Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 13 of 16 1 2 11 12 13 14 15 16
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 9
R
New Member
Offline
New Member
R
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 9
I thought I had posted on this. I have made so many of these mistakes over the last few weeks but starting today I am done. Although I really do want to save my marriage I think these things will help either way. Thanks so much.


Me:45
Wife?:40
Daughter:12
Son:10
Together:16 yrs
Married:13 yrs
Prognosis: ?
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 5
F
New Member
Offline
New Member
F
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 5
My wife told me in December that she was unhappy, and didn’t think our marriage would last until Christmas a year later. Things have gradually gotten worse, and she is moving out June 1.

I have begun implementing the 7-step process, or, more accurately, the “last resort” step. I'm following Sandi2's 37 rules.

I am making serious changes. I have lost nearly 40 pounds since December (I was 6’ tall, and 257 lbs, I am now 218 lbs). I exercise regularly and and trying to stay positive and “light hearted” at all times when around my wife.

I have stopped “chasing” her, looking pathetic, and saying “I love you” only to hear nothing, or “I know”.

My biggest problem is that when I am near her, I am SO COMPLETELY attracted to her. She’s the one woman in my life who just “does it for me”. Always has. We are both in our early forties, and she is extremely fit and beautiful.

It’s the knowledge that I may never again have her that sends me careening into depression.

I’m okay if I stay at work, or exercise, or am not around her, but when I see her in the morning, or at dinner, or anytime, I just want to touch her.

Any suggestions on what to do when this gnawing, aching feeling persists?

How can I overcome it?

Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 9
R
New Member
Offline
New Member
R
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 9
Gonna give the happiness advantage a read, thanks for the tip.


Me:45
Wife?:40
Daughter:12
Son:10
Together:16 yrs
Married:13 yrs
Prognosis: ?
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 9
R
New Member
Offline
New Member
R
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 9
This week I stopped initiating contact since I was the only one doing it but as I have been reading DB it seems counter intuitive, feeling kinda lost since before I cut contact we seem to be having some decent interaction, what to do?


Me:45
Wife?:40
Daughter:12
Son:10
Together:16 yrs
Married:13 yrs
Prognosis: ?
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 505
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 505
I have a unique and challenging issue. My wife's had left the home and lived with OM for ten weeks. We went through ups and downs of communication. I would go dark and she would text me over and over, a few times she would email me we are done and proceeding to divorce.

Recently we ended up at both the Collaborative divorce coach and financial planner. Our finances are a mess. The collaborative coach drew up boundaries
She moved back in on Thursday night, we had no contact until Saturday.

The issue is she is continuing her affair, I get the ilybnily speech on and off and she cries a lot.

Yesterday we did a lot together, the gym, took a walk,mate dinners during the walk we had a lay it on the line get it off my chest, it eventually lead to what I saw as the issues with OM.

Then at home Little bit aboutt her she with him.

Last night we watches tv together and sat in the same bed. When she fell to sleep I went to my room.

I am confused, because I saw a video where Michele says to ignore the affair ,they last two years etc.

But remember she ran away even went to his country,now she's home..

I switched from some of the other boards where they wanted me to throw her under the bus.

I so have two threads ( one closed) on here.

I read DR.

I am just trying to wrap my head around the best way to handle this in home thing and be that husband no woman would want to leave, but she's still in her relationship, and thinks eventually we will divorce and she will go off with him..


W 53 H 51, S 16, S 21
33 years M 28
DD 3 Feb 11, 2014
S21 and His Fiancée move in with us 8/14
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...965#Post2477965
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 659
U
Member
Offline
Member
U
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 659
You've asked this same question many, many times in several different topics but you are still resistant to taking advice. Lots of folks here are dealing with affairs and a spouse who is still in the same house. It's time to stop asking and start doing.

Joined: May 2014
Posts: 55
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 55
Excellent rules! I'll be treasuring them smile


Me: 26, BF: 33, R: 9yrs
Bomb dropped April 17th 2014
Currently No Contact
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 35
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 35
Pure gold! Trying to live by them.


Me - 44
Her - 35
S - 6
D - 8
Married - 8
Together - 11
Separated - 5/17/2014
Divorce filed - 6/3/2014
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 736
I
Member
Offline
Member
I
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 736
May I ask why #36 is on here? Doesn't GAL involve socializing with friends in bars to some people? This rule confuses me. What problem could arise. Also, do these rules apply to a WAW that isn't in the same residence with whom we are in strict NC with?

Last edited by ItHurts; 05/30/14 04:49 AM.

ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
ItHurts,

Have you actually read DB or DR?


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Page 13 of 16 1 2 11 12 13 14 15 16

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard