Depression by John Lynch,
Christopher T. Kilmarting
The Noonday Demon, An Atlas of Depression by Andrew Solomon
Unholy Ghosts, Writers on Depression by Nell Casey
Depression, Questions You Have...Answers You Need by Sandra Salmans

Personality Disorders:

I Hate You–Don't Leave Me: Understanding Borderline Personality by Jerold J.
Kriesman, Hal Straus
Stop Walking On Eggshells by Paul T. Mason
Narcissism–Denial Of The True Self by Alexander Lowen, M.D.
Narcissism and Character Transformation, The Psychology of Narcissistic
Character Disorders by Nathan Schwartz-Salant
Malignant Self Love, Narcissism Revisited by San Vaknin, Ph.D.
Why Is It Always About You, Saving Yourself From the Narcissistic In Your Life
by Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW
Living with the Passive Aggressive Man, Coping With Hidden Aggression–From The
Bedroom to The Boardroom by Scott Wetzler, Ph.D.
Nasty People: How To Stop Being Hurt By Them Without Becoming One of Them by
Jay, Psy.D Carter
Controlling People, How To Recognize, Understand, and Deal With People Who Try
to Control You by Patricia Evans
Stop Being Manipulated by George H. Green, Ph.D., Carolyn Cotter, MBA
In Sheep's Clothing, Understanding And Dealing With Manipulative People by
George K. Simon, Jr., Ph.D.

Mid-Life Subjects:

Men in Mid-Life Crisis by James Conway
Your Husband's Mid-Life Crisis by Sally Conway
Surviving Male Menopause, A Guide For Women and Men by Jed Diamond
Male Menopause by Jed Diamond
Understanding Men's Passages by Gail Sheehy

Abusive Subjects:

Allies in Healing, When The Person You Love Was Sexually Abused As A Child by
Laura Davis
Abused Boys, The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse by Mic Hunter
Victims No Longer, Men Recovering From Incest And Other Sexual Child Abuse by
Mike Lew

Miscellaneous Subjects:

When A Mate Wants Out, Secrets for Saving a Marriage by Jim and Sally Conway
Moving On After He Moves Out by Jim and Sally Conway
Love Must Be Tough, New Hope for Families In Crisis by Dr. James C. Dobson
The Myth Of The Greener Grass, Affair-Proof Your Marriage, Restore Your Love,
Recover Your Dreams by J. Allan Petersen
Mars and Venus, The Languages of Love by John Gray, Ph.D.
After the Affair: Healing The Pain and Rebuilding Trust When A Partner Has Been
Unfaithful by Janis Abrahms, Phd Spring, Michael Spring
What About The Big Stuff, Finding Strength and Moving Forward When The Stakes
Are High by Richard Carlson, Ph.D.
Divorce Busting by Michele Weiner-Davis
Who Moved My Cheese by Spencer Johnson, M.D.
Relationship Rescue by Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D.
Solo Partner by Phil Deluca

Additional suggestions from posters:

His Needs, Her Needs How to affair proof a marriage - by Dr. Harley (works for marriages that aren't in an adultery situation too.)
How To Hug a Porcupine: Dealing with Toxic and Difficult to Love Personalities - Dr. John Lund
The Case for Marriage- Linda Waite and Maggie Gallasker
Avoiding Emotional Divorce - Dr. John Lund
Hope for the Separated: Wounded marriages can be healed - Gary Chapman
Marital Relationships Seminar - Douglas E. Brinley
Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps - Barbara Pease
Why Marriages Succeed of Fail: And How you can Make Your's Last - John M. Gottman
When Men Batter Women: New Insites into Ending Abusive Relationships - John M. Gottman
The Marriage Clinic: A Scientifically Based Marital Therapy - John M. Gottman
Torn Asunder: Recovering from Extramarital Affairs, by Dave Carder
Getting Back Together: How to Create a New Loving Relationship With Your Old
Partner and Make It Last, by Masa Goetz
"Sacred Contracts. Awakening your Divine Potential" by Caroline Myss
"Anatomy of the Spirit" by Caroline Myss

Re: Recommended Reading Material [Re: job] #2483948
09/01/14 08:35 PM
09/01/14 08:35 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,089
NY
Cadet Offline

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NY
Thanks for starting this thread as it is needed.

Here is a link from a newcomers thread which highlights some of the discussion from the old MLC thread.

Suggested Books

I will go through my lists also to see if I have any other books to add


Me-65, D33,S32
Re: Recommended Reading Material [Re: Cadet] #2651401
02/08/16 04:00 PM
02/08/16 04:00 PM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 27,001
Southern Maryland
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Southern Maryland
^ Bumping this up. Please feel free to add additional reading material.

Re: Recommended Reading Material [Re: job] #2662128
03/13/16 08:37 AM
03/13/16 08:37 AM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 27,001
Southern Maryland
job Offline

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^Bumping this up for the newbies. There are plenty of books on the lists that will help you better understand what is going on w/your spouses/partners. If you find additional books that are not listed on this thread, please feel free to add them.

Re: Recommended Reading Material [Re: job] #2662130
03/13/16 08:45 AM
03/13/16 08:45 AM
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,301
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Sotto Offline
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Thanks Job smile

I'm going to add Daring Greatly by Brene Brown onto the list. I think it is the best thing I have read recently and her TED talks are worth watching. She looks at how to overcome shame and allow ourselves to be vulnerable in order to live wholeheartedly.

I couldn't see Codependent No More by Mellodie Beattie on the list either - I'm reading that at the moment, and it's well worth a read if you want to explore the difference between codependent relationships and healthier, independent ones.


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Re: Recommended Reading Material [Re: Sotto] #2720169
12/09/16 02:33 PM
12/09/16 02:33 PM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 27,001
Southern Maryland
job Offline

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Posts: 27,001
Southern Maryland
^Bumping this up for the newbies.

For those who may have some good book recommendations, please post them here and I'll clean up the thread in the next month or so in order for us to have a good listing of books for future reference.

Re: Recommended Reading Material [Re: job] #2727896
01/30/17 06:56 PM
01/30/17 06:56 PM
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 38
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ccgrrl Offline
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"Transitions" by William Bridges
Really is helping me understand the process of transition when a change is thrust upon you.


Me: 45 H: 47, M 23 yrs., T 27 yrs.
S6 & S13
BD: 10/23/16
11/20/16: In-house Separation
12/5/16 H goes to IC , stops confiding in me
12/29/16: Start MC
2/4/17: Trial Separation/H moves out
Re: Recommended Reading Material [Re: ccgrrl] #2775016
01/11/18 05:40 PM
01/11/18 05:40 PM
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 151
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Surv1ve Offline
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Books that I have read and gotten value out of since bomb drop

The Journey from Abandonment to Healing - Susan Anderson (huge!)
The Dance of Anger - Harriet Lerner
The Dance of Intimacy - Harriet Lerner (sort of the same but also useful)
It Takes one to Tango - wilfried riley
how to improve your marriage without talking about it - Patricia Love
The Science of Happiness - Stefan Klein
Facing Love Addiction - Giving yourself the power to change the way you love by Pia Mellody (knocked me off my feet, wanted to slam it shut and never look at it again, who is inside my head so I read it three times in a row)


BD#1: "marriage is over" 9/14/2016
H in basement 24/7 with EX/OM
BD#2: 3/20/2017 I plan to move out "soon" I LRT
me: 42, H, 41, EX/OM, 37
D 10, Son 7
M to H = 20 years
EX/OM moved in 10 years ago
Re: Recommended Reading Material [Re: Atsbaby] #2838794
02/24/19 12:24 PM
02/24/19 12:24 PM
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 567
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Grace21 Offline
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I'm adding one more per Job's suggestion.

"How to Survive Your Husband's Midlife Crisis" (Gay Courter and Pat Gaudette


M: 56
H: 57
S: 22
D: 20

H Moved out: 10/1/18
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