Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 2 of 5 1 2 3 4 5
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 369
2
Member
Offline
Member
2
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 369
Hey. Just thought I'd check in over here.

You seem to be doing extremely well given the circumstance. I'm not sure if you are still in shock or if you actually are detached. Good on you if you are detached.

Hang in there and good luck.


Me-35 Com law-28
S-3
T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu
1st bu- 2/2012
Rec-4/2013
2nd bu-10/2013
IC-2 yrs(anger issues)
MC- 5 mnths-fail
OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14
New OM ~10/4/14
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 52
D
Dylis Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 52
I believe I have detached. But it could be shock. There are times I find myself in a daze: getting from one place to another and then asking myself "how/when did I get here?" I'm physically functioning at work, with my parents/siblings, outings; I'm able to participate in conversations; but the second that I'm not moving, not being busy, not talking, my mind comes back to this...this bomb. People think I'm listening to them because I'm looking at them and nodding, but I don't even hear them because my mind comes right back to this.


Me:28
H:30
D:3
M:6.5
T:7.5
BD: 10-27-13
H moved out: 11-01-13
Handling other paperwork before petition is to be filed.
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 369
2
Member
Offline
Member
2
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 369
Originally Posted By: Dylis
I believe I have detached. But it could be shock. There are times I find myself in a daze: getting from one place to another and then asking myself "how/when did I get here?" I'm physically functioning at work, with my parents/siblings, outings; I'm able to participate in conversations; but the second that I'm not moving, not being busy, not talking, my mind comes back to this...this bomb. People think I'm listening to them because I'm looking at them and nodding, but I don't even hear them because my mind comes right back to this.



Sounds like shock. I remember earlier in my sitch my IC said I looked numb. I still find myself in shock. I hate the million emotions I'm going through. It's such an awful feeling. I hope you are in fact detached because that is the goal.


Me-35 Com law-28
S-3
T-6 yrs w/14 mnth bu
1st bu- 2/2012
Rec-4/2013
2nd bu-10/2013
IC-2 yrs(anger issues)
MC- 5 mnths-fail
OM~1/1/14 OM dumped 6/4/14
New OM ~10/4/14
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 52
D
Dylis Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 52
Called H today to see if he would have D for tomorrow (Saturday). Again it's been a week since he's seen her and he only spoke to her once after that. He said that was his reason for calling this week to see if he can have her Saturday, but he wasn't able to get through to me. Why didn't he text, or call my work line, or leave a voicemail, or why didn't he say anything when I did answer that night he spoke to D? I'm asking why but don't really care or need to know the answer. Anyway, he will be by around 8am and I'll make sure that I look good (not too good because, come on, who looks amazing at 8 on a Saturday morning?) and that the house will smell of bacon, eggs, pancakes, etc. (things that I'm sure he's missing -- not that I care, lol) that he can't have unless he begs and grovel for it.

Although I initiated the communication, I did not let him take over the communication. We set the time of pick up, followed up with him about tax documents, and told him okay that's all...see you tomorrow.

I'm telling you, this week of absolutely not hearing his voice has done wonders for me. This is the best I've felt since BD and that excites me even more because I know there are still better days to come. Thank you God, thank you fellow DBers, and thank you "me".


Me:28
H:30
D:3
M:6.5
T:7.5
BD: 10-27-13
H moved out: 11-01-13
Handling other paperwork before petition is to be filed.
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 52
D
Dylis Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 52
Friday night I went to church to attend a women's bible study that will aid in me GAL. It's a group for women whose husbands have "strongholds" (addictions) and to help them through it. Like a codependence support group. Their goal is to better us through scripture, peer support, and to remind us that God is in control of our situation. What I like about this group, so far, is that it's not a group for giving up on your marriage, it's standing up for your marriage. Our sub-group leader sounded as if she was quoting from DR so I felt that I was in the right place.

Then I got a call from my best friend to come out with the girls and have some drinks. I took her up on her offer; a little spontaneity...didn't want to be "parent" that night. I had such a great time and didn't get home until after 4am, haven't done that in a long time.

H did show Saturday but I didn't get to tease him with breakfast like I hoped because of my "spontaneity" the night before. He actually woke me by his knocking at the door. I did manage to scramble up a good look though: new bedtime apparrel (short and sexy), hair neatly frazzled, etc. and I made sure to hint that I'd gone out the night before.

He looks good and happy. I wonder do I appear the same way to him.


Me:28
H:30
D:3
M:6.5
T:7.5
BD: 10-27-13
H moved out: 11-01-13
Handling other paperwork before petition is to be filed.
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 52
D
Dylis Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 52
He called my cellular today, then sent a text message asking, "Do you have a little time for me?", then called my work line. Guess he's learning from last week. It's not that I didn't answer or respond on purpose, I just wasn't at my desk. So I seen the missed calls on both lines and then the text message. I panicked, went outside, yelled and cursed, did some pacing, and then prayed. After that I called him. Made sure I sounded cool/calm in my greeting and then I asked is everything okay. He said yes. He said I spoke with my attorney and I understand that you are not okay with me travelling out of the country with D. Then there was silence. Wasn't sure if he was asking a question or just making a statement. After a few more milliseconds of silence, I said "ok?" I don't want to type out the whole conversation but he wasn't ok with being unable to travel out of the country with D. He said can we work it out so that it isn't written in black and white that he can't travel with her? He was assuring me that whatever travel he does decide to do with her would be just for vacation purposes and would last no more than a week. Besides we would have to let each other know if we want to travel with her, so if I'm not okay with them traveling in that moment I can say no and he will respect that. I think that's easier said than done and right now I'm not supposed to believe anything he says. So he said we'll just put it as "as we agree" in the paper work. I told him ok but I'm still not ok with it, because that would mean that I would have to trust him and he's lost that credibility with me. I said ok so that I wouldn't get into some agruement that would cause me to lose control, but I will seek some advice from my prepaid lawyer.

I wanted to share this so you can have some missing pieces to my story, this is from my thread in the Newcomers forum.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...456#Post2424456


Me:28
H:30
D:3
M:6.5
T:7.5
BD: 10-27-13
H moved out: 11-01-13
Handling other paperwork before petition is to be filed.
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 52
D
Dylis Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 52
Woohoo! I'm off of moderation. Thank God!


Me:28
H:30
D:3
M:6.5
T:7.5
BD: 10-27-13
H moved out: 11-01-13
Handling other paperwork before petition is to be filed.
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 52
D
Dylis Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 52
Bump^


Me:28
H:30
D:3
M:6.5
T:7.5
BD: 10-27-13
H moved out: 11-01-13
Handling other paperwork before petition is to be filed.
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 52
D
Dylis Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 52
Bump^


Me:28
H:30
D:3
M:6.5
T:7.5
BD: 10-27-13
H moved out: 11-01-13
Handling other paperwork before petition is to be filed.
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 52
D
Dylis Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 52
Bump^


Me:28
H:30
D:3
M:6.5
T:7.5
BD: 10-27-13
H moved out: 11-01-13
Handling other paperwork before petition is to be filed.
Page 2 of 5 1 2 3 4 5

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard