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Thank you . I had h served at work today. I asked the servuer to be discreet as I didn't want to embarrass him. The server called me and said it was quiet and discreet. My h waited a couple hours and told me he is going to have a beer with his friends and wants to talk to me. I think I want to tell him to live on his own for a time and get his life together. I think I need to be without him for a time. I don't know what he's going to say but yesterday the things he agreed to do and words said were said before with very little improvement. He wants me to be patient but I did this for over a year. If he really wanted me wouldn't he be here asking what he can do? Instead of running to the guys maybe he should run to me.
I think I want to tell him to live on his own for a time and get his life together. I think I need to be without him for a time.
This sounds like a good plan. If he protests that he's going to do this or that for you - remind him he can still woo you from his own apartment if so inclined. (And you can decide, at that time, whether you're interested in dating him or not).
Also - beware any attempts to soothe you that are just to provide cover for him to raid the finances. Stand your ground about the financial stuff.
Re: The end of a marriage
#2324360 02/22/1307:02 PM02/22/1307:02 PM
H has been pleading for me to give another. chance. Told him I found a receipt for a restaurant from 2 weeks ago. Said he went with a guy. Wouldn't give a name. I said you paid for dinner the other person had hot tea that's a woman. He said what of we did? You're going to go crazy over this . Every time I answer you get upset. I told him he's got to face my upset. This lie is another nail in the coffin . Said he can't afford to move. Texted the ow told her what she helped do. She's a cold fish.
IMHO, your H isn't ready to come back to the M. He's still lying, so what does that say about any future with him now. He does need to be on his own, for his sake and yours.
This is hard won experience for me. My H ... never mind, just take my word for it.
Just remember, it's your life ... not his, or ours, or your parents. YOURS ... do what you feel would be the right thing, then follow through. If you don't, you'll be backwards and forwards, and your H will use you anyway he can, at any given time when thinks you're vulnerable.
Take care, and stand firm.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
I texted ow. She says she broke it off in July. She said shes been in a serious relationship since then.I asked her why continued contact. She said they had a lot in common. She said the texts were brief. I told her what she did to my family and how she did what she claims her ex husband did. That is to lie and betray. I called her cruel. She said she's not cruel and she told me things from her side and she has no feeling for my h like that. I ended the conversation by saying she was cold, lying and deceitful.
My h told me he lied about dinner with her because he talked to the atty who told him to say nothing. My h won't leave because he can't afford it. Doesnt want to stay at his moms cuz her sistet is dyiing and shes already stressed out. he dorsnt want to add this to the mix.He told me he took the money out of that investment acct to pay bills and the company had to mail it. He told me he would show me the check. That it was for a couple thousand.H told me me it was like he's been liviming in an illusion. He cried this morning because he's under terrible pressure at work and because of all the wayps he failed. FINALLY I see some remorse! He hated that he cried. I told hm I should be able to see that and it shows some sincerity . Cuz he rarely cried . Thinks its weak. Said he is not contesting the divorce and is begging for another chance. Promises to make changes. I still love this man