We would LOVE to see you in the alt!!!! Many of us have chosen names in the alt that are very similar to our names here. If you create an account with your nome de plume and then ask to be a friend of MWD we should be able to find you. Let us know when you do that so we can look for you, OK? I think of going into the alt as kind of like entering the afterlife. You go in not knowing what to expect, and then friendly people find you and tell you how to find others. Cadet was the person who first found me and I was able to find others after that.
I DO need to post an update. I am talking with Jody on Wednesday to discuss what has happened since X-MIL's funeral. I have gone to two movies with XH and played TT twice as well. I sense a change in XH's attitude, but am trying to have no expectations. I sense that X-SIL is trying to encourage XH and me to reconnect. A week ago I prayed for direction. I think prayer is very cathartic and from a medical perspective I think prayer is very healing. I feel as though I have been stretched to my limit. XH's financial advisor invited me to church with him and his W. I went. The sermon was about how when we are in the 25th mile of a marathon, we need to ask for God's help to finish the race. Since my prayer last week, I have received several "signs" (unusual occurrences) that all seemed to indicate I should continue to DB XH.........Hopefully I can post in the next 1-2 days.
Sanderika, we are thinking about you. Please let us know when you make your account in the alt. We will watch for you.
ME48/H48MLC T 33y M 28y S16 OW 8/7/05 Bomb 8/16/05 Sep 9/05 H f'd D 10/3/08 D pp'd 1/20/09,7/24/09,12/4/09 D dismissed 2/5/10 H served me D papers again 9/4/10 D dismissed 9/26/11
Thanks - I don't do Facebook as my two younger sons are on it, and they said they would find it a bit creepy . . . . . They are so reasonable in most ways that I am fine with this.
I actually have a Facebook in my real name. I think for DB and friending to MWD they all use an assumed name that is similar to our names on this board. They all probably have two accounts.
I would not want anyone to know about my DB facebook account. I would not want H or son or family to figure it out. Maybe you could set up a secret one just for this purpose too(?) That is what I am working on doing.
I am feeling that DB is not for me anymore, I do want to maintain the friendships I have formed because of this though.
I feel like I will most likely lurk here a while longer and then simply fade away....DB does not feel right anymore, I have nothing left in my marriage to hope for.
I am working on a name that will work aside from my real account.
Just a thought for you, you have also made many friends and have given so much valuable support in your posts. You would be a welcomed member of the group for sure.
Sanderika
ME48/H48MLC T 33y M 28y S16 OW 8/7/05 Bomb 8/16/05 Sep 9/05 H f'd D 10/3/08 D pp'd 1/20/09,7/24/09,12/4/09 D dismissed 2/5/10 H served me D papers again 9/4/10 D dismissed 9/26/11
Sanderika and GAG, thank you for this suggestion, and support, and I will look into this. I was absent from the boards for a long time [more than two years] and came back with a new name, partly because I suspected that my h knew who I was in my old persona.
I found it helpful to be here while I was going through the divorce process, and I still find the journey that others are taking interesting.
I am setting up a new business at present, and also starting a blog [not about MLC!] so it would be good to tell you all about it on the alt.
Back from my trip and going away again Thurs so very busy at the moment.
Just wanted to say hello Sanderika and to tell you I have been thinking of you and to confirm GAG's suggestion to you. Btw you can have two FB accounts.
Beatrice, you can have a FB account without it intruding on your sons. You keep it private and don't add them. They can't see what you've posted and if they have private accounts you can't see what they've posted either.
It would be fun to catch up with you and here what's been happening. I think about you almost everyday and hope you are getting along very well.
I trust D had a wonderful swim meet, and your week away with her was equally wonderful.
My son is on the High School Track and Field Team so I have been spending afternoons cheering him on. It will continue to be busy for me now until mid June.
I have created a FB account. I have contacted GAG. You will notice my name for sure. I hope you find me....
(((((Hugs)))))
Sanderika
ME48/H48MLC T 33y M 28y S16 OW 8/7/05 Bomb 8/16/05 Sep 9/05 H f'd D 10/3/08 D pp'd 1/20/09,7/24/09,12/4/09 D dismissed 2/5/10 H served me D papers again 9/4/10 D dismissed 9/26/11
I haven't posted in a while but thought I would share my observations of late. My H has been back in contact since the end of Feb when he invited D and I to dinner to celebrate my birthday. Since then AoS have been very evident and he has been going with D and me to run errands etc and cooking for me if D is out. For the most part it has been warm and friendly and he has been very reliable (if he says he will, he will).
I can detect a change in him. Previously he would say, "If I have time" or "I'm busy" or "I'll see how I go". Now it's just yes or no. He's much warmer and caring.
He has shared a number of conversations about his mistakes, told me how sorry he is for the hurt to everyone and told me how this whole affair has been full of highs and lows for me, him and ow.
He has reconnected with my mother over a few days while watching D's sport.
I started to wonder about ow.... my D tells me the photos of her in his bedroom are gone but then he tells me they are still together but it probably won't last. He says it's complicated. I know he is still seeing her although he is making plans to spend time with his extended family and doing other things without her.
The ongoing pattern is that when he gets too close there'll be a small issue that H blows out of proportion and then blames me. I can see it unfolding as it happens and try as I might it results in him saying go away, leave me alone and blaming me in some way. It creates space for him. A day or so later he is fine and the AoS are back and he is warm and friendly again.
I'm feeling frustrated after the last blowup and the knowledge that he is with ow. I am tired and frustrated but on the other hand I am trying to 'hang in there' thinking ow could be on her way out or is she?? H is showing all signs of confusion here and lately I feel it's playing with my head and I'm giving it all too much attention.
I don't know if I should just throw out an ultimatum, go with the flow or go dark. I'm looking for some wisdom cos I just don't seem to have any at this point in time.
