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Great post! Nice to see where you are at.

Oh...and I so get the "know where to get my d's nails done" thing.

Eric


"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".
"Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!"
"Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
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So many thoughts to process after reading this thread. I seen a few of you mentioned "the old" S, do you mean that they have changed so much that they are no longer the person that you knew? Or that you have "detached" yourself and because you are no longer a part of each others lives, it feels like you don't know them anymore? I hope that makes sense, I'm confused like never before.


M: 29, H: 31
D: 9
S: 8
T: 13 Y
M: 9 Y
ILYBIDKIILWY 12/09/2012
~~~~
Worrying does not empty tomorrow
of its troubles. ~~~ it Emptys today of its strengths
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Nice update.
Funny, I could have written most of that myself,
except I still haven't dated. Kinda enjoy being "free".
Good luck to all,
Pic.


Me 53 XW 50
M 18 Years +2
S14 D19
Bomb 10-24-10
Served 1-27-11
Mediate 4-21-11
Civil D Final 6-2-11
No church anullment
"A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
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Hi Lisa.7. Perhaps posting in the forum what your situation is would help?

Take a look for some posts by Cadet. He has a lot of reading that past folks have written that are worth reading.

As for them being "different" - a lot of that has to do with the process. This is a MLC forum, but essentially the person you "thought" you knew, is no longer that person. They do things 180 degrees differently now. Think differently. Smell differently. Act differently. They are, in essence not the same person we "knew".

Some of it is also that we detach and view them differently of course.

So all in all, it is a combination of things that lead to that.

Psychologists reason that a person wears a "mask" or many masks during their lifetime. That's part of their perceived identity. For instance, when somebody wants to impress you, they act differently and "wear a mask" acting like somebody they think you want to see. It goes deeper though. That person wears a "mask" to themselves as well. At some point in their development, they remove the "mask" and show who they truly are.

An interesting article: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-search-self/201111/man-and-his-mask

Make sense?

AJ


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK
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"Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
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Thanks Seminole, for the post-it gives me hope for myself smile.

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Found this very interesting.

Seminolewind you PMA and GAL and "just carry on" attitude are right on track with how I am trying to think and behave. Plus the idea of looking at our own role in the R

And AJM that info about masks...just last week my IC asked me if I thought H was actually showing his true self after years of trying to meet expectations "wearing a mask"


Me46, H49, D17, D11
M22, T25
BD Dec26 2011
he moved out Feb29 2012
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I am really surprised this thread has not had more posts...Great Stuff! TYSM.


BD OM EA 9/2013
ICAYBDNLY 10/2013
I Move out 1/2014
Separation draft sent 5/2014
S13 S13 S9
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Love this initial post. Great, great read!

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love it!


Me: 35
Her: 33
D : 16
S : 9
Together: 14 years
Married: 12
She left 4/14/2014
Separated: 5/25/2014
OM Confirmed 7/2014
She filed 8/7/2014
I Filed 10/21/2014
Divorce final 2/12/2015
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Great post


me 46, w 46
D22, S14
M 2, T 23
WAW 3/11
ILYBINILWY 3/14
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