im glad to hear you are reaching your goals.. i am too. only thing is, i think i am now a WAH.. i dont care anymore. i am GAL like crazy. i went on a date. it is a really wierd story. i enjoyed myself alot. i am still exercising and checking in here off and on.
lmao...oh it is gossip.. its a jerry springer story. i dont really care about backlash. like i said.. i fear i might be walking away. i am sick of sitting around hoping for something that might not ever be. beating myself up and all that. i want to be happy and have fun. that is who i am. i am getting back to me. i have learned and am going to continue to learn. i have alot to offer and women do like me. i have been getting hit on alot lately and it feels good. so instead of worrying about everything i just lived for the day. it was actually very nice.
so here goes..scouring aint gonna do any good. lol..anyway. so remember i contacted W of OM about info? well she has been txting me a bunch, talking about stuff. then she asked me to come over and hang out with her and her friends. i dont have any friends here really, so i did. had a good time. i was calm and confident. the normal me. hung out for like 6 hrs. she is kind of seeing someone, so i didnt hit on her at all. just had fun. now i would be a liar if i said i wasnt attracted to her. she is 100% my type. not taller than me, hair that i like, dresses nice, has tattoos..she is funny, kinda crazy has a great laugh and amazing eyes.
so i had fun. next day she was txting me all day. that night we went disc golfing with a bunch of people then to my house and hung out. next day she asked me if i wanted to do something with her. i did so i picked her up. took her out to dinner at this kinda wierd place that i love. good food. its got a wierd menu of healthy tasty stuff and is really a cool place to go. she has lived here her whole life and has never been. she really enjoyed herself and thanked me. i told her there was nothing to thank me for. i did it so we could have a good time and relax. i had a great time.
well the guy she is kind of seeing flipped out and is acting like a fool. they are not serious and neither are we. she came over last night. watched some comedy show and just talked. i really enjoy spending time with her. now i know this is not an ideal sitch and not dbing..im not trying to expect anything. i am hanging out because i enjoy her company. i am not trying to make W mad. i am not trying to be in a R with her. nothing physical happened. i am not ready for that. see where it goes. idk. im not overthinking this. just living my life.
theres the dirt..now you have to share so im not the only one getting 2x4ed..lmao!!!
Okay it's after midnight and u should go to sleep.:.but.....my fear is she is way too close to your sitch. If you have a lot of women hitting on you why her? The OM's W? It nice to be reminded that you can be attractive and desirable to someone. And I remember a time when you said that you were never going to love again so I'm glad that thinking is out the window!
Ages ago before I found this board I had been a member of an online dating site and I had met a few guys there. Once I started db'ing i cancelled it and even one of my friends said that she thought I was using it as a distraction. There was one guy who had my email address and he was working abroad. He emailed me every few weeks or so nothing flirty just friendly pictures of where he was sometimes I'd reply sometimes not. When he came home he asked if I'd like to meet up so I thought why not? I had no expectations, I couldn't really remember his pictures.
I had a lot of fun! And he wanted to see me again. But between my other GAL and work I was worrying how to fit in family time. And what dating looks like now that i'm a single mom of a teenager. The day we planned to go out again he got a call that he had to work abroad for 3 more weeks. He took me out for drinks and dinner at a very romantic nice restaurant. And said that he wanted to see me when he got back. I'm not so sure. Nice guy, not the smartest tool in the shed, I don't like that he'd be away so much.....even though I don't know how much of my life i'd want to give up.
its not midnight here..lol.. yeah she is close to the sitch. like i said.. i have no epectations and am not really pursuing anything. i am attracted to her and am curious. i am in no hurry for anything.
your guy sounds nice, but might be tough to deal with. i worked on the road alot and that was a huge problem in my M. not the smartest tool? that doesnt sound good. you are very smart. just sounds awkward is all. im glad you are enjoying yourself and seeing what life has to offer. keep it up brit! i am still rootin for you!
sd - it's too obvious - the OM's ex? c'mon!! you don't really expect us to believe it's mere coincidence. get honest with yourself! i've been following your sitch, and i can't imagine that in just a few months you are so detached and distanced from all the hurt that your w caused you that this woman just happens to be around.
take care of yourself sd - tread carefully here. whether you've given up on your marriage or not, you mustn't give up on taking care of yourself. and taking care of yourself, means taking care of your feelings and working through them and doing the work. besides what is she upto? you are her ex's ow's h!! there's messed up here, and before you bite off more than you can chew, you need to inspect what's really going on here.
brit - here comes yours!! something in what you wrote is signaling to me that you are just going along with it - without much heart.
do you have trouble saying no? (like i used to?) it's an insidious underlying belief some of us have about ourselves - that we can't say no. - at least that's my latest new awareness (grin)
too many negatives in your description of the guy...
btw - both of you - you were commiserating with each other on some level. very telling!! not telling about your db'ing efforts, but telling about maybe the possibility that deep down you both know that this isn't completely right for either of you
ok - couldn't find the cotton wool, while i wrote that - but you know i love you guys anyway (clumsy attempt to soften the whacks!!)
hugs zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
lmao...im sorry...i find it funny..my sitch anyway..i am detached.. i am done beating myself up. she cant do a whole lot more to hurt me. maybe she isnt trying to. either way, i am happy for her. she seems happy from what i hear.
i am not defending or making excuses. i am taking care of myself. this woman likes talking to me and wanted to do something, so i did. i dont know what her motives are. i dont really care. i wasnt trying to sleep with her. we had food and good conversation. she is totally my type so that made it all the more fun. are we going to do it again..who knows? was it coincedence that we met? not at all. i contacted her about OM. from there it went.
am i taking care of myself? yes i am. i am not expecting anything out of this. i had dinner. i had fun. would i do it again? more than likely. am i pursuing her? not at all. i am responding when i feel like it. in regards to my marriage. its dead. i havent given up. i am just not trying to save it. i cant talk to W. protection order and all. frankly i dont know if i want her back. her actions have been disgusting and hurt me a great deal. even now with the PO she sends me rude nasty texts. i dont even talk to her and havent for about 2 weeks. i have dropped the rope and i am being selfish and thinking about me. what can i do to be happy? what can i do to be a great dad? that is where my focus is. would i bring a woman around my kids as a girlfriend or a date. no way. totally unfair. when i dont have them it is nice to do stuff with people.
im sorry that i find it amusing. you gotta admit it is totally jerry springer stuff. lol i am trying to find humor and happiness. im sick of lonliness and hurt. i am laughing right now and smiling. i dont think its a bad thing. maybe ive just lost my mind. who knows. i do appreciate the concern and i am being careful. i know what i want in a R. i know what i want in a W. im never going to find either if i dont try and think negative all the time.
i can either cry all the time or laugh and smile. im sick of crying and smiling feels good right now. my heart deserves a smile once in a while. not because of this woman. because i am getting back to the real me. with improvements. my confidence is coming back. my negativity is going away. =)
Okay here's all the good stuff....he gave butterflies thinking about him after the first date, he's very good looking, he has the cutest accent, he was very complimentary and attentive, he's interesting, very travelled, close to his family, said he'd take a job with his company here if he met someone, but.......it was just two dates. I don't have a problem saying no. I have ended dates after an hour if i didn't like the guy. My time is valuable. Because we'd emailed on and off i did think it wiuld be nice to meet as friends. Unlike in the past I didn't self sabotage, I didn't jump in too quick, I enjoyed his company. I think it was a toe in the water. I don't really see a future for us. I'm not going to compromise any more when I meet a man. I think it had been a long long time since I'd sat across from someone at a nice dinner without anxiety (which is how all my post separation dates felt....but I kept running with those blinders on) and enjoyed conversation, flirting, holding hands.
