Wow, it's been 2 months. Nuthin' new to add. Life goes on.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Today would have my 20th anniversary. No emotions for me though. And no mention from either of us this AM. Odd, really.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Well, I have noticed XW behaving a little differently lately, like actually acknowledging my presence/existance. Says "hello" and "good morning." gasp ! Saturday night she actually called me (I was a at some friend's house watching fooball) to let me know she and S13 were going to see Argo and D18 was off to a halloween party. That kind of "touching base" with me is a first since the D. Seriously.
Oddly, the effect on me has been all negative. I catch myself wondering if she's finally seeing the loonacy of her MLC and life choices, and then I either get pissed off at myself for allowing my thoughts to go there or I get pissed at her for putting me through hell back in 2010/11 - or both.
I find that I am really emotionally better off just in the firm belief that she's gone, it's over, and that's it. In fact, since the D, I have been happy to be "free". I kinda dread the idea of her "emerging from the fog." Does that make any sense?
It does to me, 'cause deep down I think I am still really very disappointed/angry with her and whole world for the broken, fvcked up situation I found myself up in, and her being "nice" keeps me from moving beyond all that.
Anywho, still coping. Pic.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Reading over my post from last month, I can see that there's still some (for lack of a better word) "attachment."
Last week at mass after communion I was praying and got the distinct impresssion that in spite of XW warming up a little bit, I still need to put distance between us.
Just from reading my last post I can see why. The word I remember clearly is "distance." Not sure how that all works being roommates and all, but I think I'll begin with controlling my own thoughts and daydreams and go from there.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
lotta respect for what you're doing Pickle. hang in there
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Hi Pickle! Just had a few minutes to read up on sitches I have missed...looks like your are still traipsing through some sort of limboland with a divorce not quite...good luck, I hope one of these days it all works out....
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
Hi Angel61, long time no hear from. I don't even know where your thread is anymore, MLC still? How's piecing coming. Hope it's all working out or at least heading in a good direction.
Yeah, I'm in limbo land. It's tough, but for my S13 I'll walk through hot coals. I've pretty much given up on reconcilliation. Just waiting now for the next stage in the D. I didn't make her move out when D18 graduated HS; send the 2x4's I understand. Sounds stupid I know.
That day will come, and at our age you know how time flies, we'll do what divorced people do soon enough, which is really part company. I'm fine where I'm at, bigger fish to fry with this lousy economy and the job and all. So I am sort of moving on as best as circumstances allow.
You can probably tell 'cause I don't post very often or even read the sitches much. I can't really offer much to people struggling to hold it together here. All I can say is once the emotional upheaval simmers down, D is not the end of the world, and for me it's been a sort of liberation.
The close proximity of XW is a challenge though, as you can tell from my last posts, but in my judgment the best thing for S13 for the time being, so I'm up to the task. Moving forward.
Love, Pic.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
