Yes, he is trying in some regards but we haven't had a R discussion in a few months. Part of me thinks it's bad because we're just slipping back into old patters, part of me thinks there haven't been any serious issues to discuss. I want to have a check-in convo but I also don't want to always be the person who initiates these talks.
Dudess, I think it's more of the former but also some of the latter. And that is exactly why it bothers me so much. I have stated numerous times how I feel about it. I understand that it doesn't bother him (the house being picked up) but the fact that it's one of my pet peeves should be enough for him to remember to tell me.
For now I'm choosing to put this in the category of the 60% of things that couples always argue about and never resolve.
The plan right now is sort of a lack of a plan. I need to get my act together and get a job in SF. Once all the moving stuff starts to happen we'll see how things shake out.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
Yes, that's the plan. I tried to have a discussion with him about the move. He said he needed time to think about it. That was two months ago and he hasn't brought it up. I haven't either because I think it's his responsibility since he's the one who asked for more time. If he isn't going to uphold his end then I'm going to make decisions based on the info I have. That is that I want to live in SF. So that's what I'm going to do.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
Those are my thoughts exactly. That's what I've been concerned with since beginning piecing. I'm taking the easy way out right now because I have made my decision to move and I'm focusing on that. If I have fun with BF during the job hunt then it's less stressful for me. Selfish, I know. But I think there's part of me that's counting on him not moving so I don't want to rock the boat until necessary. I'm in no rush.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
Is it possible he would flip if he finds out? I am sorry if I sound negative. The whole ordeal has taught me to look for most possible negative outcome.
He won't flip out. He's extremely conflict avoidant. Plus he knows it's what I want to do. I think he's just avoiding it now because he knows how lazy I am when it comes to finding a job.
Incentives for him to move? I will be there. Honestly I'm unsure if he would like it. He did like Seattle but while there are similarities it is still much more urban (than where we lived in Seattle) and therefore more crowded and more expensive. He loves the weather in CO and I'm not sure he can handle going back to no seasons, fog, and mild all the time.
I'm trying not to mind read and predict the future. That's why I'm just going to focus on finding a job and let things happen from there.
Thanks for your concern WA.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
You are starting job hunting in SF, and are heading there with or without BF?
How will you handle the job hunting? just by email from home? and see if BF picks up on all these calls and emails and "help-wanted" ads coming in from sunny CA?
And then see if he initates R talk?
Me: 44 Him: 42 Together: 23 years; never married Bomb: August 1, 2009 Affair since May 2009 Walk away; no conversation; no process
Yes, going to SF with or without BF. Job hunting from here, need a job before I can move.
He knows this is what I want. I talked to him about it, asked what he thought about moving, the pros and cons. He said he knew it was what I wanted, he didn't think he had any input because I had already decided. I said I know what I want but I'm willing to hear his opinion so I can make the best decision based on all the information. He said he needed some time to digest. This was now over two months ago. He's had enough time. If he chooses not to have the conversation with me then I will make my decision based on the information I currently have.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
he didn't think he had any input because I had already decided.
If he thinks he has no say it's no wonder he's not bringing it up. Pearl, can you put his pants back on him? Let him be responsible? Trust him to make the right decision to move to SF? Hun, what is you positive answer on SF?
Just a thought. Sometimes we fight so hard for our rights and independence that men forget or never learn how to be responsible for both of us (them?). Sorry my English is escaping me, I should go to bed. Happy Easter!
Let him be responsible? Trust him to make the right decision to move to SF? 