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((( TMW )))

Great advice from everyone and so true, we've seen it play out before , in our own lives
My fav quote: ~~Everything happens for a reason, just believe~, have the plaque, didnt quite " get it" until I met who I met and now realize how very very true it is, and it will be for you too, it will!

You have so much going on for you I dont think you realize it all yet , it will start to shine thru now , you just watch
Your young and smart and beautiful and caring and have tons of love to give someone deserving..

Take care of yourself , pamper yourself for a while then go grab life by the ...... whatever lol


Be Happy for this Moment,
This Moment is your Life


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he didn't move out after my last post or after the next incident or the next

but tonight he is packing and moving

can't write much more than that

i'm sure many of you are having a party over this. congrats. you were right.

TMW - I know you're down. There is nobody here having a party. We love you. I know how much faith you put in him. Listen, we all have put faith in another human being and expected them to react differently than they actually did. You are no different than the rest of us. I wish you the best in life. I wish you peace - which you have not had in a long time. I wish you happiness. You will have that if you let yourself have that.

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i've been described as having this huge heart and that is why i put up with what i did and why i feel the way i do and why i don't want to give up.


i'm not begging him to stay. i've basically gone dark. just so much time, emotion, energy...everything put into this. i knew him, dating him before XH. i only have 1 other friend who has been in my life longer. the ball is in his court, it's been in his court. up to him if he would want to try to change and work on things and build a different future.

*please don't yell and jump on me for that. i'm just writing, off the top of my head/heart.

i know in my head that i deserve better. that i shouldn't have put up with the way things have been for a very long time. but i love him.
there is literally nothing left i can do or say. i've poured everybit of my heart & soul out to him.

he seems confused - words and actions not matching. i don't know. i don't know anything right now-just reminding myself to breath in and out is focus enough.


oh - and i did talk to a counselor. she said i'm too hard on myself. figures.


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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"i know in my head that i deserve better. that i shouldn't have put up with the way things have been for a very long time. but i love him. "

Honey, I'm not trying to beat up on you here, but can you hear yourself? "But I loooove him". WE women can be so stupid!

No - you're attached, you've got those bonding hormones going, you like the smell of his pheromones. And none of that is reason enough to put up with him. He's a loser and the rest of us have been telling you that almost from day one. You're just too close to see it.

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won't write much

isn't easy. trying to figure things out, figure out what's best. i'm doing a lot of exploring and thinking.

nothing about this easy.

just don't know.

i haven't posted cause i know that isn't what any of you want to hear - but it's the truth and it's what is going on.


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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stop worrying about what we might or might not want to hear. We are here for you, TMW. Each and every one of us knows exactly how NOT easy this is.

We all want what is best for you. You deserve a healthy loving two way relationship, can you have it with this guy?


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Thank you smile
The counselor I talked to said I put too much pressure on myself, and it's all from me. My parents don't and never have pressured me to do well, exceed, etc-they just love me for me, which is great. It's all about self motivation. I guess that's part of why I am the way I am with the relationship - I don't want to give up and have a failed relationship. But I know I've done MORE than enough, more than most anyone would. I know if/when this ends, I've done everything I possibly could to make it work.

But I know I can't keep going the way things have been. I know I can't do all the work and being treated like crap.
IF he and I are going to have a future - he needs to step up and he needs to do it NOW.
He complains cause I have been so focused on the relationship and especially in the past 6 months or so I've talked about it so much - last night I told him maybe I would back down if he stepped up. ( smile )
Last night I also told him if this is a game, if he isn't planning on doing any work & if he is planning to leave - then just leave. I also told him that I'm really struggling whether or not to keep going, to put any more effort in.


we'll see. i'm in the middle of the storm. thanks for being here for me and understanding.


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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are you going to continue seeing a counselor?


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i might, it's something else i've been thinking about heavily. i haven't done much looking. i wonder if there is free couples counseling, if he would be willing - if he's serious about working on things.


the person i talked to - i told them upfront the mini version of my history and that i didn't want to spend 6 months talking about my childhood and my parents.
Just the insight about how hard I am on myself was interesting - I never really thought about it or realized it before.

With the current situation - if we're going to try - it would be more useful if we went together.




whoooooo knows. can i just fastforward a couple months and be past this one way or another ? smile


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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