Gardener, you don't have to be her friend, there's no law that says you have to want to chum around with the person who ripped your heart out. Some can do it, mostly for the kids but there's no shame in saying NO CAN DO! Don't sweat it, now go drop something heavy on your foot, you'll thank me later!
the legal process makes it nearly impossible not to regard each other as adversaries as long as anything is pending.
So true.
G, hang in there...we all have those days. Do whatever makes you feel happy. Sorry about the gig but sounds like you have a safety net. Hope you find another gig soon.
Last edited by StupidRomeo; 06/25/1003:46 AM.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
Speaking of Bob Seger's songs...I gotta add 'Risky Business' to my Netflix queue now
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
Don't know much about his religion but I tend to agree with your assessment. I remembered the movie because of the song and the Porsche in it and it's been ages since I last saw it.
Last edited by StupidRomeo; 06/26/1004:53 AM.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
Gardener, you don't have to be her friend, there's no law that says you have to want to chum around with the person who ripped your heart out. Some can do it, mostly for the kids but there's no shame in saying NO CAN DO! Don't sweat it, now go drop something heavy on your foot, you'll thank me later!
I know. As I told her that day, "friends don't do what you've done." This week, I was second guessing myself after reading Snodderly's excellent posts in the MLC archives thread about "Runaway MLCers": Above all, be their friend.
But not after they've already divorced you, Gardener!
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Gardener. Being a friend does not necessarily mean best pals/buds, it can also mean "friendly". No one can be a true friend to someone who has done what they've done to you and others here. True friends don't do what they've done and continue to do.
Do not second guess yourself. I've followed your postings and you've done everything you can to be friendly and supportive to your xw.
Move forward and some day, the dynamics of your communication/relationship w/your xw may change, but it won't be for a long time.
It's time to focus on you and your future.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
