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fm, I was - and always have been - the same way, since back when the common derisive term for it was "health nut"

But I took those meds. As soon as I was diagnosed. I wanted relief, I wanted out. Fast!

They took a few weeks, but they worked. A few more weeks and my life suddenly became, "wait a minnit! I remember this guy!"

With that relief, I started research. A lot. Mostly The Ultra Mind Solution. I have a great Family Physician. She's mainstream,not naturopathic or alternative, but she's knowledgeable in it and respects it. She did tests. I was woefully low in a few neurotransmitter-supporting Amino Acids.I started taking them. They are OTC and cheap and they just boosted things further, so Dr. weaned me off ADs.
Originally Posted By: flowmom
Anyway, sorry for talking about myself in your thread. I don't know the background to the previous posts, but it sounds like your friends are concerned about you, therefore so am I.
Thank you. Those two sentences pretty much describe what these boards are all about - why we're here for each other.

And with answering the responses I've gotten since yesterday, all I've been doing is talking about myself tonight! That's part of why we're all here, too, isn't it?

Good luck with the ADs. Monitor yourself and don't leave the monitoring up to your doctor alone. Due to side affects, etc. I tried three before we hit upon the right one.

Peace,


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


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fm,
Originally Posted By: flowmom
I like the idea of using music to create new triggers. Music really affects my mindset and I think it might be time to use that to my advantage. Thanks Coach smile
I agree. A good idea.

Originally Posted By: flowmom
If it hasn't already been done it would be cool to have a LBS playlist thread...with the focus on music that has a message of positivity/hope.
Having previously admitted to being a closet Barry White and Abba (and some disco) fan, I'll admit to also really liking Barry Manilow's music. I say this because I thought of your suggestion above today when his song, "I Made It Through The Rain" came on the ipod. Check out the song and/or the lyrics. A perfect DB - and DB community - song.

Originally Posted By: flowmom
I think it's great that you can vent here Gardener. So many men don't give themselves any outlet to express their emotions.
Thank you (though I have been accused more than once of doing so to a fault): "unbridled self-expression," ineffectual MC once told me. crazy


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


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Originally Posted By: Gardener
Gnosis, if you'll accept a verbal on-the-phone smack upside the head as just as good, consider it already done. wink

I'll let Gypsy decide. wink laugh

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avermont,
Thank you for all this. All good.
Originally Posted By: avermont
FB is the spawn of the devil, I swear!! There are too many posts about FB causing way too much emotional turmoil.
I plan on getting off fb. I'll probably keep my Gardener/DB fb page, but drop my "real" one.
I only got on it to try to find my long-lost granddaughter, 13, and was successful at that. Besides, my life isn't all that interesting for constant - or even occasional - fb'ing, in my view. And all my friends on there already know how to contact me: address, email, phone #, the works, So, what's the point? I'm dropping out.
Originally Posted By: avermont
I secretly love ABBA and Culture Club. Maybe I could start listening to music again with The Clash and Sex Pistols. At least that music is pre-X
That is the perfect, obvious solution: "pre-X" music. I like that.

Originally Posted By: avermont
I'm sorry to hear how close to the edge you were at NYE. Been very close myself. I make a few key friends repeat to me every few days why I should keep on living check in with your friends often.

Also find a more cheerful on line or real life group to connect to. I am grateful beyond measure for everyone here, but it is emotionally draining

vitamins. Robins. Exercise. Snowdrops. The earth keeps turning.

Peace.
Yep. Yep. Yep.
Thanks.
Peace,


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


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Rocked.
Sorry. I got your post, just forgot to respond.

The roller coaster is common to us all. I have been surprised, though, at how many acknowledge deep, despairing moments of hopelessness...which they overcame!

Thank you, Rocked, but we are all coping with a devastating time with inner strength and with the best choices we can make under circumstances not of our choosing.

No, SIL is coping best she can with a beloved sister and a BIL she really likes & vice versa. Whenever I start to succumb to an "I hurt..." over Stepson, Stepdaughter, or SIL, I reframe it to the real truth: "They hurt!" It helps put it in perspective.

BTO, baby! "Let it Ride", "Give It Time". "Roll On Down The Highway" Oh, yeah!


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


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Wow- miss a few days and look what happens... I don't think I can add anything to what's already been said other than "don't do that again! Call someone immediately- don't go it alone!" Too many people love you...

Hugs, Bunny


W42/H42/M20
S/19,D/17
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Originally Posted By: Gardener
Thank you (though I have been accused more than once of doing so to a fault): "unbridled self-expression," ineffectual MC once told me.
Self-expression is GOOD...though some of us learn the hard way that it's all about picking the right venue for it.


me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4
current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp
.: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
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mini-journal,

Met X at a bookstore to exchange some paperwork this afternoon. She looked awful, usually does of late (then again, so do I frown ). I tried some pleasantries, some new-granddaughter questions, etc. She seemed taken off guard by that. Maybe because of last week when I rebuffed her ludicrous "let's-be-friends, now" grand gesture.

Leaving, I was thinking I just do not like her anymore. I don't dislike her - at least not yet, despite having been given such ample reasons to. I just don't like her.

Of course, as I just mentioned to poet, three hours later I'm out back in the garden we built side-by-side over years, and the damn tears start to come again. I left the garden, came back inside.

Go friggin' figure.


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


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I thought about you today. I was coming back from working in Chicago and I was awfully tired. I kept coming back to going to mediation and the eventual fight over custody.

I realized if I don't get joint physical custody then I may end up hating her.

Seriously, I get to see my girls an awful lot and if she's successful it'll get cut to four times every two weeks.

I remember thinking that you were a bit harsh in your meeting with your ex. Everyone else was congratuling you so I didn't chime in.

But then I wondered to myself, what would I say to stbx the first time I see her alone if she wins custody?


Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11
http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz
http://tiny.cc/thread2
http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu
http://tinyurl.com/thread4
http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6
http://tinyurl.com/thread6
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Gardener, it sounds like it will help when you are not living the your marital home any more. hugs to you.


me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4
current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp
.: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
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