Oh wow! My h had been taking Zoloft and then decided to double his dosage on his own idea. And then started drinking more. Not too li g after he left me and the kids. He was so detached it was spooky.
Ugh. I just joined this forum after getting the Divorce Busting book. My wife has been on Buproprion/Wellbutrin since November and in march or so started cutting off our relationship - no holding hands, sleeping right on the far edge of the bed, etc etc. 3 months ago she said we needed to work on things, and proceeded to tell me how to change as a person to be more compatible with her. I busted my ass doing everything I could. Nothing was good enough. I went out and got a marriage-helping kit (the book was in this) and paid for some very expensive, non-refundable counseling. The day before we were to begin on our marriage improvement, she said no dice. It wasn't worth it. That was a week ago.
I have long suspected that the pills were at least partly to blame; Lauren isn't good at talking about problems but I know her very well and can tell when she has a problem. We had, for the most part, an amazing relationship.
Now she wants to sell the house and divorce. Of course the day after she made the decision we spent an evening out on the patio hanging out. It was a great time and she cried for having so much fun. Clearly she is confused, and I am at my wit's end. I want to save this, but she won't listen to me. I need to get other people involved, to tell her that maybe the drugs are messing with her because if I tell her she views it as an attack instead of opinion, idea, or advice.
Ugh. I just joined this forum after getting the Divorce Busting book. My wife has been on Buproprion/Wellbutrin since November and in march or so started cutting off our relationship - no holding hands, sleeping right on the far edge of the bed, etc etc. 3 months ago she said we needed to work on things, and proceeded to tell me how to change as a person to be more compatible with her. I busted my ass doing everything I could. Nothing was good enough. I went out and got a marriage-helping kit (the book was in this) and paid for some very expensive, non-refundable counseling. The day before we were to begin on our marriage improvement, she said no dice. It wasn't worth it. That was a week ago.
I have long suspected that the pills were at least partly to blame; Lauren isn't good at talking about problems but I know her very well and can tell when she has a problem. We had, for the most part, an amazing relationship.
Now she wants to sell the house and divorce. Of course the day after she made the decision we spent an evening out on the patio hanging out. It was a great time and she cried for having so much fun. Clearly she is confused, and I am at my wit's end. I want to save this, but she won't listen to me. I need to get other people involved, to tell her that maybe the drugs are messing with her because if I tell her she views it as an attack instead of opinion, idea, or advice.
Precord
Welcome to the forum.
Can I ask you to please start your own thread so we can give you as much help as possible.
OMG! My wife went from loving, caring, balanced to very cold uncaring and downright mean when confronted. We started to have problems in August 2014 and BD by her at the end of May 2015. Shortly after BD I found a prescription in her name for Lorazapram from earlier in 2014. I googled it and found it was for anxiety and sleep problems. I thought it was strange but remembered that she did mention some trouble sleeping. She continued acting irrational and cold. Two weeks later I found another prescription for Torazodone from July 2015 in her name. I googled that one and found that it was for more severe depression and anxiety! What is going on? She never told me she was depressed or had anxiety and never told me she was taking these meds! Does anyone think that these meds are partly/largely to blame for her severe personality change and going from loving to hating in a year? What can I do? If she goes off these, how long until she is back to normal?
M: 48 W: 45 Married: 16 years D1-14, D2-11, D3-9 BD: May 29 She moved out 2 weeks later with kids Awaiting mediation
Duke, Lorazapram is not an SSRI. Not sure about Torazadone, I think that is an antidepressant so it might be an SSRI.
My H started lexapro in December, and by Feb he went from being depressed to raging at me, drinking heavily, having an affair, basically 180 personality change. I always wondered if the lexapro triggered it. He was depressed to start with though, and if I bring it up he says the lex helps and the problems that caused the depression are the issues and the lexapro is helping. I am not convinced but I can't control the meds that he takes.
This is an old post, I wonder if there is any new info on this?
I think I am in the same boat. The few people I have told said either I should talk with her about it or they will. I think this will just make her very mad. Maybe talk with a psychiatrist or someone who understands this issue very well? If you google this issue there are tons of examples.
M: 48 W: 45 Married: 16 years D1-14, D2-11, D3-9 BD: May 29 She moved out 2 weeks later with kids Awaiting mediation
I joined this forum just so I could reply to this particular topic. YES, these meds can cause the end of relationships....and a whole host of other problems. My husband was put on an SSRI med for anxiety. He had LOTS of childhood issues he kept suppressing which caused anxiety his whole life. If a med is powerful enough to cause him to not feel any of the bad, it can also stop a person from feeling any of the good! Think of antibiotics--how it destroys even the good bacteria in your gut because it can't differentiate between good and bad.
We'd been married 20 yrs at the time when he went on the med. I wasn't told to watch for any changes in him. We were just glad to see his anxiety under control. Then came the alcoholism (it gave him intense cravings he couldn't ignore) and the inability to feel the buzz (so he stopped knowing when he'd had too much to drink), p0rn addiction, disinhibition, poor judgement, and on-and-on. When he started behaving inappropriately, I was about done with him. I blamed it all on the alcohol (but sometimes he wasn't drunk when he did things), but then something happened that made me wonder about his Rx med. I did some research and was totally shocked and horrified at the things I was finding. Somehow, he was receptive to weaning off the med (it's been 2.5 years, and we're still weaning him off--I'd read horror stories of withdrawals gone wrong, etc., so we decided low and slow to try and keep him functional and off any meds). At half off he said he could feel a blanket lift from his mind; a little bit more and he apologized for all the crap that had hurt me, saying that it "wasn't him, not who I am". He said that he could see NOW that what he'd done was wrong but he couldn't at the time and would've argued that it wasn't the meds (while still on them). These meds hijack proper thinking in some people. And when you're on them, you can't see the change happening to yourself.
He didn't leave, but he couldn't have cared less if I had packed up and walked out during that time. And, it felt like to me that he was trying to chase me off by his actions and uncontrolled drinking.
Anyway, I just wanted to share this in case it can help someone else. Some people don't realize what's happening to their medicated partners' minds and don't know that maybe they should be looking in that direction (of the med being culpable in dissolving marriages). I started researching for the connection between SSRIs and alcohol (which I found) and then I learned about the rest of it (and the need for slow w/d).
Last edited by Cadet; 03/16/1706:57 AM. Reason: removed website not allowed per TOS
I joined this forum just so I could reply to this particular topic. YES, these meds can cause the end of relationships....and a whole host of other problems. My husband was put on an SSRI med for anxiety. He had LOTS of childhood issues he kept suppressing which caused anxiety his whole life. If a med is powerful enough to cause him to not feel any of the bad, it can also stop a person from feeling any of the good! Think of antibiotics--how it destroys even the good bacteria in your gut because it can't differentiate between good and bad.
We'd been married 20 yrs at the time when he went on the med. I wasn't told to watch for any changes in him. We were just glad to see his anxiety under control. Then came the alcoholism (it gave him intense cravings he couldn't ignore) and the inability to feel the buzz (so he stopped knowing when he'd had too much to drink), p0rn addiction, disinhibition, poor judgement, and on-and-on. When he started behaving inappropriately, I was about done with him. I blamed it all on the alcohol (but sometimes he wasn't drunk when he did things), but then something happened that made me wonder about his Rx med. I did some research and was totally shocked and horrified at the things I was finding. Somehow, he was receptive to weaning off the med (it's been 2.5 years, and we're still weaning him off--I'd read horror stories of withdrawals gone wrong, etc., so we decided low and slow to try and keep him functional and off any meds). At half off he said he could feel a blanket lift from his mind; a little bit more and he apologized for all the crap that had hurt me, saying that it "wasn't him, not who I am". He said that he could see NOW that what he'd done was wrong but he couldn't at the time and would've argued that it wasn't the meds (while still on them). These meds hijack proper thinking in some people. And when you're on them, you can't see the change happening to yourself.
He didn't leave, but he couldn't have cared less if I had packed up and walked out during that time. And, it felt like to me that he was trying to chase me off by his actions and uncontrolled drinking.
Anyway, I just wanted to share this in case it can help someone else. Some people don't realize what's happening to their medicated partners' minds and don't know that maybe they should be looking in that direction (of the med being culpable in dissolving marriages). I started researching for the connection between SSRIs and alcohol (which I found) and then I learned about the rest of it (and the need for slow w/d).
Unfortunately their are no easy buttons, pills or easy fixes, when it comes to these issues.
The person can use these things to look inside themselves and FIX their own issues but a pill by iteself only hides the problem, and likely prolongs the issues.
OH MY! I found this thread and this is my situation to a tee!
Caught my wife of 19 years in an online, emotional affair. When I confronted her she immediately told me she didn't want to be married anymore.
Found out she had dating profiles on 2 different datings sites, had sent this younger man 3 sets of nude pictures, and other destructive and completely out of character behavior.
Last night talking to her about recently sending messages to younger men on a dating site, she said exasperatedly "I don't know what I am doing!"
A lightbulb went on in my head. She's been on Zoloft for 10 years and Wellbutrin for 5. Couple that with a midlife crisis (she turns 50 next month) and bam. I googled antidepressants and infidelity and the hits were off the chart, including this thread.
I talked to her about all of this and she is open to discussing weaning herself off of the meds with her doctor to see if that makes a difference. Why isn't this more commonly known!? How many lives have been ruined due to these drugs??
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I talked to her about all of this and she is open to discussing weaning herself off of the meds with her doctor to see if that makes a difference. Why isn't this more commonly known!? How many lives have been ruined due to these drugs??
I suggest you start your own thread to discuss this about your situation.
When you do that I will post my welcome post which I suggest your read.
So you think if she goes off anti depressants your marriage will be saved?
I think not, I think she will become more depressed.
