Accuray, I think you were asking the right questions. I did have one more weekend with H where we had a "sexual encounter"...but nothing crazy.

Since then, H has now been gone 9 days including a vacation with OW last weekend (he wouldn't tell me where). While he was gone, I had a very fun night out with men from my firm and "made out" with one of them. It was fantastic from the perspective of this man making me feel sexy, beautiful, etc. After that, I have been feeling much more detached from H and I am having a hard time imagining being sexual with him. I just think I've lost so much respect for him.

So, not sure what this will mean for me being responsive to H. H knows after his trip and after continuing his A for over 3 months since I found out about it, he is on thin ice. I've told him he needs to move out after the holidays.

I'm also to the point where I wonder if I'm better off starting over and doing the right things to avoid a SSM rather than trying to prove to my affair crazed H that I can change...


M 44, H 46
D11, D9, D5
Married 12 years
PA confirmed 9/2011
I filed 3/2012
H moved out 7/2012