Divorced-not done-But wondering ?

[whitneypinch]

Yep....

Keep doing what you are doing... you never know what can happen.

[JJAC2005]

Silly me....silly question.....but I was wondering about detachement and still being so darn "in love" with the ex....who seems to be getting more and more involved with her new bf??
What about it makes me so irritated?

[JJAC2005]

And on a sidenote why do we always want to go a lot quicker than the process allows, as for some reason just when we get a glimmer that things are moving along in favorable direction....we always want to rush it
The first 21 days of June where the night and day difference from six months ago with my ex, as things seemed to be heading in a grat area of a new friendship and now I'm feeling like a complete doofus for the way my heart is pushing over reactive buttons in my brain!

[JJAC2005]

As lessons go.....
Patience is by far the most valuable!

Getting excited about progress, no matter how great or small, is all too natural...
But we have to always keep our feet on the ground, our heads in the now, as well as the end goal....and be true to ourselves!

[JJAC2005]

heres a little tid-bit that actually makes me grin....and laugh at myself for being such a dumb ass sometimes!
I can see that even after some minor little setbacks (tipping my hand, doing a little pursuing) The ex is still initiating communication......I sense her caution, but she continues to text me now and then.

I know that she still has feelings....

[MrBond]

"I know that she still has feelings...."

Don't mindread into this. If you're wrong you are going to be sent back into a tailspin and the anger will be back. Just let things go.

[JJAC2005]

I've made that mistake 2x now....not so much as a misread, but as far as acting on it myself.
My instinct tells me that there has to be something left on that other level and my hardest lesson is "patience"
After all she is still talking to me and is sincere about building a friendship

[MrBond]

"Friendship" is different from a M. She may want to remain friends for the sake of the kids. You just don't know.

[JJAC2005]

Very true Mr. Bond...She may only be interested in a friendship. I can see that at this point that her trust and interest are seeking validation and assessing future risk and benefit options.
However, Friendships are a base layer on which to build other things.....and I'm not being overly hopeful, but that romantic chemistry, that energy that was in our marriage, is still there, it’s never been the issue.
I have admitted my faults, failure, and short comings to her in great depth and detail, to which she has stated that she even has learned a lot from my perspectives in what I have been able to relay to her about our relationship dynamics and the "divorce trap" so many couples fall into. Plus, I have addressed them to the enth degree...and I continue to learn and improve on all levels.
That brings the question of whether or not my ex has done any work on her own issues....which I highly doubt at this point.
I will continue to be patient...but I have already tipped my hand twice, and she knows exactly where I stand, and what I eventually want out of our relationship.
I can/will always have hope!

[MrBond]

"that romantic chemistry, that energy that was in our marriage, is still there, it’s never been the issue."

It's nice to think that, but just be aware of what might happen if she finds someone else. Just saying. Good luck.