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Just a little journaling here.

Do you guys remember that before Xmas I reported that when I was praying, I felt God telling me "one more month" I assumed for some sign, something, anything?

I think W might be trying to break the ice, but I cannot be sure.

Beginning yesterday, she seems to be talking to me a little more, and I mean a "little". If up to now she spoke a dozen words a day to me, well it's up to 24. If before she actually seemed uncomfortible talking to me, she seems a little more relaxed, and again I mean a "little."

I don't know if that means she's about to file D and opening lines of communication for that or she's just warming up a little. It's hard to tell.

Getting a non threatening "Hey you" from her as opposed to an awkward "hey" or silence, seems to my intuition a warming trend maybe. But that could just be wishful thinking.

Will keep you posted as the dreaded end of the month approaches.


Me 53 XW 50
M 18 Years +2
S14 D19
Bomb 10-24-10
Served 1-27-11
Mediate 4-21-11
Civil D Final 6-2-11
No church anullment
"A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
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You sound really anxious right now Pickle. It seemed as if you were in a better spot in the past couple of weeks. Are you ok?


M 43
X 38
T 13
W moves out of home 11/2010
Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012
I request divorce 5/2012
W moves home 6/2012
Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015
I leave 3/2016
process of divorce
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Originally Posted By: Denver_2010
You sound really anxious right now Pickle. It seemed as if you were in a better spot in the past couple of weeks. Are you ok?


I suppose you get a little anxious as percieved milestones approach.
I've been anticipating something the end of this month, for better or worse.

Or it could just be a down swing on the coaster.


Me 53 XW 50
M 18 Years +2
S14 D19
Bomb 10-24-10
Served 1-27-11
Mediate 4-21-11
Civil D Final 6-2-11
No church anullment
"A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
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Posts: 3,031
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Hang in there Pickle. It will either happen or it won't. If it does, you will deal with it. You will continue to DB. If it doesn't, you will continue to DB. Don't let what your W does or doesn't do control your emotional well being.


M 43
X 38
T 13
W moves out of home 11/2010
Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012
I request divorce 5/2012
W moves home 6/2012
Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015
I leave 3/2016
process of divorce
Joined: Nov 2010
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For whatever reason she may be opening the lines of communication probably shouldn't matter, at least the lines are being opened, and that is kind of the goal isn't it?

I know you don't want it to be because of filing, none of us do. Try to worry about that if it happens. Worrying about things like this is what takes us back out of the positive moods we get in. I can tell you are coming out of yours.

I was also worried about the month following holiday's. Nothing has really changed with my W other than a little less tense when communicating, maybe a little more conversation,but not much. No papers yet. I spent the whole month tearing myself apart for nothing.

Why would you think that she would open lines of communication to file? I would think it would be the opposite. If my W started getting really cold and distant is when I would start worrying, but that is just me.

It is scary that I could think that my W could be any more cold and distant than she already is.

Hang in there.


H-40 W-38
Together-20
Married-12
boy-7 girl-3
bomb-9/17/10
No papers
live together
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Sorry to hear about the distance, that is the most tortureous to have to go through. I am going through the same thing. But one thing I keep telling myself is to be the lion. Stay positive and what ever I do or even you should do is not talk about the relationship. I keep screwing up, over and over. But everytime I am the lion and the man she fell in love with it is happy at home. Some where along the line because of life, we lose our selves, we lose the one that got the girl. It stinks because some of us men are really good salesmen, we cannot convince a woman to feel it, she can't even convince herself.

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Originally Posted By: habitacker
Why would you think that she would open lines of communication to file?


She wants me to cooperate: you know, use same lawyer, divide everything up amicably, nice and easy.

I'm not suspicious by nature, but this whole ordeal has made me very distrustful of her.

Although I did previously make it clear that I would not help her with a D.


Me 53 XW 50
M 18 Years +2
S14 D19
Bomb 10-24-10
Served 1-27-11
Mediate 4-21-11
Civil D Final 6-2-11
No church anullment
"A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
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Posts: 678
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W has an appt today @ 3:30 PM.
Didn't say what, but I think it's w/Lawyer.
Don't ask me why, just a feeling.

At the very beginning of the sitch, during a huge bargaining mistake, I screwed up by conceeding to raimain the kids' dad at home until D17 graduates HS. But now if we wind up D, I don't think I can live like that. Any suggestions as to how I can take that back?


Me 53 XW 50
M 18 Years +2
S14 D19
Bomb 10-24-10
Served 1-27-11
Mediate 4-21-11
Civil D Final 6-2-11
No church anullment
"A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 678
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Well she didn't warn me.

I just discovered that her direct deposit paycheck did not get to our joint acct. That means she's changed it to go to her private acct.


Me 53 XW 50
M 18 Years +2
S14 D19
Bomb 10-24-10
Served 1-27-11
Mediate 4-21-11
Civil D Final 6-2-11
No church anullment
"A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 318
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Is that going to effect how you pay mortgage/bills etc.? In my sitch our finances have always been seperate except for joint credit line and credit card. We have our own chequing and savings accounts. We have a set bills/expenses that we each pay, although those do overlap sometimes (ie. gas for the car or groceries), so far that hasn't changed.

I guess what I'm getting at is I'm wondering how big a deal it is if you now have seperate accounts? Is she just trying to restore her independance? I'm assuming if you did/do have shared expenses now your going to need to discuss how money will be transfered to cover said expenses.


Me - 34
W - 33
M - 8 years
T - 15 years
D7, D5, D2
Bomb Nov 10/2010 "I'm not happy and INILWY"
W Staying for the kids Mar 13/2011
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