Who am I now?

[punkin]

NotSoSunny,

Go ahead and hijack, it's Irish's thread. And thanks for all the high 5's. I can use all I can get right now.

Sounds to me that you need to set up a thread so we can all get to know you better, share experiences, offer advice.

[irishblessings]

All hijacks welcomed! They help me as well:)

Dinner out with BFF and oldest D - awesome girls' night - I am so lucky (Eric - there's one:))

Will come face to face with OW on Saturday for first time. He met her in July - less than one month after moving out. He "didn't expect to fall so quickly" for the bartender at the bar on the rough side of town who is now on disability for ??????

Anyway - I'm lucky.

[punkin]

Irish -

Just a little helpful therapy play - no harm intended. I don't know why you have to meet OW next Saturday, must have missed it. But if it's a public function, stay as calm as you can, take a long hot bubble bath. Lay back in the bubbles, and imagine knocking her head off. See, you smiled, didn't you? Think of this fantasy often, and when you meet her, hold onto that fantasy. You'll smile your way through it.

JMO- Met her in July my a$$. I may have been born on a Wednesday, but it wasn't this Wednesday. ((HUGS Irish))

[irishblessings]

My S received a 2 page letter from his dad today. Here are some excerpts -

I know that our relationship has changed to say the least. I knew that it would through all of this but I felt like it was something I had to do for both your mother’s sake and for mine. I do feel I need to let you know that if when you do come to my place you will see some influence of, and things of OW’s in it.

I have gotten close enough to OW that she has become an every day part of my life. When I left home last year I was not expecting to find, or looking for, another close female friendship or relationship. The night I met her I was looking for socialization, relaxation, and some potential new friendships. OW, a couple of her friends and I hit it off greatly and we have had an awesome time ever since! OW is smart, funny, kind, loud, tender, loving, loyal, strong, independent, and hard working. She is a huge basketball fan, college basketball fan, professional tennis fan, and an unbelievable cook! She has been through some incredibly difficult life experiences but has amazingly worked through them and lives a life that exemplifies spiritual, physical and emotional peace.

In no way has OW and/or her family taken the place of, or could ever take the place of you or the girls! I want to have a great relationship with all four of you. I do hope and expect that to happen over the course of the next couple, few years. If/when you all do give yourselves a chance to get to know OW and her family, I do believe that you will enjoy their company and will be able to have some fun, good times with them. Her daughters and grandchildren are beautiful, fun loving people. I’m sure that you cannot imagine it now but they are all looking forward to times in which we call all be together to laugh, cut up and talk about life. I talk about and brag about all three of you all the time and they can only imagine how good of people you all are. They are looking forward to the possibility of meeting all of you but at the same time understand and sympathize very deeply with what you are going through.


I am numb - devastated again. When does this stop - how do I make it stop? I feel like roadkill. The way he describes her could almost to a tee describe me. But it's not me.

[dl443322]

IB, I am sorry. I have no words. Wait, yes I do, but they wont let me use them on here.

What an inconsiderate, childish, egotistical idiot he is - writing something like that to his child.

Sweetie, you are upset over him? I'm sorry but he is an as&hole right now. And the ow is nowhere near being like you, She cant hold a candle to you.

IB, I understand how hurtful that was to read. I hope your son is ok.

You will get through this. You will. When you are ready, get back on the path.

Take good care. hang in there

[punkin]

Irish,

Ouch! I know the feeling. But I ask you. Who is her trying to convince? The man that you have described over the past year did not meet and hook up with Mrs. Brady and her three lovely daughters while in a bar. And actions speak louder than words.

It's inevitable. the kids will have to meet her one day if she sticks around, but do you think she will when the bloom is off the rose. And your son; after all this time, a 2 page letter?
Try not to let it bug you Irish. No one will ever replace you in their eyes.

Do not let this make you stumble off the path you are on. You are doing great. I think it may be time you had a girl's night out.

May I ask, how did you come to read the letter?

[AntoniaB]

IB my first question too was how did you see this letter. This is something you never should have seen because it can't do you one iota of good. Holy cow, it made me sick to my stomach nearly.

It's SO offensive on so many levels. It's a complete snow job trying to "sell" her--was he a used car salesman before and this is the worst piece of junk on the lot? Sorry, trying to make you laugh ;-)

Good, kind, loyal and trustworthy people don't need a whole paragraph of "pros" delivered to someone before the person even meets her. They can stand on their own. Only a person who knows on some level that he did a horrible thing BY YOU would try so desperately to sell the new person to your child, because if he CANNOT sell her to your child, he probably won't repair his relationship with your child. He knows that. This is desperation talking.

I don't know why you have to meet her; is it REALLY necessary? I'd hate for you to be in her presence at all. But frankly you have more dignity and poise in your little finger than she could ever have, and all I can say is that if he continues to reach out to your kids, you're going to have to NOT read anything he writes to them.

It's like you've broken from the contact and he found a way back in, and you cannot let that happen because you are doing SO well otherwise.

[irishblessings]

Thank you friends - I needed your strength. My S shared the letter with me. I did not let my S see the pain it caused me. I said "so what do you think?" - and he said "it is what it is" - I said "well he is reaching out and that is nice." Then he left for practice and I broke down.

Who was I - what was I - who am I now? Pretty appropriate thread name. Didn't see it coming. H knew that S would share this with me - he knew.

I don't know what I am doing.

[glamgirl]

Should I throw up now or later? Gosh was that a pathetic letter to your son. Almost like throwing this person into your kids lives.

Step away from the fire IB or you will get burned. IB your exh is out to lunch. That is his perception today, we all know that honey moon phase never lasts. Even if it does last, keep remembering he is a different person today and there is nothing you can do about that.

Just remember the good times forget about this person he is today.

Sorry he just can't see the light!

[Lorie1964]

IB

((((((HUGS))))) You are a strong and brave woman! I totally agree with Antonia on everything!!

Blessings!