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Peace, I can understand how it is; it is hardest when they ignore their children, who cannot understand.

We have often commented that we are in similar timeframes; I wonder if perhaps your X is in a withdrawal, which might actually be a good thing.


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

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Peace I think of you often and think you have done a great job of handling yourself and the business. I don't think you can have a friendship with your ex right now. He is not ready. I do believe you can one day though. He still has much growing to do.

When you are centered and live your life right, it's hard to understand the mistakes of others and why they dod the things they do. In many ways I don't think they truly understand either.

Most recently my h said to me he couldn't be himself married to me. If that truly is how he felt then maybe our situation was for the best. I don't think today though the person he is, is really the person he wants to be. He doesn't know who or what to be. He says he is not happy, but he wasn't happy with me either. He is unhappy with himself. Well did he think running away was going to make him happy? My h is stuck from 4 yrs ago.

Keep doing the right things Peace! You do sound so good and strong.


Me 50
H 42
S 22
S 9
D 7
M 12
T 17
H moved out 8/2006
H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks
H moved home 5/2011 for good

"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
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hi friends
H remains dark
he doesnt answer his phone ever
no contact with kids for maybe about 2 months?
they still ask abaout him
That part is very sad and stressful for them as they wonder if x is ok?
and so do I??

I tell them repeatedly that God is her e for us
we can pray for X
and hopeful;ly he will figure things out
sometimes people get sick and they have to figure things out themselves
its not their fault

My S8 asks me to marry BF so he can have a da
I just listen
I am not getting M not now or anytime soon and probably not to BF although we have a lot of fun together and things go very smoothly..probably the smoothest R Ive ever had
no demands..no negativity
all other areas in my life remain very good
work is good
and I feel happy and fulfilled in many ways

XH darkness concerns me
I dont know if we will ever speak with him again
I am coming to terms with this and preparing to raise my kids alone with no help frm X
I sense God is behind me


married 14 years
H 42
bomb 2/07 IDLYA
D final 3 /09
M ow D ow
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Hi peace-
I will never understand how someone can abandon their children. The children are innocent and don't understand. Many times they believe it is something that they have done that made their parent go away. Keep reassuraing your kids. I hope your XH figures out that he needs to be there for them.

You sound strong and moving forward. You have made it through the worst of this and are able to appreciate the good things in your life. I am happy for you.

(((HUGS)))

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Hey Peace, nothing you can do about x now. Keep him in your prayers and continue to move forward.

You have so many things to be thankful for in life. Cherish those things and find your happiness.

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Peace,
He's in a very dark place right now and w/the holidays, it threw him for a loop. He's basically hiding from the world because the holidays were "happy" times and he's not up to putting on a happy mask to be around others. Besides, the guilt about what he's done isn't helping much either.

All you can do is pray for him. Trust me, he'll contact you again when he feels a bit better.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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I called xmil to see if she knew where xh was
she lives up north
she said he and ow were there for the last few weeks

she was trying to get them out
xh is creating a lot of pain for her
she doesnt like OW says she is a NUT and liar
she said she told xh to NOT come back

she asked xh to call the kids
he wouldnt
he is mad at me
he said the kids will be ok without him this is something he has to do
she told him to go back to this state and man up to his family
she validated me and our M a alot
said xh is a real mess as if I hadnt known
he is drinking again that I wasnt sure as he was a recovering alcoholic in AA for 20 years
she said OW is bringing him down
so
they are going to move to the west where OW family is
MIL said xh said her family is a bunch of nuts too
I was sad to hear xh left state
I thought he did but this was verification
my life seems so chaotic where xh is concerned
seems like all my friends have NOrmal lives
where xh soent leave without a word
and what do I tell my kids
I have a therapy appt to discuss how to handle this new info with kids
and xh abandonment of them
as d14 is talking about where he is and ect
peace
I


married 14 years
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D final 3 /09
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peace-
I am so sorry to hear about the downward spiral that your H is in. You seemed to have already sensed that something like this was going on so hopefully it wasn't too big of a shock. No matter, I am sure it still hurts to know what he is doing to himself.

My opinion is that you keep doing what you are doing with the kids. Tell them that dad is sick and has problems to work through. Nothing that they did caused any of this to happen and that he still does love them in his own way. And at this point, all that you can do for him is pray for him and keep hope that he will get better.

And yes, all of your friends may seem like they have normal lives, but I'm sure their lives aren't perfect either. Try to appreciate what you have now even if you are striving for something better.

(((HUGS)))

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Peace,
Your xh is on his own journey and one that you cannot be a part of. I'm sorry for this. If it means he has to move across the country to realize that happiness comes from within, so be it. This may be also the time that he will eventually bottom out...let's just hope and pray he gets himself together.

As for you and your family, continue as you have been doing. If the children inquire about him, be honest and just tell them he's moved and you do not have a forwarding address for him right now. I do believe that at some point, he's going to reach out to the children, but he's not to that point right now. He's got to finish up the replay, etc., before that may happen.

The most important thing is to take care of yourself right now.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Peace, I got some info that makes me worry that X might pull the same thing. I know how it is to hear the little ones confused as to where the parent is. At least your ILs support you.

I'm sorry that you have to deal with this with your kids, but you sound as if you are handling it in the very best way that you can.

Otherwise, you sound as if you are doing OK with the rest of your life.

I keep wondering if X will come off this journey or what....


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

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