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Hi Thorn! Just getting caught up on things with you and all I can say is WOW! I am SO HAPPY for you my friend! This is really great news to read! I pray everything goes nice and slow and smoothly for you my friend! So nice to read this! Bravo!


ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
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Thorn, I have really been reading your thread. Lots of good moments and openness. I hope to learn some to put toward my stitch good luck in the date, and keep it up. No matter what you seem to be a better person than when this all started and gives us all hope we can be better too!!!


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Originally Posted By: labug
Originally Posted By: Thornton
Thank you all for the kind words, it's much appreciated.

I will be meeting WAW for the very first time since bomb on Friday for lunch. She asked me out! smile

She asked me to meet her for lunch today but I had meetings at work and politely declined.

We are still taking things really slow. We are flirting with each other like when we first met and I am letting her initiate contact about 75% of the time. I don't want to appear to be too eager. As time passes, I will slowly begin to balance it out.

Please note, I am NOT a veteran and I am FAR from truly piecing but I would like to share some things that seemed to help me. I hope you all can take something from this.

1. I went STRICT NC on the advice of the vets. I listened to everything the vets told me to do. Not once did I deviate. It was incredibly hard for me do. NC for me was exactly 30 days until she texted me about picking up her things from my house. I acted friendly and didn't fight her on it or ask questions. I finally initiated a text with her for the first time in week 7. It was friendly and I teased her.

2. I attended therapy and still am.

3. I prayed every night before I went to bed. First I thanked God for things I DID have (my family, my job, my daughter, my car). I also asked him to give me signs (good or bad) that I was moving in the right direction. Finally I asked him to restore my relationship if it was in HIS will. I continue to pray every night and thank him for the good things happening in my life.

4. I tried to help others on this board as opposed to only posting about my sitch all the time. It was cathartic for me and still is, hence this post.

5. When I did have contact with WAW, I always made sure to end the convo first. This was hard because I could text/talk to her for hours. I missed her so incredibly much.

6. I read Divorce Remedy about 30 times, lol.

7. Anytime I felt down, I would post here to vent. Anytime I felt like doing something crazy (pursuit), I would post here first and let people talk me off the ledge.

8. When the timing was right for me, I took a risk and contacted her. This was really scary for me as I was worried about backsliding and ruining things.

9. I listened to my mom when she told me "Let your faith be bigger than your fear". That was my mantra and I had to repeat it to myself 500x a day.

Thank you all for your support.

Thornton


Now we can have Thorn's 9 Rules.


Hey Thorn I am new to your thread. I was kind of to wrapped up in my stitch and was not paying attention to others. But decided I really needed to look and see what other folks are doing.

I especially like your moms quote:
"9. I listened to my mom when she told me "Let your faith be bigger than your fear". "

Anyhow unlike you my wife moved back on her own and sleeps in my bed. She just had run off to the OM country once before she came home and then once after.
Now he's coming to the USA and she plans on seeing him during daylight only in public as a friend!

I think that I am going to read your 9 rules above and your mothers quote over and over again on the days she is seeing him.

Glad I found your thread and glad things are going in the right direction!

Last edited by Oxford1; 07/11/14 06:17 PM.

W 53 H 51, S 16, S 21
33 years M 28
DD 3 Feb 11, 2014
S21 and His Fiancée move in with us 8/14
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...965#Post2477965
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Thorn,

Waiting with bated breath for the debrief!! wink

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Thank you all for your support!

Just got back from lunch with WAW!

I was a little nervous seeing her but that quickly went away when she walked out of the door from her work place.

She's BEAUTIFUL! She walked up and hugged me and kept hugging me. In fact, she didn't want to let go and she was hugging me so tightly. She looked like she was going to cry from the emotion.

I told her how good it was to see her again (its been 9 weeks). She mirrored that and said how happy she was to see me as well.

We walked over to a restaurant for lunch and made small talk. She kept staring at me and blushing, it was obvious she was nervous. It felt very similar to being on a blind date.

I kept it light and fluffy and made sure when she spoke, I looked her in the eyes and STFU and really listened. We were flirty and started joking around. She kept telling me that her new apartment was right off the freeway and that it would be easy for us to see each other while we dated. She also dropped lots of hints about us in the future.

After lunch, I walked her back to her work. She pulled me in for another long hug and wouldn't let go. It came time to say goodbye and I could tell she wanted to kiss me but was hesitant. I went for it. Gave her little kiss on the lips. As soon as I did that, she grabbed me and pulled me in, wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly and kept kissing me. ELECTRIC is the only way to describe it. It was exactly like our very first kiss!

We said our goodbyes and I drove off. 5 minutes later I get a text from her "my cheeks are warm :)" I responded I felt the same way.

She appears to be the pursuer at this point! Amazing!

Fellow DBer's, thank you!

I will continue to take things slow and to remember the agony and torture I suffered as a result of all of this. I will not take this woman for granted ever again!

Keep the faith, if you listen to the vets here, you have a good shot at turning things around as well!

Make your faith bigger than your fear!

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Thor,

Doing my happy dance in my office right now!!!!!!!

Way to go, buddy!!! laugh laugh

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Wonka - you are a doll! Thank you for being such a good friend.

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thorton, I have been lurking for sometime and have followed your thread, is is awesome, take it slow!!

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My god THOR...im sooo happy for you buddy!!!! wow you really did it right my friend, you started from the get go...congrats, but remember keep up the good work but be cautious!!!!


Me: 42
W: 39
D: 2 age 6 and 9
D-Day: Dec 29 13
Seperated: 3/20/14
Mediation retainer : 5/20/14
She filed: 06/25/14
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WTG Thorn,

Happy that it went well for you today. Im sure your emotions are beyond words right now. Keep up what youre doing. Youre an inspiration for everyone on here.


M:33
W:30
T:10 M:2
B/D: 5/27/14
S: 5/28/14
Wife moved back in 7/18/14
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