Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 15 of 15 1 2 13 14 15
Coach #2077530 09/16/10 10:52 PM
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 9,309
Likes: 283
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 9,309
Likes: 283
Originally Posted By: Allen A
You are the best one to come up with consequences... They are specific to your situation.

YOU know what you can do better than any of us.

Consequences are pretty much anything that causes your husband's life more difficulty.

You want to minimize the convenience of separation...


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Coach #2079702 09/21/10 07:15 PM
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 9,309
Likes: 283
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 9,309
Likes: 283
Originally Posted By: robx
Quote:
Get a call from the W while I am having lunch with my buddy...Anyway I didn't answer, she then sent a text saying its important, so of course i thought something with the kids, I stepped outside and called her. It had to do with health ffing insurance. I wanted to tell her not to tell me something is urgent unless at has to do with you or the kids in trouble, but I kept all that in told her I would handle the insurance issue and left it at that.


Why didn't you tell her?
You don't have to mean or argumentative when setting a boundary which is what you wanted to do there, it sounded like it anyways.

Sounds like to me, that when she sends a text to you and says its important, important to you means it has to do with the kids, important to her however may mean many different things. So.... you let her know otherwise she'll continue to do this and you will continue to complain about it.

It's ok to ask for what you want.

"Wife from now on, when you text something and say that it's important and need me to call you back asap, you make it sound like an emergency, something that has to do with the kids. An example is this health insurance issue, while important, not something that has to be discussed right at that moment. Important to me means something about the kids, definitely contact me about the kids. As for the health insurance, you could have actually just texted me that this was concerning the health insurance and let me know what it was you needed to contact me about. Please remember this for the future. Thank you."

and that's it.

You're not pissy, moody, angry, argumentative, you're just telling her straight what you want and not holding it in.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,544
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,544
^^
start from the beginning


Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12
Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life!
“Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Page 15 of 15 1 2 13 14 15

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard