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Hey gucci thanks for stopping by.

Quote:
You are opening yourself up to a big letdown


Not really here, I think if I WANTED my W back you would be
right in telling me to cancel.
Quite frankly, I don't have any feelings towards my W anymore.

I don't respect her and pretty much all her decision thus far.

Found out tonight she has been sleeping around. And with people from work.( Why do people [censored] where they eat????)

Just another decision W made to push me further away.

I just can't be with someone who is so negative and has low self esteem.

SHe may or may not know that I have been seeing OW, I dont care either way.

Also found out tonight that of parenting skills are shitty too.
That was something she was so very good at. Yet another negative thing.

I;ve worked hard on myself the past year and have leared to surround myself with positive people in my life.
My W is not a positive person and I do not have room in my life for her.


I will keep this meeting with her and if she brings up R talk, I will hear her out then I will move into finance talk.

I am more concerned about my financial future than my R future with her.

this is a business meeting for me.

Last edited by gr8 day 2B alive; 08/15/10 03:03 AM.

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BR,

I have an account there but rarely go on except when I recieve an email notification.

Why you ask?


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Thought about the whole situation again this morning.

Our M was a low sex M and I think she's out there trying to fill her needs for physical attention.

I could understand if she was in a R with some OM but to have multiple partners just to get her rocks off is scarey.

Greek, remember back in May when I thought my W would be ho-ing it up when she want on vacation??? You asked me if she was that type of person and I said no.

Looks like we were both wrong.

So I was right on saying that her "friend" would be a bad influence on her. Among other things.

gucci, i might canca\el the meaning now just b/c I really have nothing to say to her.
I broke down the finances and emailed her the info.
Nothing really needs to be discussed in person.


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Originally Posted By: gr8 day 2B alive


gucci, i might canca\el the meaning now just b/c I really have nothing to say to her.
I broke down the finances and emailed her the info.
Nothing really needs to be discussed in person.



Originally, I was in favor of the meeting, as your expectations seemed to be fairly in check. In light of your new discoveries, I think it'd be a great idea to cancel it, using basically the words that Gooch suggests above.

Puppy

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Originally Posted By: gr8 day 2B alive


Greek, remember back in May when I thought my W would be ho-ing it up when she want on vacation??? You asked me if she was that type of person and I said no.

Looks like we were both wrong.


Sorry, gr8. Wish it weren't true. So you know what to do - take care of and protect yourself. Knowledge is power - even sh!tty news like this. You know where you stand and can make a good decision.

Like our friend Coach says ~~~ you can handle it.

I'm with Puppy and Gooch - cancel the meeting.

Greek

Last edited by Greek; 08/15/10 02:02 PM.

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I have decided to contact her and cancel the meeting.

I think she is struggling with her inner being now.
I do think she want to meet about R talk and that's something I'm not willing to discuss.

My thinking now is that she is getting a strong dose of reality right now and realizing the grass isn't greener.

She's receiving negative vibes from her family and her decisions.
She's may now be starting to realize that she HAD a great guy and b/c her sexual adventure aren't fulfilling her life she is scared and thinks she still had me to fall back on.

Well I have checked out. So when she falls I will not be there to catch her.

Funny, a year ago I would have died for her. Now, well......
I just wish her well.
I learned never to say never so I want say it here....

I will post my updates.


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AWFUL lot of mindreading there, Gr8, but I'm glad you decided to cancel the meeting. What are you going to say to her as to why??

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Puppy,

I know it it may have been mind reading but I chose to write b/c its the way I feel. I'm jusifying my feelings.

I need to get away from her now.

I am just going to tell her I'm busy. Let her think about what busy means..

Something suddenly came up! M. Brady


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Originally Posted By: gr8 day 2B alive
I have decided to contact her and cancel the meeting.

I think she is struggling with her inner being now.
I do think she want to meet about R talk and that's something I'm not willing to discuss.



Gr8, this reminded me of something I've written that I'd like to re-post to you here:


Types of Convos

Exactly. Here's the thing: if someone is in an ongoing, unrepentant affair, there are only a few types of conversations/communications they can have with their betrayed spouse, and ALL of them are cheeseless tunnels for the BS:

1) NEGATIVE ones. Blame-making, re-writing marital history, angry outbursts, fight-picking, etc. 'nuff said.

2) Seemingly POSITIVE ones. So long as they are still in contact with OM/OW and lying to their spouse about it, these are all "bullchit spin" at best, and outright GASLIGHTING and LIES at worse. And the problem is, the betrayed spouse inevitably sees this as "baby steps!" and true marital progress, when they are no such thing. They can lead to horrible strategic and tactical mistakes, esp. if the BS doesn't have a good intel system in place. Reading my old journal yesterday, I was BLOWN AWAY at how stable I was able to be in the face of my wife's deceit, simply because I HAD INTEL TO SHOW ME OTHERWISE. This can't be overemphasized.

3) LEGAL/FINANCIAL ones. These are best handled by your attorney, for the obvious reasons. If you start negotiating yourself, when you are way, way, WAY too emotionally entrenched in the situation (and also often running on too-little sleep and WAY too-little emotional needs of your own being met), YOU WILL MAKE FOOLISH MISTAKES and UNWISE CONCESSIONS.

4) FAMILY/LOGISTICAL ones. These are fine, but best handled via e-mail or text message. A cheating spouse will use these as a ploy to lure you into R convos and worse; SEE #1 ABOVE.

5) SMALL-TALK. This is fine, but only in RESPONSE -- don't initiate it if your strategy is to go "dim" and if it's to go "dark" you shouldn't even respond. If it's "dim," then only respond to one of every several communications, and usually delayed, because you're BUSY and GETTING A LIFE, remember?

Puppy


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Pup, thanks for the post there.

In the interim I emailed my W this because I don't want to speak to her:

I was doing some thinking about the meeting next Saturday.
I have decided that we really don't need to meet and that anything that you need to say
can been done through a phone call or an email.
I'm busy Saturday mornings and I don't have time to meet.

Also if there anything in the house you need or want let me know.
I am getting D5e a new bed so you can take her existing bed back.
Do you want any of the baby stuff...eg high chair, special clothing the kids wore.
The dolls your grandfather gave her.

I am cleaning out the house of everything I don't need or want.
Anything you want I will put in the garage for the time being.
I would like it picked up before the weather changes b/c I will be parking in the garage
when the weather changes. If I'm still living here.

PS. The only reason why I sent things to your personal email account is b/c I didn't
think it was appropriate to discuss our personal matters on you work account.


She won't get this email until tonight when she goes to work.

I did write back a few months ago once she crossed that line with sleeping around I would be totally done.
That line has ben crossed.


Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12
Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life!
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