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Hi Pearl

I am with you on changing up the shopping style. I have been doing this recently. Buying unique qulity pieces in boutiques as opposed to chain store stuff I may see athousand people in. That being said, its how you wear the stuff that's important. I think I am somewhat ecletic (did I spell that right? brain is tired tonight...)and I will mix low and high end. I am also not a matchy type of girl. I like to mix it up.


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Hi Wholeagain

I guess it is fairly typical, but I was honestly shocked because of who it came from. One was my best friend in HS. BF played on her softball team for a couple seasons and she is really my only gf in Seattle he liked. And she really seemed to get along well with him so for her to say that was out of the blue. The other was BF's best friend's wife. They are the couple we used to do everything with. When the guys were roommates we basically all lived together. We've vacationed together, we are godparents to their daughter. For her to say that they thought we would break up until we moved to AK was shocking. Prior to that move we'd lived together for four years and had a house.

The comments about how no one thought he'd ever do something like that (cheat) were much more expected. Even my mother was in this camp.

Now I think more friends would prefer I left him and start over fresh but they are completely supportive of my decision, whatever it is.

But what is it???


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Argh! ((()))

Did any of your friends tell why they thought you would break up? Where do they think he's falling short?

On a lighter note, someone talk me out of buying hoochy shoes!
http://www.ninewest.ca/store/images/products/fa09.PG.NWDEMODE.BLACKLE.PD.jpg


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The ones who said that cited the fact that we are very different and come from different backgrounds.

It's true that we are opposite in many things: temperament, logical v. emotional, hobbies, taste in music, etc. But I always felt that the differences were good for us, that meant we were complementary and not just the same. We do have things we enjoy doing together and share similar values.

Our backgrounds are different, but I don't think it's that big of a deal. I grew up in an upper middle class family in the suburbs of Seattle and went to Catholic school my whole life. BF grew up in a blue class/middle class family in a small town in the midwest and went to public school his whole life. But we both come from a family of three kids, were raised Catholic but don't practice, aren't very close with our families and don't want children.

I don't know why they think I can do much better than BF (their words). I would say that some just don't know him that well but not sure why my gf from HS thinks that. Maybe I should ask her.

RE: the shoes, they're cute but I just have a problem with anything with a platform. That automatically makes me think trashy. Sorry. Or hope that helps. wink


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Originally Posted By: pearlharbr

RE: the shoes, they're cute but I just have a problem with anything with a platform. That automatically makes me think trashy.


I know! That's why I asked. lol You have also reminded me, I already own a pair of "weapons of mass destruction". They are not that bad, it's less than 3" for heel and platform combined. I don't know why my coworker called them that! lol

As for your friends comments and being different, I can relate to that. When our M first hit rocks, H's best friend said that H and I were so different he always new we would break up. I was like "What!?!" If that's what he was telling me, I can only imagine what he was telling him.

Did being different cause problems in your R?

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It has caused problems in the communication. I tend to get angry, explode and then talk things out right then. BF wants to take in all the info and sit on it for a few days before responding. It's very difficult and that's why I stopped pushing him to talk after the first year. Big mistake. But at least we understand that now and are both trying to make accommodations for the other person's style.

Other than that, I never saw it cause any problems. We had our separate hobbies and took trips alone but I love that about us. I don't want to feel like I'm living with a clone. Because he's handy he taught me how to do basic repairs on my car and around the house. Because I grew up eating Chinese food I introduced him to dim sum. Stuff like that.

Of course when he was having his A he insisted that we were too different and didn't have anything in common. He cited his love of playing softball and volleyball. So I asked if OW played softball and volleyball. Uh...no. Yeah, that's what I thought. When he wrote me a letter asking for another chance he included a long list of common interests.

I called my gf but just got VM. Hopefully I'll be able to talk to her tomorrow.


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Pearl {{{{{hugs}}}}}}


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Communication, who doesn't have problems with that? As far as personalities go, it's better to be different (I think. Sorry for hijacking with my own examples, but me and H have very similar personalities, so when there was something to talk about it was diamond on diamond).

I think more of a lifestyle difference when they say "But you are so different!"

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Cutter, thanks for the hugs.

Wholeagain, I agree, I think it's better to be different. But after BF kept saying over and over that we'd be better off with people more similar I can't help but wonder if he's right. Would I be happier with a man who enjoyed going to museums and the ballet and generally more social?


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