Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 4 of 11 1 2 3 4 5 6 10 11
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,428
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,428
Thanks Wonka. This was helpful. I typically say things like, maybe she is just tired... and that is different than asking him an open ended question.


Me 38 H 40
D 3
T 8 M 6
BD 10/2013

Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
W
Wonka Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
^^^ bump time

MODERATORS: Can we have this particular topic as a stand-alone thread right under Sandi's in the Newcomers' resource section? This way, people can click it any time for a quick reference instead of wading through Sandi's threads to get to this link.

Thanks much! smile (there's a bunch of pizza boxes coming your way as my token of appreciation)

Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 241
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 241
I like pizza. Thanks for the take away anyways...this validation sheet is such a great weapon of love to use in our daily db skirmishes. Thanks Wonka and next time, no anchovies! lol


Me 42 W:35
M: 14yrs T:15yrs
D: 8yrs D:6yrs S:3yrs
BD: "I want a D"09/03/14
Sep: 30/06/14

Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 334
E
Member
Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 334
I need to read this whole thread, but I thought of this last night as H was going through script:

"My car doesn't work, my body doesn't work...."

My first response was not appropriate, "But I see...."

and then I remembered this and said, "It must feel frustrating to feel like everything around you is breaking down."

Gotta practice!

Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
W
Wonka Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
Bearing down right at ya in my neon-pink bumper car...watch out!!!

Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 370
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 370
Holy moly! Thank you Wonka for bumping this thread. I'm having dinner with my WAW tonight and absolutely needed these tips!!!


M: 15 years
BD: 6/25/14
EA/PA: starts 5/14/14
11/30/14 - A ends
5/15/15 - D is finalized.
11/28/15 - Start of new LTR with a wonderful woman (and still going strong)!
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,106
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,106
Originally Posted By: Wonka
Bearing down right at ya in my neon-pink bumper car...watch out!!!

Oh my!


M: 57 / EW: 52
T: 21, M: 8
S: 18, S: 15
Bomb: 1 Jun 14
EA Aug 2014 I think
PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 288
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 288
Quote:
"I am sorry that you feel that way"


Please be careful using this phrase. I have seen many people get offended when hearing this. It can come off as sounding like you just read a book on how to validate. It can come across like you still think you are right and they are wrong in what they feel.

Remember.. Michelle says the medium is the message.


Justin Credible
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 273
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 273
This list is very helpful after you've done the 180's for a while. W a W begins to talk more about her feelings and every day things. Just be careful to not use too many of these in conversation as you don't want to sound like you're simply reciting things from a textbook. That being said this is a fantastic list and should have a sticky on it in the newcomers area. I know it can be found elsewhere on this form, but it is really needed here.


Me43/WAW43..M 4y..S1 11/S2 4..Bomb2/2014..Dfile 5/2014..Settlement signed 8/20/14..D final 8/29/14
I moved out 10/10/14..WAW got D she wanted. I wanted R. No waiting,just no boundaries in her way.
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
W
Wonka Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
George Clooney is now a married man!

Good I have your attention....it's bump time.

Validate away to your hearts' content. grin

Page 4 of 11 1 2 3 4 5 6 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard