Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 21 of 22 1 2 19 20 21 22
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,866
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,866
Originally Posted By: loveherstill
I am not going to just wait for her, but I do want to be available when she is ready.


what does this mean????

Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 18,296
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 18,296
Originally Posted By: Steve McQueen
Originally Posted By: loveherstill
I am not going to just wait for her, but I do want to be available when she is ready.


what does this mean????


That's pretty much the definition of "waiting," isn't it?? confused

Puppy

Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 9,848
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 9,848
You need to take care of you. You need to move forward on your own. You need to focus on taking care of you and your kids, continuing your C, working on your issues, making sure the kids are doing okay in school, getting them C if need be.

If she wants to catch up with you later, that's great.


Michelle - Proud DR Rockette
S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09
http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 102
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 102
Puppy and Steve,

I am looking at this more like Michelle's last post. I am not replacing W with another woman but I will not hermit in the house and wait either. I am going to GAL and when she is ready she is welcome to come join me.

I know this is only a short time yet but I have been going and visiting with old friends for the last few days and have maintained NC with W. I will have to see W tonight when I pick up boys for the weekend. Attitude I will shoot for is friendly business. No hugs or any other touch.

Just talked to another friend who had her husband leave her after 7 years, divorce her, and come back 3 years later. They are now on year 13. This gives me yet more hope.

Dropping the rope so the wild animal is not scared is the only option. She is now committed to her IC so I know she will be better eventually. Now I wish her luck and it is time for me to heal myself.

This NC except for kids will be hard and I will break it sometime, but I will recover as fast as possible. Between you guys and real life friends my support group has gotten stronger in just the last two weeks.

I will lean on this board for help and on friends for help and with borrowed strength we will make it.

I plan on maintaining Dim stance until W approaches and even then I need to show that I cannot take her up on all of her offers.

If she asks me to go to kids doctor with her, I say yes. If she asks me out or to come over for dinner, I only accept some and I tell her that I would love to but I have plans; maybe we can do it the next day (make some things on my schedule that way).

Guys, I am not giving up at all, but I want it shown that my life will not stop without her and she will have to catch up to me if she wants to join me.

Took a long time to get this place. Still have a ways to go.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the help and the numerous 2X4's. Keep them coming.


Me 33
WAW 32
S12
S4
S2
M12
T14
Not wanting to ever give up.
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 18,296
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 18,296
LHS,

Here is a clue for you, worth no more than what I charge for it:

Originally Posted By: loveherstill
Puppy and Steve,

I am looking at this more like Michelle's last post. I am not replacing W with another woman but I will not hermit in the house and wait either. I am going to GAL and when she is ready she is welcome to come join me I may or may not have moved on by then.


Puppy

Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 102
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 102
Thank you much Puppy. I find myself caring less and less what she does and with whom. I do not ask, but I truly care less and less every week. I believe that your correction will be more true soon.

That is what I need to project to her. It is not if she will take me back anymore but if I will allow her another chance.

Up until now she knew the answer and that allowed her the certainty to cake eat.

Puppy, I will work on making her less certain of that answer and I will continue with the GAL.

Just found out that local indoor waterpark has $5.00 tickets from 3 pm until 9pm Monday through Thursday all February. The boys will like that as the whole family loved it when we went earlier this year.

I think I will ask a friend if them and their kids would like to go with me and my kids.

An idea for GAL with the kids.

She can enjoy her empty house.

Thanks guys


Me 33
WAW 32
S12
S4
S2
M12
T14
Not wanting to ever give up.
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 102
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 102
Well guys you all may remember her hitting me again last Monday and me sending the cop away. My wife filed for restraining order and filed charges for the restraint.

I have witnesses for the prior incidents and my S12 to witness this last one. I am not too worried about court coming up as this is all first offense stuff and I have witnesses of my own. She has no witnesses but does have marks on her arms where I held them.

Time to talk to a L Monday morning.

I will have a hard time getting her out of the house but I will take over paying the mortgage myself and she will get no more money than is required for he IC copay.

Any advise is helpful.


Me 33
WAW 32
S12
S4
S2
M12
T14
Not wanting to ever give up.
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 18,296
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 18,296
Those that refuse to play offense, are destined to play defense.

Time to lawyer up.

Puppy

Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 102
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 102
Puppy,

Time has come. OM is now at my house for the first time since this started she invited him. This broke on rule we set together in the very beginning of this whole mess.

Talking to lawyer Monday.


Me 33
WAW 32
S12
S4
S2
M12
T14
Not wanting to ever give up.
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 18,296
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 18,296
I'm sorry she is disrespecting you so blatantly, LHS. Let us know what your attorney says.

Puppy

Page 21 of 22 1 2 19 20 21 22

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard