It's Time to Sing a Brand New Song

[KdogGS]

Mimi, I think you did a good job sticking to business and standing your ground on your rights.

Will this be a letter he does not expect to receive?

I would just finish it as "Thank you, or sincerely" not "have a good day" because really do you mean it? If you do, leave it.

[Mimi00]

Hey K, thanks for the feed back.

He is not expecting the letter/email...he is expecting to get an update at some point on the documents needed to remove my name from the accounts....but i am sure she wasn't expecting me to get it done and have my name removed with in 48 hours of talking about it.

I said have a good day bc I was initially going to send it during day hours and I know wouldve read it at work....i think its a habit I guess to say it b/c I work I a service related job. When I go to stores i'm more courteous than the cashiers checking me out lol

I am nervous to send the letter.... I may we d it in the morning after a few tweaks.

I met up with the young women my mom wanted me to meet tonight...she was nice. I didnt care for her saying things about her husband like "this one just wont seem to go away". I wanted to reply "do you know how many peop le would love to be in your shoes?" .... they've been seperated several times and keep getting back together. Maybe when I get to know her better I can suggest some books to read that can help her be more positive about her marriage. It was nice to meet a potential new friend though.

[KdogGS]

Glad to hear you met a new friend. Perhaps when she says things like that, you could let her know how it makes you feel. It's a good chance to work on validating her, but expressing your own feelings as well. For instance, "I hear you saying he just won't seem to go away, how does that make you feel?" She responds, and you can say, "I understand why it might make you feel that way." Then you could let her know how that makes you feel. She might not know she is offending you unless you tell her. In my situation, I wish that I had the opportunity you had, and it makes me feel more hurt when you mention your husband in that regard.

[Mimi00]

Good morning K. Thanks for the advice. Im not offended by what she said....it's just that there are plenty of people on this on this board alone who would love to be in the position to work on their marriage again....so its just a matter of not seein your blessings insfead of seeing the negatives...(i assume she's a WAS during their multiple seperations though) they just need the proper tools.

Well I emailed my H after tweaking it a bit and he responded with in 5 minutes:

"Good morning, I will be sure to get those things the paperwork back to you as soon as possible along with the paperwork for the divorce with you can look over and sign and get notorize as well.  . ... The car insurance. .. I will continue to help with that. ... As soon as I get these finances together as you know (school debt name) changed my account twice causing some problems, I will repay that loan. 
I hope you have a great weekend, take care!"

[Mimi00]

And just a note, that was the first time he has use the word Divorce. Usually he calls it "the paper work" he has never used the word in this process, not even during BD, until this response. Dont know what that means....just making a note of it.

[KdogGS]

Good job getting it taken care of, seems like we are both on the same unalterable course right now. Keep being awesome.

[Mimi00]

Just journaling: Last weekend there was a big snow fall on friday night and I had to be at work by 7 am on Saturday. While on the highway 2 cars in front of me hit their brakes to stop (I guess someone had car troubles)....so I had the choice to hit my brakes and possibly slide into them, or attempt to get in the next lane b/c it was empty.... I chose to get in the next lane and ended up spinning across a 4 lane highway....watching the cars that were behind me (fortunately significantly behind) start to hit there breaks and start to swerve a bit as well.

After my car came to a stop on the side of the highway I was a bit shaken....no accidents, thank God... normally I would take a minute to breath and call my H to let him know what happen and so would tell me everything is going to be ok and say that he was glad that I am safe.

But I had no H to call, no H that cares whether I am okay or not. So I just got back on the road and made it to work on time.

It's sad when times like this happen and I realize just how "alone" I am w/ no family with-in 6 hrs. But I will just have to continue to keep getting back on the road.....

[DigDeeper]

Hi mimi, I'm s sorry you got into that accident. I hope that you are unhurt from that.

I understand you want to reach out to your H in that situation. I understand how you might have felt as I've also encountered such incident too.

[3boymom]

Mimi - I am sorry to hear about your accident. I know that feeling of wanting to reach out to H and share something that happened (either good or bad). I try and reach out to a friend (or even come here) and share things to take away the feeling of being alone. But I know that it is just not the same.

[Mimi00]

Digdeeper and 3bm, thank you for your words....fortunately it was just unplanned sleigh ride on the highway and everyone was safe.