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I say let the phone go. You have already spent $$ on lawyers and what's a few extra hundred added to this "situation"..... just to be DONE with her.


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction



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Train,

I would not meet with the XOW under any circumstances. Don't give her the power.

If I were H, I'd go to the Apple store and work with them to disconnect the phone. Is the phone under H's plan? If yes, then I'd ask the store to disable it. If it is under XOW's name and credit card, then it'd be best to cut your losses and move on from that situation.

You and H need to extract yourselves from OW in any way possible without SEEING her at all. Scratch option #2.

Doesn't the OXW have an email that H can send the NC to as most iPhones tend to have the @gmail.com account.

Good luck!

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Thank you, Wonka! smile

H said he wants to try to get his phone back before he sends the NC letter. I mean, I DO understand where he's coming from. And he said he would be perfectly fine with me accompanying him if he has to meet her. But if he tells her I'm coming, she won't show. And if he *doesn't* tell her I'm coming, the meeting could end up being confrontational. *I* wouldn't be confrontational. But I'm guessing she would feel "trapped." Either way, H will likely not end up with the phone ...

Would love y'all's thoughts on that one ...


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
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Just saw your response, Wonka. Thank you. I'm thinking H needs to work with the phone company/Apple store first. I bet he bought it from the phone store.

I'll ask him more about that - and about e-mail.

But I think that's the only way to go.

You rock!


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
Joined: Mar 2014
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And you, too, twinmom!

I think you're both exactly right.

Thank you!


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
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And, Wonka, yes. The phone is under his plan.


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
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Originally Posted By: Train


I told H today that he has two choices:

1. Either let the phone go and work something out with the phone company for the bill, or ...
2. Meet her, but I'll be going with him.

I know EXACTLY what that wh0re is up to. And H says I'm "probably right."

So, how do I handle THAT little nugget?




Looks to me like you just did. smirk


Starsky


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
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laugh Yeah, Starsky. Maybe so. Lol.


M: 40 H: 44
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Originally Posted By: Wonka
Train,

I would not meet with the XOW under any circumstances. Don't give her the power.

If I were H, I'd go to the Apple store and work with them to disconnect the phone. Is the phone under H's plan? If yes, then I'd ask the store to disable it. If it is under XOW's name and credit card, then it'd be best to cut your losses and move on from that situation.

You and H need to extract yourselves from OW in any way possible without SEEING her at all. Scratch option #2.

Doesn't the OXW have an email that H can send the NC to as most iPhones tend to have the @gmail.com account.

Good luck!



Actually, as I re-think this, I agree with this from Wonka ^^^.

Nothing good can come out of such a meeting. I originally thought "he/they will never go for that option anyway," and kinda liked the firmness and snarkiness of the way you phrased it, but upon further reflection you shouldn't even offer that option.


Starsky


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
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I believe that whomever his service provider is for the iPhone (mine is AT&T), he can just declare it "stolen," and they will disable it. It -- and your obligation for its "x" number of more months on your contract -- remain your responsibility, but the phone will be disabled from making anything other than a 911 call.

This would avoid the unnecessary embarrassment for your H to explain the situation fully to the cellphone provider, and would also allow the possibility that OW at some point would agree to mail it to him or drop it off at the apartment complex, as he asked. If not, you could eventually just ask what the contract buyout is and eat that $$$, along with the loss of the equipment itself.

Starsky


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
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