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Ooohhh..curious...what are those interesting plans Gyps?


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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Hey Mish..

My original plan was to see a movie and go volunteer at the hospital, doing the Reiki combining fun and giving.

Instead I stayed home, was alone but not lonely, with my ailing pooch and a good book. I've done the go out and party with friends while single. I've done go out and party all dressed up with all the bells and whistles.

What I found I loved most was celebrating at home with family, friends and children. All together, making some type of meal, enjoying the closeness, playing games. Not drinking like idiots.

This year the kids (sons 24 and 19) were with friends, spending the night presumably drinking like parched fish. My daughter (15) was at her cousin's probably being offered champagne but going for sparkling cider.

Three minutes before midnight, I sent them a Happy New Year's text signing it from me and our dog. Five minutes into the new year my nineteen year old called me to wish me a Happy New Year. What a gift that was. He asked what I'd been doing. "Oh, pooch and I have been howling at the moon, playing 'pound it' (what our dog does instead of shaking paws) and seeing whose tail can wag the most." He politely laughed and let me know he was thinking of me.

And that was a wonderful New Year's Eve. Thanks for asking.

*hugs*

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That sounds lovely Gyps. Glad you had a wonderful night. It's always great to cuddle with your dog and have a quiet night.


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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Things get slow on my thread when things are humming along...

Vacation is over. Spent lots of time recouping, got a visit in with my college friend, shopping, family in NY, etc. Hard to get up for work today, and wanted a nap when I got home - I have to kick-start this metabolism!

I took some advice and finally wrote x:
Quote:

Chuck, I wanted to let you know that I am glad the kids got a chance to go see IC last month. Thanks for taking them. You're a good dad. Let's both be more careful about giving each other a head's up about medical and other appointments -- with that in mind, I wanted to let you know that they'll both be going to the dentist tomorrow after school.
Also, I paid for 2 snowboard trips for S14 with Park and Rec as one of his presents. There are 4 more trips available after that- would you be able to spilt the cost with me for those? They are $40 each. I'm not sure how many I would be able to swing on my own, and I'm hoping he'll get to use the board you got him for Christmas. Have a happy new year! Donna

Quote:
thank you for the kind words...i needed that. thanks for the heads up about the dentist. i knew they were going just wasnt sure when. thanks for getting S's binding fixed, i didnt want him using the board until it was. im glad you promised the two trips. im sure he will enjoy them. i can only say that when the next trips come up that i will try...unfortunately it was a very bad year for csm...im wearing my bonus this year(new sweatshirt) thats it... i know things are hard all over but im still trying to recover from a lost month after surgery and 20 lost days in the spring when i was on 4 days. not whining just letting you know i will do whatever i can. thanks again and happy new year to you also


Still felt a bit of a stretch to say he is a good dad (for the obvious reasons), but he is trying to do the best that he can, given the choices he has made. Less animosity is better, anyway.

*******
I had a dream last night....we had seen Avatar yesterday evening, and that fed into it in some places. I remember it evaporating as I woke up, but
I had a glipse of the future. And I felt
full.
Fulfilled.

It was different from the feeling I had long ago in front of my picture window, x's arms around me as I professed how blessed I felt. I think that was more secure.

The feeling in the dream was bigger. More...aware.

I lost a bunch of the dream, but I do remember an image of X's great-grandfather, superimposed with him: nearly blind, deaf, frail and old. But unlike great-grandfather, he was alone...
And I was surrounded by my children and children's children. I think there was even a romantic partner nearby, with me.

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Oohh...it was a night of good dreams!

Glad you made it to work today. After that much time off it has to be SO hard! I think the longest I've ever been off work on vaction (not laid off or purposely not working) was about 7 days. That is nearly impossible to come back from so 2.5 weeks would be ridiculously hard to recover from.

Hope you're staying warm!!


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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Great email. Bravo!! And his response is very telling I'd say...

All lowercase -- is this standard, or is he feeling weak and small?

More important: "thank you for the kind words...i needed that."

Clearly he is talking about your "good dad" comment and he has not been feeling like one. THUS, his trip to the kid's IC really was all about him. And, judging by his avoiding telling you about it and his lowercase email, he's not feeling very good about himself these days. And, it doesn't sound like he's hearing good things about himself from his partner either. Money is tight, he's recognizing the pain of his children, house is probably tense, he doesn't feel supported. Hard time for him right now almost certainly.

You on the other hand are sounding great :-) And, I loved Avatar!!


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He always writes in lower-case - he is a 2 finger typer and can't be bothered with capitals.
It was really hard for me to write that he is a good dad - he is a good dad for one who left his family to live full-time with his affair partner and her 4 kids full-time. I just left that part unsaid wink

Before the truth came out (the only time he ever showed any remorse), I remember him crying to me that he was a failure as a husband, a father, a man....I kept telling him No! back then, clueless dolt I was. Now I see it.
Sad that he went to such lengths to be "happy," without regards to who and what he hurt along the way, only to find himself with this mess.
I'm still not convinced that he would even consciously recognize himself as going through a hard time, though. Bet if you asked him, things are wonderful!

I, on the other hand, AM doing great!

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It could be worse. Your H could be a caps-lock/all caps typist instead. LOL.


Me: 49
WAW: 47
S11, S7
Years Married/Together: 17/18
Bomb: 6/15/07
Separation: 7/6/07
D: 4/3/09

Real love is a decision.
Marriage is a commitment.
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I seem to remember him doing just that, ages ago when the sitch started - I told him it was obnoxious.

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My xh was the fastest 2 finger typist I've ever seen and he actually capitalized too. It was weird!

Glad you are feelin' good Donna!!!!!


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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