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A Message from Michele
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Re: WAW/MLC/Runner [Re: Mach1] #1982844
04/15/10 05:44 PM
04/15/10 05:44 PM
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 57
J
Jasmine Offline OP
Member
Jasmine  Offline OP
Member
J
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 57
Quote:
YOU......Have the ability to do something about that for YOU....
smile


YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! Something I had always wished my H would do for me on my bday or Anni.....SPA DAY! smile


Me: WAW/MLC 41
H: 42
M: 16 yr T: 20
Me: EA/PA started Sept 2008
D: Anytime, just need to sign papers
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1968939&page=1
Re: WAW/MLC/Runner [Re: Jasmine] #1983709
04/16/10 05:53 PM
04/16/10 05:53 PM
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 737
PA
G
Goodfight Offline
Member
Goodfight  Offline
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G
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 737
PA
Wow Jas, I just wrote about how my anniversary is coming up and it's on Mothers' Day this year. I'm dreading it also.


M 41
H 35
D 12
S 18
Separated 11/08
Re: WAW/MLC/Runner [Re: Goodfight] #1983772
04/16/10 06:52 PM
04/16/10 06:52 PM
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 57
J
Jasmine Offline OP
Member
Jasmine  Offline OP
Member
J
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 57
Journaling:

Today I am awaken with new thoughts. BOTH of us are/were in a MLC. BOTH of us need to do the work.

Hard, emotional month so far. H emailed me yesterday regarding taxes. Of course I had wished it was to acknowledge our anniversary, but how do you positively acknowledge that when this past year and half has been so negative?

First email I sent back to him was one liner thanks for the info on taxes. 2nd email, thanks for this thanks for that I will be in town next week and would like to get together and talk. Then I CRACKED...I typed, "I don't know if it's appropriate or not to mention our anniversary today, but it's in my thoughts as you are." Usually I would have had an email back by now, but nothing.

This BLOWS ME knowing both of us are in a MLC and he doesn't. Me being the chaser now. I committed FI (financial infidelity) 2 times. My cry for help. Trying to get H to pay attention to me to no avail. WOW...here comes my whining and sniveling feeling sorry myself.

I need to get out of my current physical situation and start making things happen for me!


Me: WAW/MLC 41
H: 42
M: 16 yr T: 20
Me: EA/PA started Sept 2008
D: Anytime, just need to sign papers
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1968939&page=1
Re: WAW/MLC/Runner [Re: Jasmine] #1983780
04/16/10 06:56 PM
04/16/10 06:56 PM
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 57
J
Jasmine Offline OP
Member
Jasmine  Offline OP
Member
J
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 57
GF, plan ahead. Make a day plan with friends and family to take your mind off of things. Make sure to do something for yourself that day. I had always wanted H to surprise me a gift of something, ANYTHING on my birthday or anniversary and he never came through. So, I took a day of pampering for myself, mani, pedi facial, and it felt wonderful. Helped me to appreciate ME.


Me: WAW/MLC 41
H: 42
M: 16 yr T: 20
Me: EA/PA started Sept 2008
D: Anytime, just need to sign papers
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1968939&page=1
Re: WAW/MLC/Runner [Re: Jasmine] #1983782
04/16/10 06:57 PM
04/16/10 06:57 PM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
J
Jack_Three_Beans Offline
Moderator
Jack_Three_Beans  Offline
Moderator
J
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
Yes you do.

But I have a question for you, how long was it before YOU realized you were in a MLC?

And if anyone had told you prior to your realization...would you have believed them?



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

Re: WAW/MLC/Runner [Re: Jack_Three_Beans] #1983791
04/16/10 07:05 PM
04/16/10 07:05 PM
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 737
PA
G
Goodfight Offline
Member
Goodfight  Offline
Member
G
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 737
PA
Jas, can you please hop over to my thread? I am getting two conflicting pieces of advice from Fixer and Cat. And I know that you had said that you liked hearing from your H. So please if you get a chance I would like your input.

It's about the pool at our house (the one me and the kids are living in). So you know where to start to read. Jack could always use your input too.

Jack, I like your questions to Jas, I was also wondering about these things. But I do know that my H denied having depression and wouldn't believe me.


M 41
H 35
D 12
S 18
Separated 11/08
Re: WAW/MLC/Runner [Re: Jack_Three_Beans] #1983794
04/16/10 07:06 PM
04/16/10 07:06 PM
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 57
J
Jasmine Offline OP
Member
Jasmine  Offline OP
Member
J
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 57
JTB,
HA! I didn't realize I was having a MLC till I left the mediator's office after hashing out the settlement, went to the bookstore to pick up a book on how to emotionally handle a divorce where next to that book was Divorce Remedy.....friends have told me I've been in a MLC for the last 7 years, but they didn't tell me that till, NOW and no, I would not have believed them! 7 years was when H's started as well.....very very interesting...

BTW, I picked up the DR book and never touched the other book.

Last edited by Jasmine; 04/16/10 07:08 PM.

Me: WAW/MLC 41
H: 42
M: 16 yr T: 20
Me: EA/PA started Sept 2008
D: Anytime, just need to sign papers
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1968939&page=1
Re: WAW/MLC/Runner [Re: Jasmine] #1983822
04/16/10 07:28 PM
04/16/10 07:28 PM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 4,260
M
Mach1 Offline
Member
Mach1  Offline
Member
M
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 4,260
Originally Posted By: Jasmine

I need to get out of my current physical situation and start making things happen for me!


Ya think ?


: )

Re: WAW/MLC/Runner [Re: Jasmine] #1983825
04/16/10 07:29 PM
04/16/10 07:29 PM
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,375
C
cat04 Offline
Member
cat04  Offline
Member
C
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,375
Jas,

Wow…

Ok so you know you are in MLC and are working on you…

Which is fantastic BTW…


And your H is in MLC, but doesn’t know it (that you are aware of)…

So, should you really be pursuing?

I am gonna bet you know you should have left the anniversary stuff off….

But I think telling him you were gonna be in town, just enough of an open door…

If anyone understands this, I think you do…

Don’t sabotage yourself anymore…
smile



"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
Re: WAW/MLC/Runner [Re: cat04] #1983860
04/16/10 07:45 PM
04/16/10 07:45 PM
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 57
J
Jasmine Offline OP
Member
Jasmine  Offline OP
Member
J
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 57
I KNOW, I KNOW Mach! smile

Cat, I KNOW, I KNOW! HAHAHA

I didn't realize I sabotaged myself till I just typed this up!

Journaling:

NOW WHAT?? There is a Retrouville Seminar in "our" area next month maybe I should bring it up. Maybe I should send him DR? I won't know more till I see him and talk to him next week.


Me: WAW/MLC 41
H: 42
M: 16 yr T: 20
Me: EA/PA started Sept 2008
D: Anytime, just need to sign papers
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1968939&page=1
Page 6 of 8 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

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