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Now I'm in trouble with Voldy. She texted me the other night asking whether I thought it appropriate for her to talk to D16's Head Coach. D15 had a horrible year in gymnastics last year and has been somewhat unenthusiastic this current year. I said I thought it would be appropriate to let the coach know that D16 needs a little more encouragement from her coaches. So Voldy did this after the parent meeting the other night. Head coach emailed me and asked whether I thought it would be OK to move D16 up to a higher level of competition and outlined the reasons for this. I spoke to Voldy and Ok'd it with her. I informed Head Coach and said it was up to D16. So Head Coach talked to D16 tonight about this proposal which she accepted happily. When I picked her up she asked if we had spoken to Head Coach. I said we had let HC know that she, D16, may need a little encouragement this year and HC had proposed a move up in level. So Voldy texts me at midnight roasting my ass for telling D16 that she had spoken to HC. Apparently D16 had discussed her feelings re gymnastics this year with her Mom and felt betrayed that HC knew how she felt. I reponded to Voldy by saying "I did not know you had spoken to D16 at all and D16 asked me whether we had talked to HC. I told her we felt she maybe needed a little more encouragement from the coaches this year and HC suggested a move up in level. I stressed "we" and did not single you out at any time. Sorry if this caused an issue." Um, if she doesn't want D16 to know then maybe she should tell me considering she knows I do not lie to my children. I certainly presented the talk as "we" not Mom. It was a joint decision. Now D16 says she will never tell Mom anything ever again and this, of course, is my fault according to Voldy. Isn't life grand!


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
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At least you are both involved in raising your kids. That is something you should both be proud of. Remembering back when I was married, I don't recall my h stepping up and really getting involved with the kids much. Of course s18 was sick then and there were endless labs and dr visits and hospital stays. I don't think I am rewriting history, he just wasn't really involved except for playing with them.

So be glad that even with the divorce you are still both very active parents and when able to, you present a united front.

kat


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S24, S21, D18, D17
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UGH! I know she won't ever see it, but you are the epitome of the best type of co-parent. You are involved! You make joint decisions. That is amazing. Voldy is obviously a hot tempered woman and blames you for a lot of things. If she ever learns to look inward she would see where the blame lies.

HUGS!


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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Voldy texted me today, in response to my text last night. She doesn't seem to get that texts are not supposed to be the size of the Bible! Anyway, she seemed to have cooled down and said not to worry about it, it's three steps forward and two back. She said that D16 had just started opening up to her and this may have put a dent in it but it can be repaired.So anyway, I just responded that D16 seemed very happy about being boosted a level in gymnastics and sounded enthusiastic. I told D16 that HC would not have put her at that level if she didn't have confidence in her abilities. I then told Voldy I was out with my Mom picking up groceries for Thanksgiving. Another day, another...whatever.


Divorced February 27, 2012.

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...and yes, we are both very involved parents and made an effort right from the beginning to make co-parenting our children a priority. They had their lives ripped apart with no part in the decision. We were adults who got to make a choice. So it was up to us to act like adults and make the transition and whatever followed as healthy and secure as it could be. I think we've done a good job. On Monday Voldy, me and my girls will be going to my Mom's for Thanksgiving. Last year SDA Lady went with us. I miss her but what is is.


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
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Went out with D19 and Voldy today to shoot some fall colours at an overpass near where we live. Nice afternoon. D19 told me that she had contacted her friend who said she has paid the $200 and is in the process of cancelling the phone contract, which is another $400. D19 says her family is "f'ing rich". We'll see when we check next week to make sure the account is closed. Anyway, that's my day.


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
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Last night was second meeting of Divorce Care. The meeting went from 7:30 pm to 9 pm but the Pastor said that we could all stay and chat, no rush. We left at 10 pm. There's a woman in the group who is in a similar sitch to me. She says she's not there to process the end of her marriage but to work through the loss of her first real R since the divorce. She was the dumpee whereas I was the dumper. There's the wondering about whether the pain you go through is worth doing it again. You wonder how something so nice became so difficult. In her case, she's the mother of a 5 year old boy and she dated bf for a year when he turned around and said a child was too much responsiblity for him and he ditched her. I said that sometimes we put aside issues or concerns because the good stuff we're getting is so good! For me it was validation and the feeling that someone really, really loved me. I'd do anything for her and ran myself into the ground. I kept telling myself that it was the situation and not the person but eventually you recognize it is the person and that stuff isn't gonna change. So after you pour your everything into someone...poof, it's gone. Hard stuff. Anyway, the group is great and people are very open and sharing their stuff. Wow. The Pastor and group leader are wonderful and there's no rushing anyone for the door, they stay and are very involved. Glad I went.


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
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I met my Pastor for coffee this evening. He wanted to buy me one of those weirdo coffee drinks but I went for a regular coffee but I did toss in some vanilla and nutmeg...I like to live on the edge lol. We had a lovely chat and went for a short walk to look at the leaves changing colour. He said that he wanted to meet and chat because he follows me on Facebook and I seemed like a guy who loved life and had a lot of interests. He thought it would be nice to meet and spend some time talking. He's divorced and we talked about divorce and shared our stories. He's recently re-married. Someday I'd like to ask him how he got to the point that he was willing to take that chance again. It's all still so beyond me! Anyway, it was a nice evening and he seems like someone I'd be proud to call my Pastor.


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
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