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Not the most graceful approach, but "beating the crap out of OW" approach works well too I bet lol

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This morning while at work my W txt me around the time she wakes up to tell me "I could not get any sleep, I am going to take a slow ride to work" Then she txt me "I am at work" she arrived to work 1hr 30min before he scheduled start time. Usually she is just getting up around the time she left this morning. I did drive past her work place parking lot mins after she said she was there and I did see her car. It is a secure lot so I was unable to enter or find a place to observe. I attempted to call OMW to see if he too had already left for work but went right to voicemail on every attempt.

At this point it is getting way out of hand. She is completely disrespectful toward me and just as recent as last night before I left for work we "co-existed" pretty well in the sense we did talk.

It has got to a point where I don't feel I could trust her and the person she is at the moment is not someone I want to continue a relationship with. I don't know if it is just her bitterness toward me that has her acting like this or she simply is a entirely different women from the one I knew up till a month ago.

Last edited by OfficerInNeed; 03/05/10 12:04 PM.

M: 27, W: 25
Together since: 01/31/00
M: 10/4/09 (8 Months)
ILBNILWY: 01/24/10
EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted).
Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10
Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
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Originally Posted By: OfficerInNeed
As of right now I strongly believe it is an emotional affair and hopefully I have stepped in just in time before it become something more.



Only a DAM (and trust me, I NEVER use that term, b/c I generally don't like it) characterizes an emotional affair as "just" an EA. To a woman, it is FAR more serious for her go give her heart to another man in an ongoing, emotional relationship than to give in to him for a ONS or even a period sexual one.

If you don't believe me, just poll the women on the forum.

ONLY A DUMB-ASS MAN MINIMIZES THE THREAT OF AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR!!!

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I agree- and that is the reason that most women do not come back from A's- they are heavily invested in (emotionally), whereas the men typically are looking for sex.

Don't minimize the severity


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officerInNeed,
I'm sorry that you find yourself here, I know it sucks. I too am dealing with an A - and my H keeps telling me they are just friends, which I know is BS.

Puppy & Allen are great at giving the best advice ever. I know how hard it is to follow, and goes against what you feel like doing. But I do believe it works. I have tried to go dark, and have failed at it many times. However, when I do it, my H starts pursing me. And the hardest ever I think, is GAL. But that is something you have to do, like the say on here fake it till you make it.


Together 16 years
Married 12 years
Me 36
H 34
D9 & S6
Separated 12/3/09
Confirmed A 1/25/10
Exposed A 1/26/10
H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
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Shirley Glass makes this piont in her interview Maynard, that men more often come back from affairs than women... more often when a woman leaves for anothr man, she doen'st come back

Hear that mb28? It's EASIER to bring a man back.. so you have the advantage here. laugh

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Why is that do you think? It being women are less likely to come back? Is it because it's more emotional for them?


Together 16 years
Married 12 years
Me 36
H 34
D9 & S6
Separated 12/3/09
Confirmed A 1/25/10
Exposed A 1/26/10
H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
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I think it's because women -- by the time they walk -- have typically already been planning their escape, emotionally, for 6-12 months or more. By the time they drop the bomb, they're DONE.

Us men are much more impulsive creatures.

Puppy

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So I get a call from OMW and she wants us to go to their work place and confront them as they exit. So I agree. They both come out and OMW approaches them. He is stunned and my W just tries to walk about. OMW grabbed my W arm and turned her and said "I told you to stop the phone calls and all this talking" my wife is a terrorfied look on her face said "We did, I did" I then walked up and suprised my W and said "No, you didnt. Enough is enough" She was in shock. So I then jump in OM face and give him a piece of my mind. He is scared and repeatedly said I am backing off I told her all the calls and talking are over. I grab my W hand and said lets go home and we walked away.

My W then went through a range of emotions from angry to sad to upset ect. she said "He was just easy to talk to, noone else would listen" and I said "I am here for you" she said no you are not 10 years of you acting like this...She then proceded to say we should have never got married and that it has been a while since she was deeply in love with me. That it is over she will start the process. She can never be happy with me cause she can never forgive the things I did ect..

I did what I had to do but in the process I killed every chance I may have at reconciliation. I told her as long as we are married you will not make these calls any longer, you need to respect me at the very least.

I don't know what is going through her head right now but she is certain she wants out.


M: 27, W: 25
Together since: 01/31/00
M: 10/4/09 (8 Months)
ILBNILWY: 01/24/10
EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted).
Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10
Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,073
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Umm- might not have gone as badly as you think- remember keep it consistant- don't be afraid or confused if she's super angry and change things up and be all lovey-dovey-

You are angry she's been lying and you've busted her A again.

You have every right to be angry, but that doesn't mean you cannot listen and validtate-

Just dont let that turn into more convincing or R talk, etc.

I think it might have gone pretty well


DARK
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