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A Message from Michele
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june72 #1969759 03/29/10 06:10 PM
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From Snodderly:

Here are a couple of new books that I have just completed and I highly recommend them. The first one is entitled "Silent Sons" by Dr. Robert J. Ackerman. It is a book for and about men. A man's manual, a handbook on masculine health, sanity and soul It is a must read for men and the women who love them. The second book is entitled "The Half-Empty Heart" by Alan Downs, Ph.D. It is a supportive guide to breaking free from chronic discontent. Both books are about how children are stunted at an early age and how they stuff their feelings, etc. At some point in their lives, they will explode or could just withdraw completely from what they have detached from, be it a job, person, marriage, etc. Both books are easy to read and not very thick. They are a must if you want to understand about the childhood issues and how they play out with depression and mlc. I rated both A++.


The number one book for all newbies is the book entitled "Understanding the Mid-Life Crisis" by Peter O'Connor. The James Conway book on the Mid-Life Crisis is a nice start, but it doesn't tell you enough about what the mlcer is actually thinking/feeling. The O'Connor book is a very "deep" book that will bring your emotional side to the forefront as you read it. It deserves an A++++.

Many people have asked about books written by women on MLC. I just finished reading two extremely good books written by women. The first book was recommended by Sting and it is entitled, "When The Heart Waits" by Sue Monk Kidd. Ms. Kidd described her spiritual journey through her crisis in a very easy to read writing style. She used the analogy of the cocoon and the butterfly and I truly believe it will help many of you to understand the transformation of your spouse from the person you knew to the person that he/she is now and will be once they exit the cocoon. The second book is entitled, "My Time. Making The Most Of The Rest Of Your Life" by Abigail Trafford. She has interviewed a number of people who have gone through or are going through a crisis. She is also the author of "Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building A New Life". Both of these books are worth the time it takes to read them.

Last edited by june72; 03/29/10 06:11 PM.

M38, H37
S3, S7
Together 15 yrs
Married 8 yrs
Bomb July 2008
Inhouse separation
"I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count)
Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
june72 #1969767 03/29/10 06:13 PM
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By ottocat:


Anyhow - I have another book to recommend: "The Emotional Incest Syndrome - What to do when a Parent's Love Rules Your Life" by Dr Patricia Love. I have gotten a lot of great info out of it - and feel it's another must read. I know that emotional incest went on in my H's family - and I think this would be common in many other MLC'ers families too!


M38, H37
S3, S7
Together 15 yrs
Married 8 yrs
Bomb July 2008
Inhouse separation
"I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count)
Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
june72 #1969976 03/29/10 10:16 PM
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A great one to help change the WAS's negative opinion of you back into positive. Like Jedi Mindtricks:

"How to Change Anybody" Dr. David J. Lieberman

Also very insightful and straightforward:

"Ten Stupid Things Couples Do To Mess Up Their Relationships" Dr. Laura Schlessinger


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
june72 #1970064 03/29/10 11:56 PM
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"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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i'm reading one now i really like by gabriel cohen. it's called "storms don't hurt the sky" and it's a buddhist approach to dealing with divorce. the author talks about dealing with his anger, despair and depression after his wife walked out and never came back by trying to change his perspective and take a new approach to hurt.

it's been a very good read so far and is really challenging me to open my mind a little further and possibly accept my situation for what it is without carrying the feelings of anger and hurt in my heart.


Me30 H29
M2.5 T5
H moved out 1/23/2010
H wants signed agreement 3/30/2010
...feeling hopeless
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Gosh, this is all awesome. Going to take some work to organize an evolving list. Keep them coming!!!


M38, H37
S3, S7
Together 15 yrs
Married 8 yrs
Bomb July 2008
Inhouse separation
"I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count)
Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
june72 #1970213 03/30/10 02:49 AM
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I am a little disappointed that this self help book is not one there
Could be important


Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.
unconditional love is awesome!
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hahahaha! I like! The Zombie Survival Guide....Could see how it could apply in a weird obtuse way. Esp., the section on Weapons and Combat Techniques! A lesser used alternative to DBing tactics. Much needed at times-lol.


M38, H37
S3, S7
Together 15 yrs
Married 8 yrs
Bomb July 2008
Inhouse separation
"I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count)
Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
june72 #1970546 03/30/10 03:17 PM
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I read these before the bomb:

98.6 Degrees: The Art of Keeping Your Ass Alive

Deep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies, and Why

They have some good insight into surviving. I am sure some of the concepts could be applied to D.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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Awesome!


M38, H37
S3, S7
Together 15 yrs
Married 8 yrs
Bomb July 2008
Inhouse separation
"I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count)
Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
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