Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 8 of 11 1 2 6 7 8 9 10 11
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 698
M
Mimi00 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 698
So I have had the dissolution paper work for a week now. Since the papers were bent from him mailing them I pulled up new documents and electronically put the information in and reprinted.

Months ago I said to myself that when he sent the documents I would send them back with a note saying "I wish thi gs could be different but if this is what it takes for you to get the happiness you desire...all the best to you".....I no longer have the need/want to send a note along. I will be putting the documents in a yellow folder.....simply for protection so the pages to get all bent and wrinkled, I personally want the courts to recieve crisp clean paperwork lol thats just the type of person I am....but the folds happens to be yellow...its all I had on hand....but maybe subliminally the yellow while make him feel like he needs to take caution.... lol

But really I am ready to move on with my life....there are so many other men on this earth who would probably be a much better fit for me...i will definitely go for someone next time who is the opposite....I wont marry for love again...I wont follow my emotions but balance it with other important factors as well.

My old highschool boyfriend contacted me again.... the conversation went slightly left with a comment he made....so I ttold him I was confused, just a few months ago he said he was happily married. He was always a liar......he finally told the truth, they are going through a divorce....he leaves her. Why? Because he realized he wasnt "in love with her...therefore shes not 'the one'" *excuse me while I roll my eyes*.....I told him I wouldn't judge his desicion, but yeah... (obviously I am totally put off by that)

He went on to say he could see us together....I asked him to please not talk that way....and also that it would never ever happen. I dont plan on talking to him again any time soon. He is clearly in a WAS fog.

So terrible, I wish I could reach out to the wife and offer support....but ive never met her.

Well I guess thats enough rambling for today.


me: 30 H:30
tgthr:7 m:4
no kids
5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012
long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012
official BD: July 2013
nothing filed
1/1/14 I dropped the rope
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 463
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 463
MI! yoyoyoyoyo.

Just checking in with you. How are things? Did you get the paperwork completed and sent back in? How are preparations for the move?

I'd definitely just tell the HS boyfriend what you've learned about walking away from marriage. That the fact that he is willing to quit is a big turnoff, and you don't want to be with someone like that. Be upfront, he may be imagining a life with you as perfect, and so he is having an imagined affair, of course his wife has no chance against what his imagination can conjure up.


H: 29
WAXW: 30

Bomb Drop- 9/9/13
Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14
D Final- 5/21/14
XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 698
M
Mimi00 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 698
Hey K. Thanks for checking on me.

Things are going well. I moved on the 31st. I didn't bring many items on my initial move here, but for some reason it seemed like a lot to move....

I've never lived in such a large apartment, multiple rooms with walls. No kitchen/living room/dining room in one.

The wood floors are like a dream... and took me 2 hours to mop and shine today (sheesh).

With so much space, it looks super empty right now.

The dog is finally settling in a bit, he's a good dog this is like the 4th move in his 4 years of life. smh.

It kind of annoys me b/c my family moved around several times when I was young, so H and I were in route to finally getting a home and somewhere to settle....and now I am back to bouncing around. I hopefully will stay in this new apartment for a few years. This move was tiring...

I am excited to go "home" and get my furniture out of storage. I will be getting rid of a lot, but there are so many items I am exited to see again.

Sorry went off on a tangent.

I mailed the Dissolution papers back to H, I believe on Friday 3/28. I did not want to bring that negativity with me to my new place.... so off it went. I got shipping confirmation on it just in case something happens, proof I did mail it.... I haven't checked to see if it's been delivered to his PO Box, I probably won't check... I won't call and let him know it's been sent either, as last time we talked I did let him know I'd be sending it before the week was out and I followed through with my word.


Today was a randomly emotional day. I'm ready to leave the past behind me. It's hard to believe in miracles or just simply that good things happen for people who are purposely good people, anymore...

My birthday is this month, I think my gift to myself will be changing my phone number as another step towards ridding of the past.

One thing I've notices that this D has changed about me... is that I can't take a jokes. I am very literal know. I want to know what you mean exactly when you speak.... b/c I've been lied and had my heart broken.... I need to know what's real and what's not. I don't want to mistake lies for truth every again.
My brother came to visit, that's how I noticed, he make several jokes and my responses were very serious.... he says I need to lighten up. *shrugs*

So I can only imagine what I may be like if I got in another relationship........................ *sigh*


me: 30 H:30
tgthr:7 m:4
no kids
5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012
long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012
official BD: July 2013
nothing filed
1/1/14 I dropped the rope
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 463
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 463
Hey Mi, it's completely understandable that this ordeal has sucked the humor out of you for the time being. Don't fret about bringing that into a new relationship. You'll get that sense of humor back. It took me a few dates before I got back into the swing of things and making jokes and being myself again. It's crazy to see how much of an impact this has on each of the LBS'.

I'm glad the fresh start has been positive. I know how moving goes, I was an Army brat, so I've done it plenty of times. I hope for your sake you enjoy those nice hardwoods for a few years at your new place. It sounds like this is a place you can see yourself putting down new roots?

I'm glad the dog's getting used to the place too, he'll have to find new spots. My dog was the same way, freaks out whenever I get out suitcases or was moving W's boxes to the garage. Afraid she's getting left behind. Change is hard on dogs too, they love their routine just like we enjoy the status quo as well.

I hope you have a lovely week/weekend!


H: 29
WAXW: 30

Bomb Drop- 9/9/13
Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14
D Final- 5/21/14
XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 698
M
Mimi00 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 698
Thanks K!

The last 2 weeks have been an emo-coaster... I don't know why but I've thought of H more. I don't want him back or want him to come back, no love left (that I can tell), it's just the hurt is still there/feeling of betrayal. I cried a few times for the first time in a few months.

I was scrolling through my Facebook looking at all the happy pictures of my friends with their new babies and loving statuses about their husbands/relationships......

Feeling bad about my life...

As I scrolled there was a photo of a child who beat cancer, then I scrolled some more and a photo of a woman who was finishing Chemo. Then I found out yesterday that a person on Youtube who I love to watch died from complications of Lupus at the age of 27.

What a way to be reminded that while Divorce is bad..... things could be worst. I am going to attempt to not complain about my life for the rest of the year....and try to stick with positive thinking.

I really need to start working out... I have yet to jump on board with that. I am doing another 5k in June, I have 6 ladies joining me so far. I think I will ask if they'd like to start doing weekly walks/jogs on the lakefront.

Right now...my biggest worry is getting my dog to stop barking at everyone he sees when I take him out.... lol any suggestions?

I go to get my stuff out of storage next weekend...it will be nice to have furniture again. A real bed. Chairs etc... lol


me: 30 H:30
tgthr:7 m:4
no kids
5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012
long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012
official BD: July 2013
nothing filed
1/1/14 I dropped the rope
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 698
M
Mimi00 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 698
Next week is my birthday, so it will be officially a year since H began his BD mission. Last year, this time he told me maybe we shouldn't be together....and he and his sister knew his plans to leave....but he told me not to worry....a few days later he flew back to where he lives and I got DB book and started LRT...which probably wasn't the best technique to start with but I felt I had no other option as he was living hundreds of miles away.

O well.

A few days ago an old college friend commented on an old IG pic of mine... he told me to call him so we could catch up (I guess w/ there being no pics of my H on any of my social media...it's starting to become obvious I am no longer in a relationship). I don't have his number and never have to my knowledge.... so that's funny. But interestingly enough he lives where I am headed to this weekend to get my furniture out of storage....so I told him I'd be in town.

Then a few days later an old co-worker left me a message on FB saying he's back in town (where I live) from his traveling job and wants to connect. I had a really big crush on him back in 2006 when we worked together lol....so I definitely told him I've love to re-connect and gave him my number. So we'll see if he calls smile


I'm a bit excited this. I've been hanging out with females only, for the last 8 months since moving here...and I work at an all female agency....so it would be a nice change.

My signed dissolution paper work arrived to H's PO Box 17 days ago.... I wish I knew if he has filed or not. I guess I don't like being left in the dark about where things are in the process or what happens next if he has filed (I think the court waits 91 days to make things final after a filing)....

I can't wait until my mind can be completely off of that subject.


me: 30 H:30
tgthr:7 m:4
no kids
5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012
long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012
official BD: July 2013
nothing filed
1/1/14 I dropped the rope
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 463
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 463
Happy Birthday Week Mi!

Sounds like you have some potential dates coming up! Good for you, it'll be good practice if nothing else.

I know how the not knowing what's going on portion of this stinks! But stay strong, and just keep living your life like you would as if he's not coming back! Sounds like you're in a good frame of mind.


H: 29
WAXW: 30

Bomb Drop- 9/9/13
Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14
D Final- 5/21/14
XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 463
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 463
What's the latest birthday girl?


H: 29
WAXW: 30

Bomb Drop- 9/9/13
Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14
D Final- 5/21/14
XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 698
M
Mimi00 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 698
Hey K, thanks for checking on me.

I had the most boring birthday ever.
I got off work at 7am, had a meeting at 9:30 am, went back to work at 7pm. Happy Birthday to me! lol

No call from H, not that I expected it.
But I guess he's done with the pity calls for holidays and birthdays.

My life is a bore, finding decor items for my apartment is my only joy right now.

I still have a temp roommate and I am ready for her to go.
This past weekend was the first time I had both Friday and Saturday off, I was super bored sitting around staring at her.
I have more fun alone at home w/ my dog lol

Saturday I did join my church in cleaning the streets of one of the city neighborhoods for a late Earth Day project. Other than that I spend my free time in home decor stores, searching for the perfect finds so that I can make my apartment the perfect eclectic urban oasis.

The weather here is up and down with the temps ... I am waiting for a consistent week of high 60s - mid 70s... maybe that will brighten my mood.


me: 30 H:30
tgthr:7 m:4
no kids
5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012
long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012
official BD: July 2013
nothing filed
1/1/14 I dropped the rope
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 463
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 463
Eclectic urban oasis eh? Love to see some photos when that's finished...

I'm sorry you're life feels a bit boring. It seems like the church might have some worthwhile activities for helping in the GAL department. What else are you doing to GAL? I don't think sitting with the roomie is getting it done!

If you're looking for warmer temperatures, a visit to TX might be in order, I can guarantee it's warmer than 60's-70's. High today 88. What is it about the weather that is going to make you happier?


H: 29
WAXW: 30

Bomb Drop- 9/9/13
Negotiated Settlement- 5/9/14
D Final- 5/21/14
XW has breakdown in attorney lobby- 5/30/14
Page 8 of 11 1 2 6 7 8 9 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard