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KdogGS Offline OP
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I'd be curious to hear the thoughts on reaching out to XW at this point, especially after her episode for what my attorney thought would be a simple property exchange.

I mean, was it really about the bullets and her not feeling safe about my mental state? I could buy those anywhere if she really felt I was plotting something against her. Or was that just what she picked as her reason?

Would you reach out to her and if so how would you go about it?

My thought is to keep no contact unless someone has another example or thoughts on the matter.

Last edited by KdogGS; 05/31/14 04:00 PM. Reason: XW

H: 29
WAXW: 30

Bomb Drop- 9/9/13
Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14
D Final- 5/21/14
XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
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Looking for feedback good or bad on the below email that is currently in draft status-

XW,

I understand that returning my belongings to the attorney's office was a very emotional event for you. I am sorry you feel that strongly about my mental state and your possible perceived repercussions from returning my items. I do not own a weapon. The items that you returned are also by no means hard to purchase. You, XW, could go buy the same thing at Academy Sports if you wanted to. I am perplexed as to why that was such an issue for you. I assure you I have no ill-will towards you or your family and I am sad that you think me capable of anything along the lines of what that implied.

Thank you for returning items I had forgotten about such as the framed photos and hard drive, that was very kind of you.

I am deeply sad about the way things turned out. I hope that you find the happiness you're looking for as well.

I am filtering your emails to automatically delete moving forward. While I don't expect that you would email me or anything, it's for my own peace of mind moving on. If I receive any important snail mail for you I will forward it to your parents house accordingly. I would appreciate the same courtesy.

Best of luck,

XH


H: 29
WAXW: 30

Bomb Drop- 9/9/13
Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14
D Final- 5/21/14
XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
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Hmmm.. what is your motivation for this email?

Do you really think she feels threatened? Or do you think she the reality of the D has hit her?

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KdogGS Offline OP
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Returning the ammunition seemed to be an issue for her, because I mentioned it a couple of weeks after she left and she asked "what do you plan to do with it?" After her episode in the attorney's office, it seems she really thinks of me negatively, and I want to put her mind at ease a bit.

My motivation is to address that issue, and to also let her know that she won't be able to contact me via email, so if she does she will know I'm not ignoring her.

I don't know which one it is honestly, if she feels/felt threatened or if reality hit.

I never raised a hand to her, I've never threatened her, I've never even really been in a fight. I was a federal agent for 5 years and passed psych evals and background checks. Her fear is a but unwarranted in my opinion, as she went with me to the shooting range before and had no issue with me ever carrying a gun and in fact encouraged it prior to BD.


H: 29
WAXW: 30

Bomb Drop- 9/9/13
Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14
D Final- 5/21/14
XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
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KDog,

In keeping with the DB principles, I'd advise you to take our your Sharpie pen and make changes to it in keeping with the KISS and STFU tenets.

You do need to re-work the draft some more and then post it here for feedback.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Returning the ammunition seemed to be an issue for her, because I mentioned it a couple of weeks after she left and she asked "what do you plan to do with it?" After her episode in the attorney's office, it seems she really thinks of me negatively, and I want to put her mind at ease a bit.

^^ it is an exercise in mindreading big time, KDog! Don't go there. She needs to own her emotions. You have absolutely nothing to apologize for here.

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KdogGS Offline OP
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I think it's pretty concise as-is. This would be my final communication to her. I have not initiated contact since November, only responding to communication from her.

What would you cut out or modify?


H: 29
WAXW: 30

Bomb Drop- 9/9/13
Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14
D Final- 5/21/14
XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
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Originally Posted By: KdogGS
I think it's pretty concise as-is. This would be my final communication to her. I have not initiated contact since November, only responding to communication from her.

What would you cut out or modify?


This is your homework, dear. Go back and take a look at it again. Focus on what you would take out using DB principles. I'be be happy to assist you with this process. First..I'd like to see you post your re-worked draft here.

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Ok dear, how's the brevity now?


XW,

I understand that returning my belongings to the attorney's office was a very emotional event for you. I am sorry you feel that strongly about my mental state. I do not own a weapon. I harbor no grudges or ill-will towards you or your family.

Thank you for returning items I had forgotten about such as the framed photos and hard drive.

I am sad about the way things turned out. I hope that you find the happiness you're looking for.

I am filtering yours and your families emails to automatically delete moving forward. If I receive any important snail mail for you I will forward it to your parents house.

Best of luck,
XH


H: 29
WAXW: 30

Bomb Drop- 9/9/13
Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14
D Final- 5/21/14
XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
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Okay...here are my thoughts.

XW,

I understand that returning my belongings to the attorney's office was a very emotional event for you. I am sorry you feel that strongly about my mental state. I do not own a weapon. I harbor no grudges or ill-will towards you or your family.

How do you know for a fact? That seems to be a lot of mind reading. Another thing that struck me here is that you seem to be on the defensive here. For what??

Thank you for returning items I had forgotten about such as the framed photos and hard drive.

I am sad about the way things turned out. I hope that you find the happiness you're looking for.

I am filtering yours and your families emails to automatically delete moving forward. If I receive any important snail mail for you I will forward it to your parents house.

Was this part necessary? Does this have a place at all? Can you please explain this so I can understand you better, KDog?

Best of luck,
XH


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You're not yet done...keep going on the 2nd draft.

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KDog...I'll check back in tomorrow (Monday).

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