Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 27 of 37 1 2 25 26 27 28 29 36 37
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,478
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,478
Very jealous.


Best,
Oldtimer
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 4,427
R
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 4,427
OMG, it was such a great concert - SO glad I went, even if it was solo (have you heard that new song, too? actually terrible music, but I laugh along with the message). Lots of good things this weekend, including the movie Eat, Pray, Love (warning - parts are hard to watch as a LBS). Got to spend some time with my son, then home to daughter. I'm taking her to see more friends tomorrow for a few days, down in Jersey. Loving summer.....

Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 4,427
R
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 4,427
My son came home today - a day earlier because of the rain!! I missed him / am proud of him / happy to have my birds in their nest, all at the same time.

It was a last-minute thing - his boss called and asked if it would be ok for a 17 year-old to drive him to the 2+ hours home, on rain-soaked highways. I thought about it, knew S would probably want the freedom, time to hang out with his friend - but had to say no, anyway. I don't know this kid or his driving record, and it's about 150 miles....statistics don't work in their favor. So, he got a short ride to the ferry, instead, and I picked him up. He was supposed to call when he was boarding so I would know what time to get him.

Time passed, and I took an educated guess that he forgot to call, so off we went. He was waiting for us (D came for the ride).
Hugs, some stories, get home and he calls his friend who he hasn't seen all summer. Of course, they want to get together for a while, and that is ok.

X called D earlier than usual tonight. S had gone to spend an hour with his buddy. D tells X that he is home.
As soon as S got back, I reminded him to call his father. Now, 4 hours have passed since I got word that he was coming home earlier.
The first 10 minutes of his convo with his dad were apologies. For not calling him during the last 2 weeks (the kid was WORKING with his FRIENDS - he didn't call anyone!). For not telling him he was coming home.

After they talked a while, he spoke with D again, then asked to talk to me.

Anyone want to guess what he wanted to talk to me about?

I think I have to get something together in writing to stop this pattern. Whenever x feels out of the loop, he gets on my case that I am being inconsiderate. He expected a text as soon as I knew that S was coming home early. Thinking about this, the thought honestly didn't even come across my brain - seems that I have finally been conditioned to NOT contact him, for anything.

I just don't want to hear his opinion of me, anymore.

But, I also don't want this to escalate, either, with him trying to get "retribution" for his perceived slights. Just easier to let him talk at me /scold for a minute, say Yeah, yeah, and get off of the phone than to really throw a boundary in his face.

Any thoughts while I think about this?

Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 3,831
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 3,831
Donna,
I'd say go with the boundary or not getting on the phone. Listening to his opinion of you, or scold (scold?) you, even with a "yeah,whatever" attitude is still acquiescing and putting yourself in a one-down position.
imo.
p.s. Where were they playing? Jones Beach?

Peace,


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 4,427
R
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 4,427
Yep, Aerosmith was at Jones Beach - tickets were much less expensive than CT Mohegan...

Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,478
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 4,478
Maybe try to use humor next time he starts that stuff. Give him the buzzer noise from Jeopardy.


Best,
Oldtimer
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 4,427
R
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 4,427
His voice just gets so weird....almost pleading for me to agree that I did something sh!tty. It is always about something with the kids - I think it makes him crazy that he isn't with them everyday, and he can't do anything about it. I think it is more that, than him realizing that I just don't give him much thought or attention, anymore, I just forget.

Too bad, so sad.

I asked my son why he spent so much time apologizing to his dad - what did he do? He said it was about S not calling his dad...he was handed a huge boatload of guilt. Or at least that was what his father was trying to do.
His next sentence to me was, "You know, mom, what that is really all about. And we all know it didn't have to be this way."

For anyone who reads this: kids will know what the truth is as they get older, whether we want them to or not.

Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 4,427
R
Member
OP Offline
Member
R
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 4,427
On a completely different note....

Just got back from the emergency vet. My Chloe got into it with a juvie raccoon. Dog won. But my heart is still recovering. Good to know that adrenaline will still kick in when needed, but man...
She got a booster ($157 for a $10 shot), and the raccoon is bagged for animal control to test tomorrow.

Now, HOW am I going to be able to get to sleep?!

Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 9,762
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 9,762
Did you get to sleep at all Donna? How scary!!!!

Ok, so XH wanted to know why S didn't call him? If he was worried about him, why didn't he just call S? The last time I checked the phone lines go both ways. Your son is old enough to be responsible for contacting his dad when he wants to, not after prodding from you or nagging from his dad. He's a teenager! They only talk to their friends and the last time I checked parents weren't considered part of that group! LOL

Set a boundary but only if he harps on this. Why is it important for you to let him know that he came home early? Coming home later than expected, sure. Coming home early...who cares?

Heavens!


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 10,326
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 10,326
Donna, I just made that observation to my ex via e-mail. He is trying to arrange his honeymoon etc. without telling me that is what he is doing. He makes some comment about not having the kids for 3 weekends. I just said yes, sometimes things happen because of the choices you have made and sometimes because they are just handed to you.

So far...all choices he has made. He won't be finding any sympathy here. He is still such a coward he can't even say this is the day of the wedding and this is the honeymoon. He is going out of state, then he is going to fly out of LAX and be on a cruise. Just man up already!!

Sorry for the side vent.

kat


Me-53(and learning!)
S24, S21, D18, D17
Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Page 27 of 37 1 2 25 26 27 28 29 36 37

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard