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9 years ago our world was destroyed by a pedophile rapist. It took two years to put him in prison. He has now been there for 7 years but we have just been informed he has requested he be paroled.

Each new thread I have begun was easy to title and begin.

Not this one. I have no idea what to say but I believe it is necessary to do so as I have learned from interactions with X over the past two days this event affected her more than I had previously realized.

I'll post more when I am able.


"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib
Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12
Bomb and OM 12/15/06
Separated 01/02/07
Divorced 05/13/08
X married OM(OMH) 08/2009
Married 06/09/13
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Sleeper,

I can not imagine what you and your X must be going through with the possibility of this monster's parole.

How long was he sentenced for? I can tell you that as far as I'm concerned it could never be long enough.

How is your D doing today? I pray she has no recollection of what happened to her.

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What state is this in? Was he convicted of the actual rape, or of a lesser charge?

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sleeper Offline OP
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He was convicted of molestation. Rape carries a much higher burden of proof. He sodomized my daughter.

Our daughter choose me as a sounding board for what had happened to her (I still feel I was and am still honored by that).


"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib
Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12
Bomb and OM 12/15/06
Separated 01/02/07
Divorced 05/13/08
X married OM(OMH) 08/2009
Married 06/09/13
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,843
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sleeper Offline OP
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It's a really long story.

The perp is borderline genius, his father and brother are physicists, one works for the Feds at Oak Ridge, Tenn (I kid u not)

He was under investigation for a year before he raped my daughter (believed himself to be too smart to be caught)

Her testimony at age 35 months resulted in his arrest

His parents had the money and influence to drag the legal process out for years.

It destroyed us.


"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib
Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12
Bomb and OM 12/15/06
Separated 01/02/07
Divorced 05/13/08
X married OM(OMH) 08/2009
Married 06/09/13
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,843
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sleeper Offline OP
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I find myself having to recall things I had forgotten as I
prepare a statement for the parole board.

The experience is not positive.


"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib
Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12
Bomb and OM 12/15/06
Separated 01/02/07
Divorced 05/13/08
X married OM(OMH) 08/2009
Married 06/09/13
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,843
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sleeper Offline OP
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Quote:
...can not imagine what you and your X must be going through...


X called me the day she was informed by phone this past week. She was distraught, said she "fell to the floor" when the parole office informed her on the phone. I was very surprised by her reaction. She was the one who held everything together and I fell apart gradually as I developed PTSD over the two years of the trial. This gave me a little inkling as to the degree of impact this really had on her. I always thought she handled it better than I did.

He pleaded guilty to four counts of the 10 he was charged of molestation of a juvenile and was sentenced for a total of 35 years. WHENEVER YOU LEARN SOMEONE HAS BEEN CHARGED WITH MOLESTATION OF A CHILD KNOW THEY HAVE PROBABLY DONE MUCH WORSE BUT ARE CHARGED WITH MOLESTATION AS THE BURDEN OF PROOF IS LESS AND PROSECUTORS ARE SEEKING A CONVICTION.

My daughter's subconscious is keenly aware of what happened to her, her conscious is not. The child psychologists told us she would not remember what had happened as the memory of a 35 month old is not fully developed (they were partially correct as her long term memory wasn't but her short term memory was and she would describe and question me about what he had done to her over the year following her assault).

She had a dream just a few weeks ago which symbolically reviewed what happened to her. I immediately called my X and told her of what she had dreamed(we both know the details as Daughter related them to me and I would then immediately inform X).

The only thing I can say that might help one understand what I experienced is that I have no desire, nor will I ever view a horror movie again.

OM doesn't "get" it. X told me his immediate response was, "It'll be alright". She told me she tried to explain to him that this had destroyed her first marriage.


"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib
Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12
Bomb and OM 12/15/06
Separated 01/02/07
Divorced 05/13/08
X married OM(OMH) 08/2009
Married 06/09/13
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,843
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sleeper Offline OP
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Oh, and before someone asks, "Sleeper, your thread just doesn't seem to fit, why are you still posting here?"

I'm really not sure myself.


"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib
Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12
Bomb and OM 12/15/06
Separated 01/02/07
Divorced 05/13/08
X married OM(OMH) 08/2009
Married 06/09/13
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,531
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Sleeper,

I'm so sorry. This is all just horrible. How can they let someone out after only a few years when the sentence was 35 years?! I will pray that the parole board will deny him parole.

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We are here to listen, respond, and help each other to carry our burdens, and if the time ever comes, to rejoice together . . . .

I cannot imagine your feelings, or even name what they might be. But if here is where you can come and tell us, then it is the right place.

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