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Tridoc,

Thank you. The best thing you can do now is listen to her, listen to her, and more listening to her. If she can vent the anger and pain, she can get to the true feelings.


M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months
4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10
I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
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Bridge,

Thanks for the call and the reminder about the new normal.

Love you

xoxo


M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months
4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10
I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,978
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Greek, giving and Junco...

Thanks for the kind words. It means a lot.


M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months
4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10
I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,978
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antlers,

when we know better, we do better.

And every chance you get, you listen to her. You let her vent and you validate her reality even if it differs from yours.


M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months
4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10
I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,978
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How much penance is enough? I'm well aware of the damage I caused. I apologized, I owned it, and I've changed. Again, how much penance is enough?
_________________________

antlers, you apologize, you change and then you forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know. Some debts can't be repaid. Both parties have to heal and come to their own realization of forgiveness. I'm not there yet, but I will be one day. Then maybe he and I can have a conversation about things and both of us find some resolution.


M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months
4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10
I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 13,424
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(((((cookie)))))
You are going to be all right! There will be some tough times, I am sure, but you are doing the things that have to be done to make the future better, rather than hiding from it!

You are on the way up!

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soleil,

I'm so very saddened that our sitches are familiar. Yet I'm so grateful that we found each other here.

All the best to you always


M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months
4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10
I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,978
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Ready, thanks for being there, always.

Hugs


M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months
4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10
I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,978
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wolverine, there are always different perspectives. That's why police officers interview all the witnesses. 10 different people give 10 different stories of the exact same incident. No surprise there. When one person is incapable or unwilling to recognizing another person's reality and perspective, you have abuse.

I do not love him. I stopped loving him years ago. I left emotionally years ago. I left physically this year.


M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months
4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10
I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,978
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fb2, spybunny, Jeff,

Thanks for the support. smile


M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months
4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10
I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
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