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Yes Virginia, there is a Posting Clause and I apologize for exceeding its limit.


"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib
Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12
Bomb and OM 12/15/06
Separated 01/02/07
Divorced 05/13/08
X married OM(OMH) 08/2009
Married 06/09/13
Joined: Dec 2007
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sleeper Offline OP
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Gabby, our situation is "joint shared custody" it's the most perfect 50/50 in our state. We alternate "from week to week" and since we've been swapping Mondays after school for her to take them from my custody without my permission on a Sunday evening was violating the court order. That was the conclusion of the responding police that evening. The court order states no specific time of day custody is transferred but since she removed them one day early against my wishes and instruction she is in violation. If a specific time of day had been documented they said they could have charged her with a crime and removed the children from her and returned them to me.

I can only assume from your comment you have a higher (even if only slightly) degree of custody of your children than your X. If the situation you describe existed everywhere then X's could remove children everytime they attended a birthday party, field trip, sleepover or attended school without the custodial parent's presence.


"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib
Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12
Bomb and OM 12/15/06
Separated 01/02/07
Divorced 05/13/08
X married OM(OMH) 08/2009
Married 06/09/13
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,843
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sleeper Offline OP
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Gabby, here's another factor. When she first blew up at me on the phone she said she was coming to my house to get the children. I told her she could not and it was "my time" with them. I continued telling her they weren't home with me anyway at that moment because I was sick. She then demanded to know where they were and I told her they were at fiancee's and that I was going to pick them up from fiancée at 8:00 PM (fiancé and I had agreed to that time). X then went to fiancée's and took the children without my permission or approval. The kids and I lost Christmas Eve time together and tradition of several years due to her action.


"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib
Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12
Bomb and OM 12/15/06
Separated 01/02/07
Divorced 05/13/08
X married OM(OMH) 08/2009
Married 06/09/13
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,843
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sleeper Offline OP
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It's not. Our custody agreement is very brief and simple, if not ambiguous due to the 50/50 situation. Ambiguous that a time of day and location is not specified for transfer of custody from week to week, simple that there are few situations addressed.

She has violated the requirement to keep me informed of medical issues as she has unilaterally begun to take kids to a counselor without informing me ( I discovered by accident due to an appointment scheduled during "my time"). She says she is taking them for "blended family issues they have" although I suspect the only issues are X's due to my and fiancée's family being blended. I suspect she is stirring the pot and fishing for something to file for full custody when we are we'd. She often opines concern for our kids safety when I am wed and has declared her children will never live under the same roof as fiancée's. There is no justification for such as X and I have dated for 4 years and our kids have been around each other for 3 years even going on camping trips (separate cabins or tents) during that time.

Control issues, jealousy, phobias, projected childhood experiences? Who knows?


"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib
Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12
Bomb and OM 12/15/06
Separated 01/02/07
Divorced 05/13/08
X married OM(OMH) 08/2009
Married 06/09/13
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,896
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sleeper, probably all of the above. In a sitch like yours where your X is violating the custody order, I would suggest putting your plans in email with your X. Decide ahead of time, a week or 2 before the holidays what your plans will be and inform your X of them by email. This also gives you a handy record you can use for court if it would ever come to that.

Also, when she calls you are not required to give her an itinerary of where your kids are or what they are doing imo. Also, I do not believe your X can do anything about custody regarding you marrying, unless your fiancee is a drug addict or convicted felon or something that would endanger your children in some way. Peace,

Karen


Me 53
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Scylla and Charybdis.....

Tomorrow will be the first time in years I will have my kids for New Years Eve. X prompted kids to text/call me this PM requesting they go to her friends house for NYE celebration. DD was invited for sleepover with her "friend" ( long story ). X texted/called as well. I declined the requests.

Bottom line...DD wants badly to go, called back crying. DD's "friend" is a bad influence who stole from her. X wants DD to go because "friend's" father is friend of OMH.

I held my ground, saying no, looking like the bad guy.


"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib
Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12
Bomb and OM 12/15/06
Separated 01/02/07
Divorced 05/13/08
X married OM(OMH) 08/2009
Married 06/09/13
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 146
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Can your daughter do her own sleep over with a different friend? And have you spoken to her about friendships and how a real friend doesn't steal from others?

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It's normal maturing teenager teachable moment as far as I'm concerned. I was pleased X and I agreed on response last summer when "friend" stole from DD (and X too). Now we disagree but I'm going to do what I think is right.


"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib
Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12
Bomb and OM 12/15/06
Separated 01/02/07
Divorced 05/13/08
X married OM(OMH) 08/2009
Married 06/09/13
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 13,511
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I admit I'm biased b/c I'm a L (but a nice person!)

but wouldn't most of this be solved by seeing a Lawyer and getting it ALL hammered out?

I only saw this recent thread so maybe I missed some of your w's objections...but unless your fiancee is somehow unfit (UNlikely)

then your Xwife will have few arguments to make in favor of HER getting more custody.

Judges have seen this type of reaction before; sadly, it's not that unusual.

With a wacky ex like yours, I'd think of spending the money on a lawyer as "family insurance" and peace of mind , so that your new marriage can have that many FEWER problems...

and with an ex like yours, NOT getting this formally worked out is almost reckless. Good luck and Happy New Year, and I mean it!


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change
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sleeper Offline OP
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"reckless"? I've been told the lawyer that represented me in the D "sucked" and you're absolutely right. "Good fences make good neighbors".


"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib
Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12
Bomb and OM 12/15/06
Separated 01/02/07
Divorced 05/13/08
X married OM(OMH) 08/2009
Married 06/09/13
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