Oh, ACJ! You will always be your children's mom. I feel so sorry for this baby, being born into a situation that is so complicated. Be prepared for D14 to cling to her dad --- I think she is fearful of losing him.
You will know they are your kids when they start having children. My D22 left us, started living with a D'ed guy (with 2 little kids already), much older than her (he's in his mid-30's), has 2 children now, and where she barely contacted us before, is on the phone daily with me now. I did DB her a bit, in that, I did not talk about idiot bf, or discuss how hurt we were (for her) with her foolish choices, and did not pursue her. Try to do the same thing with yours. I know it's hard ---- believe me, I really do know how hard it is.
Concentrate on your career and studies. It's a good way of GAL.
My thoughts are with you.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
The fact that it was a long and difficult labour made it harder in a way b/c that's exactly how things were with D19. Different reasons but nonetheless a similar situation. In fact the similarities between mine and XHs early M and theirs are getting spooky.
D19 is not at home, she is revising for her exams and as she lives in an apartment that she and her bf rent together she has no reason to come home to stay (as in she didn't have to leave uni accomodation). I spoke to her this morning to tell her about the baby. About an hour later my mum phoned me. D19 had called her apparently in a bit of a state. I left it a while and then txt her to see if she was ok. She said she needed to process her thoughts and it was something she had to do by herself. I respected that. Tomight she txt me that she has decided to ask to see the baby. I told her it was the right decision. I just hope XH meets her at least half way on this one.
I offered to pick D14 up from XHs house as she was due to come home this evening. She had been to the hospitla to viist OW and the baby. I asked if she had some photos and she showed them to me. Thankfully they weren't good photos (on a phone) and so I could legitimately stay calm. I did my grieving whilst she wasn't here. Hopefully there is no more grieve to come from what was my M.
BM studying is a great way to GAL and forget but it's also very easy to find yourself too wrapped up in it and forget what is important in life. Right now it has to be my kids. I have plenty oftime left to study. They will not be kids for much longer.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
