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(((gr8)))

Sorry to hear your W isn't ready to do the work it'll take to make her happy and accept ownership of her life and emotions. It's her loss at this point and you should be very proud of yourself for all that you have accomplished.

I heard someone say that resentment and lack of forgiveness are like a poison that you drink and expect someone else to die .... your W is only hurting herself by witholding forgiveness.


Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
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GM,

I thought about that too. I have heard stories were couples get D and reconnect.

Personally I don't think it's going to happen but I will never say never. Only God knows for sure.

I one girl that I speaking through emails theough from the dating site has the same name as my W. That's too weird. LOL


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Thanks for the hugs PEI.

Quote:
I heard someone say that resentment and lack of forgiveness are like a poison that you drink and expect someone else to die .... your W is only hurting herself by witholding forgiveness.


This is someone's tagline. I liked this one too.

I DO feel proud of myself knowing I tried to do everything possible to save my M.

I am a success story! I have overcome the most painful event in my life!
That's my tag line.


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Found out through our mutual friend this weekend that W called her after our meeting last Monday and was crying as she left a message.

Really? After I asked her if she wanted a D and said YES, and I asked her if this is the best thing and again she said YES.

Why in the world would she be calling her crying?

Not only does she not get it, I think she's nuts now.

I told our friend that it will take a miracle for her to win ME back.


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Probably not nuts...but possibly unsure.

This may not be over.

Since she has already said divorce is what she wants. Think about giving her a call. Check in on her. This could be a time for you to show her compassion and see what happens?

If your mutual friend would be OK with it, let your W know you've talked with mutual friend. Even for the spouse who "thinks" divorce is what they really want, it can still greatly affect them.


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GM

I think she's just upset that it has to this. Mutual friend said W's mom is giving her the cold shoulder b/c she thinks W gave up too soon.
I told mutual friend that W will have to work on herself and I can't help her with that.

I'm have no regrets doing what I did. This process made me a better person and gave me a new outlook on life.

I haven't been this happy in a long time.

We'll see what develops.


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GM,

What did you mean by this?
Quote:
This could be a time for you to show her compassion and see what happens?


You're saying for me to call her?
What would I say? I already asked her to Qs and she told me with an Emphatic Yes's to D and the best thing for us.

I don't want to be the guy who beats the dead horse here. I get it,she does not want to be with me.

Just wondering what you were thinking about what might happen.
Thanks, gr8


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Most likely, nothing different will happen, but I'd say there is also absolutely nothing to lose if you did call her.

I would not even talk about the relationship or divorce. If you are comfortable, and your mutual friend wouldn't care, I'd say something like this.

"W, "mutual friend" told me you called her and you were crying. I understand how you are hurting and just wanted to let you know that I am here to listen should you need that. I have no expectations that you will need to, but just know that you can call me"

Something close to that, however you are comfortable and IF you are comfortable. I think this tells her two things. You are giving her the freedom to change her mind, and either way you feel for her.

You may not want to, and that's OK. There is nothing to lose now that doesn't already seem lost.


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Thanks GM.
I will contact mutual friend to get an update.
Iam not going to betray her trust with the onfo see hasgiven me. I already asked her if I could bring up the OM when she was on VACA and our friend said not to bring it up, so I didn't.

I'll ask her again about this.
Stay posted.


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How do YOU feel about the credibility of this mutual friend? She has told you about a "possible" OM and she has told you that your W called her crying. These stories are both possible, but is this mutual friend a drama queen?


Glimmerman
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