Are you still in counseling? Having a close call like that deserves to be examined. And meds and/or levels checked.
Why question your sis-in-law about FB? She's probably reacting to her own sister's dismay and feeling caught in the middle. It's only a bulletin board and seeing each other face to face is better than anything. I can see respecting her choices and leaving an open door. No pressure.
Time allows everyone balance.
*hugs*
PS.. at least with the season starting you'll be working so hard sleep won't be an issue. Anxiety creates its own set of problems, lack of sleep one of them, that really screws up the emotional balance.
Remember the tricks to stop the obsessing thoughts. Remember, anxiety takes a kernel of truth and magnifies it to the worst possible outcome.
I doubt SIL feels offended by anything. She just doesn't want to wonder if she should alert your X to things that you've posted. I wouldn't reply. Over time she can decide what kind of R she wants with you.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Gardener, I haven't checked your thread in a while... find this forum a bit painful to go to, with how close this came to being my reality. But, wanted to see how you are doing.
I am sorry to hear of the on-going roller coaster ride, and I am particularly pained for you to hear where you were at New Year's Eve. I had serious thoughts myself at certain points in my sitch. Thank God the thought of my children living with the aftermath of that put a stop to that.
I have kept up with your sitch almost from the beginning, and I admire you for how you have coped with such a devestating time in your life. You have such inner strength... which I know you don't always feel... but that will get you through. It sounds like you are making good choices about where to go from here.
I agree with the others not to take SIL's FB thing personally. Family get put in a difficult position with D, and she probably does not know how else to handle it.
BTW... i LOVE old BTO (and ABBA too, if truth be known...) Picturing you rockin' out in your house makes me smile!
ps ABBA ???? Really???? Check Man Rule 213(k) for clarification.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Hey G-man, I have not been around for couple days, for some of the same reasons others posts.
Your last couple posts scared me man, you are worthy of living a great live that YOU decide.
I think sitting around the house all the time is a bad precedent, you need to get out and do SOMETHING. I have at times, just gone to the local Borders or Barnes and Noble, couple bucks for coffee, read some magazines and people watch, you'll realize there is life after this, and you can have a great life.
Find some local places to hike, and watch the people, and the kids having fun, and not because you are missing that right now, but because there is more out there for you see and do and find that this life is too precious to just wait in the house.
You are a strong, compassionate, caring person who can build a life that is full, fulfilling and rewarding! There is only one person that can help with that, and that's you.
Keep your head up, you can handle it! Love this weather in the Northeast, I can't wait to get outside and just watch the clouds go buy and begin building my future for me!
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
FB is the spawn of the devil, I swear!! There are too many posts about FB causing way too much emotional turmoil.
I secretly love ABBA and Culture Club. Maybe I could start listening to music again with The Clash and Sex Pistols. At least that music is pre-X
I'm sorry to hear how close to the edge you were at NYE. Been very close myself. I make a few key friends repeat to me every few days why I should keep on living check in with your friends often.
Also find a more cheerful on line or real life group to connect to. I am grateful beyond measure for everyone here, but it is emotionally draining
vitamins. Robins. Exercise. Snowdrops. The earth keeps turning.
G-Woman, Still in counseling, but made no emergency call to IC; I was very, very distraught emotionally but knew I could -and had to - work, to wrestle this through on my own to make sure it would never come back. It was a night, for sure. Emotional/adaptive child "victim" wound up submitting to rational, functional adult "victor", as I just put to gnosis in the .alt. It was a night for giving the demons full reign and then reigning their asses in. In subsequent IC, session, IC thought the duality of the struggle guaranteed that the stronger, resilient adult would prevail. I was in depths of anguish and despair, but a stronger part of me was rally pi$$ed that I was there - or allowing myself to go there. Also just told Gnosis that being to Hell and back confirmed that I still knew the route. Sometimes you just gotta roll up your sleeves, get down in the mud with the demons and rassle 'em, no matter how long it takes. I came away stronger.
Blood work is done every 6-8 weeks no more D meds, just amino acids and other neurotransmitter supplements.
SIL? I just questioned the sudden timing after couple of days of friendly chatter. My only question was a sincere, respectful, please tell me how I may have offended you who I would never knowingly offend.
Not taking it personally; no assumptions.
That door stays open; she and I "got" each other the moment we were first introduced years ago...been that way ever since.
Last night was money stress. More background noise than obsessing. Wasn't anything I could do about it anyway, so I didn't fight it or avail myself of any resources or remedies. I just busied myself with other things and the night flew.
Thanks, Gyps.
Last edited by Gardener; 03/19/1002:52 AM.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
I doubt SIL feels offended by anything. She just doesn't want to wonder if she should alert your X to things that you've posted. I wouldn't reply. Over time she can decide what kind of R she wants with you.
Exactly. I'll do whatever sentimental soul-baring posts I feel a need to do here or in other 'alt page. No more mention of M, D, or regret on regular fb page.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
"Bring It On" - Lenny Kravitz I will (re)check 'em out.
Use the music to create new triggers. .You're right
Cheers
ps ABBA ???? Really???? Check Man Rule 213(k) for clarification. I have. It's right before MR# 213(j): disco. Another sinful sentimental secret pleasure. Hated it back in the day, though. Go figure.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Hey G-man, I have not been around for couple days, for some of the same reasons others posts.
Your last couple posts scared me man, you are worthy of living a great live that YOU decide.
I think sitting around the house all the time is a bad precedent, you need to get out and do SOMETHING. I have at times, just gone to the local Borders or Barnes and Noble, couple bucks for coffee, read some magazines and people watch, you'll realize there is life after this, and you can have a great life.
Find some local places to hike, and watch the people, and the kids having fun, and not because you are missing that right now, but because there is more out there for you see and do and find that this life is too precious to just wait in the house.
You are a strong, compassionate, caring person who can build a life that is full, fulfilling and rewarding! There is only one person that can help with that, and that's you.
Keep your head up, you can handle it! Love this weather in the Northeast, I can't wait to get outside and just watch the clouds go buy and begin building my future for me!
You're right on all counts. Fear not, I am back to hiking, back to Borders and back to chatting/flirting after a long hiatus. Just fun and affirming, though: I am in no way "relationship-ready", as they say and won't be/don't want to be for a while. Thanks for your concern and suggestions. But the only way to spare you guys bothersome, negative posts is to NOT write them. And usually I NEED to write them. We all do at times, and they are often just so much venting and almost self-spewing, rather than red-flags and intervention time (but I always appreciate - and marvel at - how quickly the cavalry charges in when needed!). Very special people here at DB. Very special. I have my moments (don't we all?) but while the progress may often be slow, it is, at least, more often than not in the right direction.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Picturing you rockin' out in your house makes me smile! 