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Joined: Dec 2012
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Thanks Tallula. I get what you're saying, and I am amazed at myself. Try sitting in the same room with your cheating H watching a movie because you want the kids to be with him, but they dont' want to be alone with him yet (or maybe just want me near so I don't "disappear"--who knows). Popping popcorn and baking cookies. This is because he has no place to entertain them himself. So I welcome him into our home. I am a flipping saint!

But I still don't feel like I have any choice. I feel that strongly. My morals or ethics or whatever wouldn't let me stoop that low to in any way harm my boys directly or indirectly. My fantasy life and scheming all kinds of delicious revenge is VERY active. But I know that I would never act on it. Wouldn't give them the pleasure of being persecuted.

Living well is the best revenge, and that is the way I intend to live. I still wish I could fast forward to a year from now. The stress of this life is wearing me down. When the boys play their wii--probably too much---I lay on the sofa wrapped up in a blanket and watch dumb tv. Then I feel recharged. I am blessed with many many friends and they lift me up and support me. I have a team of people ready to do ANYTHING in the revenge department. Again, will NOT take them up on their offers, but lovely to know that people would do anything for me. H can't say the same.

and that makes me strangely sad. I am such a softie, I can't take myself.

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Quote:
Try sitting in the same room with your cheating H watching a movie because you want the kids to be with him, but they dont' want to be alone with him yet (or maybe just want me near so I don't "disappear"--who knows). Popping popcorn and baking cookies. This is because he has no place to entertain them himself. So I welcome him into our home. I am a flipping saint!


Tig,

This is a hard row to hoe. I did this for years. My H didn't cheat, but circumstances were such that I did this to facilitate his visiting D's. Was it right? I will never know. I do know it was hard on me.

I don't know that you are a softie. I think you see a bigger picture.

HUGS

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It is really really hard. H changed his mind and said he will continue to visit across the street though in theory be staying at my mom's empty house....for appearances sake perhaps...He said he is free to see the boys tomorrow except tomorrow night. I said we are free tomorrow night (we planned a day trip). So he said well I guess I won't see the boys then. Priorities. in subtle ways, H choses OW over his boys. I have a hard time with this. H has a new life that he chose. My new life was dumped on me, and it's overwhelming. H says he is an adult with the right to go out, socialize with friends (remember he has none--so these must be OW friends) and be with OW. I am an adult too yet I have no freedom to do any of this since I am left home picking up the pieces of my kids' broken hearts.

Grace you're a saint too. I have a very hard time with H seeking so much advice from me with regards to the boys. He should decide on his own what to do, not look to me for every detail.

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