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"I found you! Didnt realise you were still posting."

I was posting in my normal place. I did not think I was that hard to find. But I am glad you posted.

"You know what my dear friend? You are sooooo stuck. Both of you but mostly you (mostly because I dont "talk to her")."

I am stuck.. you have that much right. I doubt that she feels much different than I do. You "hear" from her in my posts. I take responsibility for my actions.

I am walking away.

"So, what are we going to do?"

Something Different?

Check.

"IMHO, you cant do much at this point. Because you sound like you dont have the energy to."

I don't. If there was something to "see" then I likely could find the energy. This is not a choice that I made "today". It is the outcome of the "stitch" I find myself in.

"I sense a lot of "entitlement", grudges, etc etc. Not in a vindictive way."

I am "entitled" Kalni. That is why you sense it. I have every reason in the book to dump this M. I feel like I have been carrying the flag for a long time. At times I question if I carried the flag too high. I am not trying to prove a point.. I am just done. I am not the person that I am supposed to be living like this.

"In the way that most LBSs would feel if they had to face the same sh!t twice."

4-5 times.. who is counting.

"Move out, calm down, really calm down, miss her and THEN save your M."

I hope I miss her. This is the calmest I have been in a long time. It is a good choice. I am almost sure that there is more to the story. And I have not "stalked" at all. I have had alot of stress in my life that past few weeks.. but this just feels.. "right"?

"Moving out may not follow the rule of not moving out your house but it follows the rule of "do something different and feel good about yourself again"."

I don't know that DB.com has ever said that moving out was bad.. or wrong. From my point of view it is a option. It can create a chance to "change" things. I already feel good about myself. I am not the guy that she "says" I am. I am not the guy that deserves what I have been given.

We sign the papers tomorrow. And I move out June 1st. I am walking away from alot but she is to. It is a reasonable parting of ways. We have told the kids and so far I have not seen them act "crazy".

What can I say other than..

Off we go.


Relax
Eat
Think
Act normal
React.. Smartly.
Do something different.
Emulate.
Do Work.

Lets get "RETARDED" in here.


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"We sign the papers tomorrow. \"
What exactly are these "papers"? I've picked up a lot about Family Law in the last 4+ years - you simply don't just say "papers". Granted the State you live in has very unique and nice "old fashioned" laws - there has to be proven "grounds" - adultery, abandonment, cruelty, etc. and you have to live at least 1 year apart and property is not simply divided in half. And so I hope you understand what exactly you are getting into. This woman can turn nasty on you a few miles down the road. And June 1st - how strange - that's the day in 2007 my W was forced to move out.

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(((ForestGump)))
I so understand what you are saying. I hope the outcome is better than you hope or expect. All the best my friend.


BITS
Me-51, WAS-52
Kids 2
M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013
Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice.
Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
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"What exactly are these "papers"?"

It is a separation agreement it includes things like child custody, payments, who gets the house, things like that FB2. Yes I am being somewhat elusive in the term but I don't think I need to go into a lot of detail. VA is a "No Fault State" as long as you both agree to "Irreconcilable Differences" then there is not much more needed. We do have to go the year separated because of the kids. My D will be 17 in a few months my S will be 9 this year. We have agreed on a 50/50 custody she will be the primary caregiver. She would not agree to move out and felt it was necessary to keep the kids in the house... going to the same school and everything. I don't disagree. I have some "anger" about walking away from the house but I am OK with it. I have spent a lot of time fixing it up and making it nice. It is just disappointing to leave all that behind. The document will protect me and her in this time. I know what to do as far as protecting myself. Remember, I research everything before I jump. Really when it comes down to it the only thing I could "loose" I have already given away. (House)

As much as I hate this situation.. I don't know that I would have done much differently. We have proved that money was not our issue. We have proved that it just comes down to me and her and the ideas of what a "perfect" life is. Maybe my goals are too low.. maybe hers are too lofty. I just know that it comes down to the choices we have made together. I have learned a lot from all this "crap" and it has and will mold me into a better person.

Thanks for being there FB2.


Relax
Eat
Think
Act normal
React.. Smartly.
Do something different.
Emulate.
Do Work.

Lets get "RETARDED" in here.


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"I so understand what you are saying. I hope the outcome is better than you hope or expect. All the best my friend."

Thanks for the kind words. I will catch up with you once I am moved and settled. It has just been a trying time for me the past few weeks.


Relax
Eat
Think
Act normal
React.. Smartly.
Do something different.
Emulate.
Do Work.

Lets get "RETARDED" in here.


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fb2 Offline
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<< Thanks for being there FB2.
You are welcome. You were there for me in your own way. Only you are going into it with a lot more experience, thought and awareness and not as much to loose, instead of being in the state of shock and grief as I was. And looks like you have it all mostly figured out. My S was 6 at that time, he's now 10 and I have been the primary caregiver. I still hate divorce more than anything.

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fb2 Offline
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So, how did the 1st 2 weeks go?

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Relax
Eat
Think
Act normal
React.. Smartly.
Do something different.
Emulate.
Do Work.

Lets get "RETARDED" in here.


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