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A Message from Michele
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Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 582
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Posts: 582
I'm awesome Subguy, Thanks for asking. I know now, That my story here is one of success, Not the kind that is initially hoped for here but the kind that was right for me.

It's been over nine months now, since STBXH left for the final time. It's been one hell of a ride. One that I'm not sure how I would have gotten through, without this site and all the fantastic, wonderful people who post here.

I joined this site a broken woman, One whose life was a living hell. I hurt right down to the very core, My life was all about surviving. I was hanging by a thread, One I thought may break at any given second.
Little did I know My life was changing into something more glorious, than I could have ever imagine. I was being set free.
It wasn't just H leaving. I had a lot of death and suffering happen to close family members and old family pets. It was a very hard, horrid time but the lessons I learnt, The things I realised, The signs I was given are all priceless.

I didn't have a good marriage. STBXH and I just didn't fit. Our core morals and values were just too different, he was toxic for me.

STBXH is still with the same GF. Actually I found a hidden piece of paper a few months ago, One that says that H was in fact with her before he left me. I haven't told him I know, It's irrelevant now. We don't talk these days, unless it is about the kids. I put a stop to that months ago. His GF doesn't like me LOL, he won't talk to me when she is around. He brought her to one of S8's functions last week and they were cuddling and "Showing off" and all I felt was happiness. Happiness, that I am free.

I didn't realise just how unhappy I was in my marriage. I now know what happiness is like again. I know know what it is like to actually let my hair down and enjoy life.

I have a totally new look and it feels so right. I have reconnected with myself again. I'm still single and for the most part, loving it. I have to admit, at times I still long for that intimate connection. Although, that is something I have been longing for, for years. STBXH was not the person my heart desires. I see that now. What I also see is that I would rather be single for the rest of my life, than to be in a relationship, like I had with STBX

My children are great for the most part. There is still some adjusting going on for them but I'll be there to help them through it, every step of the way.

I want to send my deepest, heartfelt thanks and gratitude to all of those wonderful people on here who helped my through my darkest hours, Many of which were going through some of their own darkest days. I honestly don't know how I would have survived without your help. This site was my lifeline. The only place I felt truly comfortable enough to talk so openly and honestly. I really don't think I could ever express, just how grateful I am or how much this site helped me.

I will try to catch up on some of your threads soon.
I still pray for you all and wish you all nothing but love, light and happiness.


M: 29, H: 31
D: 9
S: 8
T: 13 Y
M: 9 Y
ILYBIDKIILWY 12/09/2012
~~~~
Worrying does not empty tomorrow
of its troubles. ~~~ it Emptys today of its strengths
Joined: Jan 2013
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Posts: 597
S.S-Thank you for this post. Thank you for being you and showing some light.

I too am feeling some light these days. I hope the light gets brighter for me as it seems for you.

Good luck to you and your future! I know you will be happy no matter where you are.

Hugs!


BombOctober 2012-
OW 11/28/12 -H still denies
Separated 11/29/12
Own place 12/12/12
Confessed OW/EA/PA 2/2/13
Oct 2013 - I knew I was done
Jan 2014 - Anticipating the rest of my life
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
Sonoran Desert
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Sonoran Desert
Wow! ss, just wow. You even sound different in writing! Alm and peaceful. I'm so happy for you.

Much happiness to you and your family.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 8,149
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SS, glad to hear you're doing so well smile I'm glad you mentioned that your story is a SUCCESSFUL one, because it is, and it's important for people here to hear from others that success doesn't have to mean reconciliation. That's the beauty of DB'ing, we initially do it to save our M, but at some point we realize it's about saving ourselves more than the M. Hopefully in saving ourselves and becoming the spouse only a fool would leave we also end up saving the M, but even if we don't, we have the means to go on to a fantastic life whether with or without our spouse. Congrats smile


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 2,595
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Very happy to read your post SS! Congratulations you have pulled yourself out of he dark and into the bright and beautiful light. Love to you and your family. I wish nothing but great things for your future


TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,047
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I think everyone expressed my thoughts and feelings already in their previous posts. I'm so happy for you! I admit that I was worried for you at one time, but it's so great to hear that you're doing well. And even passed the test of watching the two of them together. I know you loved your H, but I think you can see now what many of us could see that you couldn't.

I expect your story will only keep getting better from here! (((hugs)))


Me:49 WAW H:59
T:19.5 M:19
S:13
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 582
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Posts: 582
Thanks everyone. smile It really means a lot. I was worried for myself there for a bit CV. Scared of what I might do, This place was my sole outlet at the time and I honestly don't know what I would have done without it.

It was such an awesome feeling seeing them together. For a long time, that was one of my worst nightmares, When they time came I actually felt happy.

I did love him very much and still do in a very strange way. It's a totally different love now. It was also our ten year wedding anniversary last month and I felt nothing but peace with the situation.

If someone had told me I would feel like this six months ago, I would have thought they were insane. I know in my heart we were not right for each other. It took me a long time to see it but when he left, he took all the anger and negativity with him.

I had a lot of family members and close friends, who hoped we would end up getting back together but they have since changed their minds. They can see how much happier, clearer and peaceful I am now.

Definitely a success AS.


M: 29, H: 31
D: 9
S: 8
T: 13 Y
M: 9 Y
ILYBIDKIILWY 12/09/2012
~~~~
Worrying does not empty tomorrow
of its troubles. ~~~ it Emptys today of its strengths
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