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charlie - cereal and banana bad choice for bfast - too carby and sugary

Try eggs and an apple or berries - lunch and dinner protein and green veggies!

this works - good luck


M44 H41
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Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy"
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luvless #1894485 12/15/09 03:13 PM
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Pssst . . . Luvless . . . check the date on that last post. smile

But it's probably time to start this old warhorse back up again anyway. I know I just resolved to go back to losing weight. Who's with me?


Recovering Sex-Starved Husband.
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lol now im sillyoldluvless smile

I saw the 12 didn't see 08..oh well it's still good advice.

I've lost 6 lbs - the heartache diet works everytime!


M44 H41
M20 T23
3 older teens
Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy"
EA Nov 09 w/coworker
Another PA in Mar 10
I Filed Apr 10
D final Dec 10
luvless #1927654 02/01/10 02:23 AM
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Hey, we're back. I started my low-carb diet again this past week. I basically do Atkins modified by adding as many unsweet vegetables as I want--I figure there's no way spinach, peppers, lettuce, celery, etc. can cause too much trouble, though I do stop with the corn, peas, carrots and all starches.

This works for me because I have a horrendous sweet tooth. Will keep updating.


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Traded in the Atkins for a gym membership. Atkins/low carb works for me, but I noticed long ago that it seems to work mostly by boring you into eating very low calories--after the initial gorging on cheese and bacon I usually averaged 1200-1500 calories per day.

Instead I'm now shooting for 2000 fairly balanced calories/day with an emphasis on protein and fewer carbohydrates than most people eat, though I don't deny myself artificial sweeteners. That's coupled with at least half an hour to an hour of cardiovascular training daily, though, depending on whether I lift that day or not. I lift weights four times per week (large movement upper-body, large movement lower-body, break, then repeat, then two more breaks.) On the lifting days I do half an hour of cardio. On the active rest days I do an hour.


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My gym is opening a franchise a few blocks from my new workplace, so I'll be able to stop off after work. That will be a big help.


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I doubt anyone reads this anymore, but who cares? I'm over 22 pounds down from when I joined the gym and I'm really starting to see the cardiovascular endurance improve, too.

My goal is to be back to the weight I was at when I quit grappling by the end of January and back to the weight I was when I was doing metric centuries on my bike (100-kilometer "races," though my idea of racing was pretty leisurely) by the end of this coming school year. If I can maintain a gym habit, I think I can do this pretty well.

In theory, if you can create a deficit of 3,500 calories, you've burned one pound of fat, give or take. Daily maintenance for my current weight is over 3,000 calories by the Basal Metabolic Rate method, so the first thing I've tried to do is to eat the maintenance level for my eventual goal (about 225-250, which on my frame is fairly muscular and reasonably lean) which means staying somewhere between 1600-2000 calories per day. For now, I use 2000 as my benchmark . . . but I try to burn at least 500 calories per day in the gym doing cardio work just so that I have something trackable and repeatable. The goal is to create a 1,000 calorie deficit minimum per day. That would mean I burn 7,000 more calories than I take in every week, which translates to 2 pounds lost per week on average. The calorie numbers sound kind of extreme, but the rate of fat loss is right in the middle of what most doctors recommend.


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Yes they do read it and congratulations on your weight loss.

Ok, I'll share, I have gone from about 253 in August 2009 down to 217 pounds as of today and from totally out of shape last year to running a half marathon in June of 2010. I will soon sign up for another half marathon.

As someone who is 61, my metabolism isn't what it use to be. My resting metabolism (based on the fancy electronic scale I purchased) is about 1,920 cal per day give or take a little, so I envy your 3,000 calorie youthful metabolism. I have found that if I don't really exercise pretty hard, the weight just won't come off.

If I exercise hard and stay hungry then the pounds drop off until I hit a plateau. Then I need to adjust diet and exercise levels again after a while for any further weight to drop off.

What I eat has also really changed over the past year. I now avoid hamburgers, french fries and all junk food. If I get a sandwich, I take half the bread and toss it so I have an open faced sandwich. I eat a lot more salads and veggies and try to add high fiber foods to each meal. I also amost never have a desert or candy. I really try to cut my dinner portion size a lot, and try hard to only eat half of what is served at a restaurant and bring the rest home in a doggie bag. To me portion control has been a big issue.

I feel like I have been fighting from one weight plateau to the next recently. My long term goal is to get down to about 185 pounds, so I have a ways to go, but I also am pleased with the changes in my body and what I am able to physically do. I am no longer obese, just "overweight," which I am proud of.

I have been thinking about getting some personal trainer time at the gym I go to to try to break the 200 pound barrier, but haven't done that yet.

My weight loss and improved physical condition were one the the things that convinced my wife that I was serious about changing my life. My determination in this area made a believer of her when it came to my statement that I was going to be in a satisfying sexual relationship next year with or without her, but that I preferred it to be with her.


>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
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Oh boy, oh boy, oh boY!!! I was just thinking that I wished there was a whole section in these forums on "keeping physically healthy" and then I found this! Another big bonus is that I found you, Young! I'm 57 and feeling like I'd like to make another big push to make this marriage all it could be. I'm also quite the old duffer on this site having come here half dead from discovering my H's affair in 1999. Many things helped us rebuild and the folks on this site were more valuable than I could ever convey and miracle after miracle got us to a much better place...not perfect but a whole lot to be thankful about!

Like I say, things could be better... and bet that if I worked on several things we could get to a better place. One issue is that we have both pretty much lost our sex drive. I was on antidepressants for 9 years this time, which always make me lose desire (I've been on them 3 periods of my life), in fact I expected that I would be on them the rest of my life but lo, another miracle, I managed to get off them (happy dance!) however this time desire hasn't flooded back (rats!). One of our problems is definitely my weight. It's a turn-off to my H, although he doesn't complain about it any more, and ya'll would be familiar with all the problems being the out of shape one entails. Like you, Young, I'm a plateauer. Between Jan and April I lost 20 lbs (even with that am right on the borderline between obese and overweight). The good news is that I stabilized and didn't gain it back but I'd like to lose 30 more lbs. So can I hang out with you guys?

2Learn #2059464 08/19/10 04:55 PM
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Originally Posted By: 2Learn
...One of our problems is definitely my weight. It's a turn-off to my H, although he doesn't complain about it any more, and ya'll would be familiar with all the problems being the out of shape one entails. Like you, Young, I'm a plateauer. Between Jan and April I lost 20 lbs (even with that am right on the borderline between obese and overweight). The good news is that I stabilized and didn't gain it back but I'd like to lose 30 more lbs. So can I hang out with you guys?


Congratualations on your weight loss. The medical benefits of going from obesse to just overweight are incredible, especially for someone over 55. You should view yourself as a real winner in life for being able to do that and maintain your weight loss. That means that you have adjusted a number of lifestyle issues.

One of my sons has a college friend that is a doctor and he basically said that wieght platues are a natural thing. That you need to increase your eating for a week or so and/or drop your excercise so your body metabolism gets a bit confused then start pushing the use more calories than you take in thing all over again.

As a man, I will tell you that I love my wife for who she is not because of her weight or the smoothness of her skin. While I might ogle a thin 25 year old, I really want to make love to and be made love by my wife, who I have shared so much with. One's attitude toward your body and your self image are what will really inspire your husband. I keep telling that to my wife because she has some real body image issues that get in the way of our ML.

I have found that running on a treadmill and weight machines at a gym are what seem to be the best exercises for me. I have one knee that I injured (surgery) at a ski resort when I was young. I find that running on pavement is just too punishing for my lower body. I love swimming but where I live there aren't any good indoor pools nearby. I also have an eliptical trainer at home that I will ocassionally use, when I can't get to the gym or want a quick afterwork bit of exercise. My wife and I have also started walking on weekends together along trails and short (2 to 4 miles) hikes.

Most things I read indicate that heavy exercise is a natural anti-depressant. I know that since I have started to do much more exercise that I can deal much better with the stress of my job. So in addition to health benefits, loosing weight and feeling better about yourself, there are other benefits.

On a recent vacation in Europe, we got to the train station in a city where we had a rental car and waited for a taxi to take us to the rental car office, but none came. After over an hour we started to make phone calls and ask people. There was a festival that basically closed the city down. So we walked with our luggage about 2.5 kilometers to the rental car agency. Luckily we were in good enough shape and it became one of those things that was a joint challenge success for us. During the trek, we asked several people for directions and they were so nice to this 60-year-old tourist couple that that to became a highlight of the trip. Another highlight of our trip was going for a hike in a mountain range and canoeing along a river.

So being in better shape & loosing weight not only allows one to fit better in the cheap airline seats, but also allows one to do things.

In the past year I have run in two organized races. One was a 5-mile and the other a half marathon. I was amazed that the vast majority of the people participating in these events were women and not young women. You would really fit in, in one of these events. Some of the women fast or power walk these events and others jog or run them. With say three or four months of training at three or so times a week you could easily sign up and participate in one of these kinds of events. Many of them help raise money for worthy charities. Several of the participants do memorials for friends of their who have recently died. A number of women I saw did the event as a "girls weekend out" type of thing.

The amazing thing about participating in one of these events is that it will change your self-image and your image in the eyes of your spouse and co-workers. Rather than feeling you are "an old duffer" you may think and act like your body is a fit, well-oiled machine.

Again, while my wife will not exercise with me except for hikes and things on the weekends, she ran/walked the 5-mile event I was in(but not with me) and takes great pride in her accomplishing that. You might try to figure out something that you and your H can do both on a regular basis and then as a special deal. There are lots of 5K, 10K & half marathons at destination resorts including; DisneyWorld, Las Vegas, Memphis, San Diego, Hawaii so it can be made into a fun vacation as well. A kind of reward for months of exercising and training.

Since I am on a roll, I might as well keep going. Getting at least 7 hours of sleep a night has also been an important lifestyle change for me, although I still have problems turning off the TV or leaving the computer alone after dinner. Too little sleep really makes weight loss difficult.

As far as eating is concerned I am now a real believer in high fiber low glycemic index (low GI) foods and even more in portion control. I am finally eating much more fruits, raw tree nuts and raw veggies each meal and I feel it has made a huge difference.

I still eat meats, eggs and dairy products, but just not as much of them. The only time in the past year that I had a hamburger or french fries was after the half marathon. I felt that on that day I could probably eat anything and it would be OK. When in a work meeting, I am faced with a sandwich, I try to take just half the sandwich and turn it into an open face sandwich and use a knife and fork to slow myself down and eat less of the high GI bread.

I am sure that with your 20 pound weight loss; you too have some insights into what works for you that others would appreciate.

Good luck to you and your husband.


>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
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